Well luckily for you OP they can't put a blanket ban on flexible working:
Re‑frame the problem before the meeting
Right now, work are treating this as:
“You need to find childcare so you can do your contracted hours.”
What it actually is:
“A permanent change in caring responsibilities that intersects with an employer’s legal duties around flexible working, carers, and discrimination by association.”
That doesn’t mean the employer must agree to anything you ask - but it does mean:
- They must consider solutions reasonably
- They must consult properly
- They must explore alternatives, not just say “be here 8.30–5 every day or else”
This is explicitly set out in Acas guidance and UK law. [acas.org.uk], [gov.uk]
Employees can request flexible working from day one
Employers must consult before refusing
Refusal must be based on evidence, not preference or convenience [acas.org.uk], [gov.uk]
Even if they ultimately say no, they must:
- Discuss alternatives
- Explain why each alternative doesn’t work
- Saying “you must be in the office 8.30–5 every day” without exploring adjusted patterns is not reasonable handling.
Two of your children have additional needs. Under the Equality Act, you are protected from being treated unfavourably because of your association with disabled dependants.
That includes:
- Rigid working patterns that disproportionately disadvantage you
- Pressure that would not be applied to someone without caring responsibilities
This is well‑established in guidance from Carers UK and Working Families. [carersuk.org], [workingfam...ies.org.uk]
You don’t need to say “discrimination claim”. You can say:
“Because two of my children have additional needs, some childcare options that might be available to other families aren’t safe or appropriate. I need us to factor that into what is reasonable.” That is factual, not confrontational.
At the meeting, don't spend the whole time re‑explaining why nurseries, childminders, taxis and nannies won’t work. You've already done that.
Instead, say something like:
“I have explored all reasonable childcare options locally. There is no safe, affordable or sustainable after‑school care available for two days a week. This is not a temporary issue, and it’s not one I can personally fix.”
That shifts the conversation from “try harder” to “ok, what can work at work?”
What you can realistically put on the table (practical options)
Go in with work‑based solutions, not childcare solutions.
Option A: Formalise what’s already happening
- Leaving at 14:40
- Logging back on
- Working her full hours / beyond
You could propose:
- Two fixed days a week with adjusted hours
- Being contactable and accountable during those times
- Clear cover / escalation arrangements
This aligns with Acas guidance that flexibility can include partial changes, not all‑or‑nothing
Option B: Compressed or staggered hours
Example:
- 8.00–4.30 on childcare days
- Longer days on others to balance hours
This is explicitly recognised as a form of flexible working under UK law.
Option C: Role‑based adjustment* *(not demotion)
If they argue supervision requires presence:
- Could certain supervisory duties be anchored to office days?
- Could deputy cover be formalised?
- Could training responsibilities be scheduled on core days?
Employers must consider role adaptations, not just raw hours, before refusal.
It might be worth a chat with ACAS prior to the meeting if you can?