Is this bad or am I the problem

[GraceInBloom]

I’d really appreciate some objective advice because I feel upset, confused and am questioning my sanity.

I’ve been working in a senior role at a growing company for several years. I pretty much built the department from scratch and as it was a scaling startup, I’ve worked extremely long hours to get it to where it is.

A few weeks ago, my boss hired in someone new in a parallel role that's equally senior but unrelated to my department. Let's call her Susan. Susan happens to be the bosses closest friend.

Susan immediately swept in and started acting like she ran the place. She was described by colleagues as "intimidating" and "patronising" and upset a couple of other senior staff by overstepping her role.

Then she began involving herself in my area. This started initially by her correcting my work without being asked or invited and where it had nothing to do with her. I set a boundary, politely, and she apologised but then continued to escalate this type of behavior.

Suggesting changes, directing junior members of my team, organising meetings around work I’m responsible for, and generally behaving as though they were the boss of my department rather than me. It was so pronounced that it started to cause disruption and junior staff asked why she was involved.

I raised concerns about this and was told it would be addressed as the boss said he agreed it was not acceptable. He reiterated I was the boss of my department and said he'd ensure I didn't have to work directly with her.

To my shock, shortly after the boss created a "leadership team" which includes Susan in which ONLY my departments work is discussed. As in, they use this group to challenge my work, but not hers or anyone else's.

From there she began challenging everything I do, down to minute execution turning almost every decision into a debate.

For example saying I should do something differently and when I disagreed saying "chatGPT agrees with my view" and the boss did nothing and even actively encouraged her.

So I started getting angry.

I again raised the issue a few days ago but got no reply.

It was clear to me at this point that the boss sees Susan as his best friend and wanted her to have involvement across every department, and that id either have to accept being constantly undermined or leave.

A few days later my junior colleague messaged me to ask me to give him access to some systems for our new team member. I asked "what team member?"

Astoundingly it turned out that Susan and my boss had hired someone for MY team (one of this Susans contacts) without even discussing it with me, and agreed this new hire would take over a very key part of my own role and I only found out because that team member came to me, confused and uncomfortable.

When I challenged it, I was told:
that area wasn’t really my responsibility (it is, and always has been), that nothing had been done in that space (which isn’t accurate), that it was just an “oversight” and a myriad of other excuses.

In the same discussion, my role was minimised in front of others, and it was implied I don’t really run my own function and that me reacting was due to me being "competitive" and "making it about ego".

I remained calm but resigned on the spot, but the conversation was so gaslighty with both of them claiming I had no reason to react and I wanted a sanity check as they made me feel nuts.

Before working in this job for the last few years I worked for myself so I've not got much of a grip on if this is normal work behaviour or not?

For clarity, my department has been the strongest performing in the company, Susan has absolutely no experience and I cannot find a legitimate business reason for any of this.

I'm really devasted to lose the job I love :(

If you think you can get another job by the end of your 3 months then I wouldn’t bother with constructive dismissal - doesn’t a settlement for that depend on losses and you won’t have lost anything if you go straight into a new job.

I definitely agree that it sounds like constructive dismissal, but a solicitor probably would have wanted to have managed your resignation to make sure you’re set up for a tribunal case properly.

If you're not working your notice you have no right to be paid it. You should have lawyered up before you quit

Can you speak to the nice director and start up your own company together, poaching your team and the system you developed? Not sure of the legality of all that (I'd check contracts).

Seems like the boss thinks Susan is doing a better job and things need better handling in your department. None of us can say whether that is the case from your story alone.

I work in HR - personally I'd bring a constructive dismissal case. Call Acas for some advice.

Rein.

@plainjanesuperbrain2026 YOU are the one who sounds deranged here. Trump is a very good example of destructive nepotism.

@GraceInBloom - this sounds really awful and difficult.

if your boss had any sort of problem with your work and the department, he should have talked to you about areas for improvement with targets and given you a chance to do that.

This sounds like a case for constructive dismissal as others have said. Get lawyer advice on constructing your case. It needs to be detailed with examples and back up like emails to prove your point.

I wish you luck. It sounds awful and so stressful and your boss has not handled this well.

Agree with this. I resigned on the spot after 18 years, when someone new started exhibiting controlling and unreasonable behaviour. She was (secretly) g/f of director/my line manager. So I emailed a short essay, detailing 5 instances of unreasonable behavior to the director and to top management/head-office, (exposing their relationship as a reason for me having nowhere to go with my complaint). I told them I would take further action unless they paid me 3 months notice, the bonus, and what would equate to a redundancy amount - fair figure. They shat their pants! And they paid me a 'goodwill gesture' amounting to the equivalent, whilst denying all of the above 🤔. And they paid my solicitor fees. Solicitor said it was the best offer she'd ever heard of in an employment case. Lucky for them that I accepted the settlement, as my 7 page evidence statement that I had compiled detailing bullying, undermining, verbal abuse, hatred, mysogyny, racism, homophobia and unprofessional behavior (from both) remained unseen/unheard. I had some time off work after, then got me a shiny new job with people who are lovely! Best move ever! Good luck xx

It's not you it's them. Also I hate it when people respond to work messages with emojis. Wtaf? Write properly you fool.
Keep calm. Practice a stock response to why you're leaving. 'It was really clear to me that my role was being reshuffled and I absolutely love the varied aspects of it, once this is complete it will no longer have the same attraction. I wish you all the best in the future but my personal goal for a job is to stimulate me mentally with growth.'
Or as simple as - my job is being reshuffled and it no longer works for me on various levels.

🤣 Yeah, good call; you don’t want to engage further, as there might be a danger of some logic getting in. Why in the world is mentioning that Trump’s method of doing business (do what you want, profit at any cost, don’t give a fuck about anyone and throw in some old-fashioned racism and misogyny for good measure) has become endemic in the US “Trump Derangement Syndrome”? I mean hey, if you want to support a leader who uses the office to enrich his family by billions in untraceable crypto currency, who is a convicted sexual abuser (he’s already lost one appeal and he directly asked the US Supreme Court to overturn the verdict - I won’t even get into the ethics of that) who is friends with wealthy paedophiles, you do you. I think the rest of us find all that slightly, well, evil, but we’re all different?

In general, “Trump derangement syndrome” has to got to be one of the most stupid or clever concepts ever designed to shut up those who disagree with you. Any tiny negative mention of Trump and people are accused of being deranged. When Trump wouldn’t stop talking about Obama and spouting his racist birther shite, no one accused him of having Obama Derangement Syndrome. Or despite the fact that he goes on and on and ON about Biden, no one called that “Biden derangement syndrome.” You know, I’ve always thought that was the problem with liberals; we don’t fight dirty enough, and we need to. America needs its own Alastair Campbell in the very worst way.

And OF COURSE Trump is in people’s heads; if someone doesn’t stop his demented arse, he’s going to start WW3. He is absolutely mad as a hatter, saying on his social media that anyone reporting Iran’s 10-point proposal is “FAKE NEWS” and going to face investigation when the fucking statement from Iran, shared by the White House, specifically references Iran’s 10-point plan! The only ones deranged here are MAGA; 90% of them support war in Iran, so make of that what you will. I don’t think I could phrase it better than the Spanish government:
”The Government of Spain will not applaud those who set the world on fire just because they show up with a bucket.”

Supporting Trump as he blunderingly destroys the world in order to make himself and his cronies richer is the true derangement syndrome.

Op, do you want to take this to tribunal. I don’t think you do? it’s a long hard and arduous process.

it sounds like completely inept management to me, rather than they were deliberately trying to force you out. What was the reaction when you resigned -please?

on a separate note I can’t beleive a couple of people suggested an affair. Some folks are utterly obsessed.

If this was truly the case, then the manner in which they’ve gone about it is still unprofessional at best, and constructive dismissal and bullying at the worst. So I’m not sure what your point actually is?

I imagine, understandably, she wants to be fairly compensated for being put in an untenable position?

Definitely speak to a lawyer re constructive dismissal as PPs have said.

the hiring someone to your team without involving/telling you is likely a trigger that would be relevant.

from the lawyer/constructive dismissal you are looking for a good amount of compromise money. You are looking for minimum - your notice (three months), all and any benefits that have accrued - bonus, pension everything. Plus at least 3-6 months pay on top (the job market is tough atm). Ideally more as compensation.

you also need any exclusions ie competitors that you can’t work for removed from requirements.

And you need a good reference (you don’t want to be classed as a bad leaver)

Incorrect on both counts. It's about compensation, not just loss of earnings. Only a lawyer can help. And not having a new job in place doesn't affect the outcome. Please seek professional advice OP.

Please talk to a lawyer/ ACAS.

It sounded like a terrible situation. The job market is horrendous at the moment, you might need more than 3 months. The resigning on the spot may have been rash

I have worked in organisations where 'mates' have come in and they haven't really had a clue what they were doing/ no experience in the area. They have completely decimated departments, people have resigned, the area has been restructured to cover up cracks, all to hide this new leader's inadequacies. It makes my blood boil

?? Constructive dismissal

Good grief, you are being managed by ChatGPT.
Sounds like bullying. You need proper support .

You've been screwed over. This isn't uncommon in the workplace as people have no regard for professionalism and hire their own friends and make their own cliques.. This happened to me too and I am sorry for you.

You need to let it go. Reframe the situation as the end of a chapter in your life and the beginning of a new one. Try to focus your energy and excitement on all the good things that may happen in the future rather than dwelling on the past. If you think about the past at all, remind yourself how unhappy it made you, and that you are now free of it. Good luck.

You have been the subject of constructive dismissal.

If you can face the stress of it you could raise a case at an employment tribunal.

But I would check up the law to get the words right and definitely threaten them with it, because i feel from what you have written that your payout should be at least a year's salary, not 3 months.

Didn't you post about this before? You did the right thing resigning. No need to put your health and happiness in the hands of these fuckwits.

Constructive dismissal - then set up a company in competition and take your team. You were managed out unfairly.

@GraceInBloom sounds like you were an absolute asset to this company and any other company will be lucky to have you. You have an amazing work ethic.

I assume you won't be going back into work and are now on paid "gardening leave"?

I'd negotiate your 3 months pay plus your outstanding bonus on the basis you agree not to follow a constructive dismissal claim against them.

Constructive dismissal cases are difficult to win and not many succeed. But sounds like they have lost an amazing employee and will suffer because of their own actions. Eventually the company will come unstuck.

I didn't want to read and run as it sounds like a dreadful situation which you've dealt with dignity. That must have been so hard. Well done for knowing your worth.

As for everybody saying you have a claim, you likely do from what you've described and ACAS is the first step to raising that claim. However, take some time to decide what you actually want. If you want to walk away with the pay you've described - great you've achieved that, do you want to bring a claim which will give you months of uncertainty but maybe a larger pay off. Either way its all stressful and won't let you move on with your future (and grieve for what might have been). I'm sorry you have been treated this way.