AIBU to ask for more than 50/50 split in divorce?

[ThisHazelCritic]

My husband left Sunday evening, things had been rocky for a few years and I couldn't tell him I loved him when asked so he packed some bags and left. I'm 38, he's 48. We've been married 12 years and have no kids.

He earns significantly more than me, 6 figures, about 4 times what I do. House is in both our names and we paid into a joint account so mortgage payments were split. I have around £20k inheritance in a joint savings pot which he transferred half to his own private account the night he left, despite saying if we ever split I'd keep this if I didn't touch his pension which is quite significant. He's also now saying he'll only contact me through a solicitor. We should make around £100k in the house sale. I was happy to split this down the middle, but now he's taken half of the inheritance, I'm wondering if I should push for more? Am I likely to get more considering this was in a joint savings and would still leave me around £60k post divorce....

As someone going through a divorce now you’ll be entitled to 50% of everything including his pension. It’s possible that pension accrued before marriage would be excluded but certainly 50% accrued since you have been married (and most likely since you first lived together if that’s earlier) will be included.

Why wouldn’t you go for that now he’s taken half the inheritance?

Anyway, it actually isn’t entirely up to you and him who gets what….the court has to view it as a reasonable split and they are unlikely to think it’s reasonable if you take no pension.

You need to speak to a solicitor (you can pay £500 for a one off consultation).

You don’t have to go straight to a solicitor. Mediation should be used first and that’s £200 each per session and if the finances are relatively straightforward can be done in 3 sessions.

Case law

Please do not do financial mediation with an abusive cunt.

The court is unlikely to approve the divorce if she doesn’t get any pension so it’s not grabby TBF.

I’m the high earner in my situation (also no kids) and my solicitor was very clear that husband is entitled to 50% of pension since we’ve been living together. It’s part of the marital assets.

I’m sorry but you really need to stop giving out advice if you don’t actually know what you’re talking about.

Again, I am the high earner in my 7 year marriage. No kids. Husband has no pension.

All pension accrued since marriage (and actually often since living together) is considered part of the marital assets pot along with savings, investments and house equity.

OP please, as others have said, get legal advice because clearly people dole out information with great confidence without a clue and you will end up extremely confused and misinformed

No it really isn’t and I cannot seriously believe that someone earning £150k has no savings even if they are bad with money.

He has taken half of her inheritance despite a prior agreement. Fair would be for her to take half of his pension.

You must have missed the part where he removed £10k of her £20k inheritance from a joint account. That counts as “reason”.

Accrued since marriage doesn’t equate to 50% of the pension CETV which is the headline number people are thinking of.

So for clarity, she won’t get 50% of the total pension pot. Experience as a high earner who went through the same process.

It's not greedy. He was prepared to pull a fast one on you by taking the inheritance money.

All prior agreements should be off now. Definately go for professional legal advice too.

Get proper legal advice but my understanding is that;

• your inheritance is not a marital asset so he’s essentially stolen that!
• everything else is part of the marital pot. His pension too.

contribution and conduct don’t make a difference.

He screwed up - and revealed himself- by going for that 10k. You should respond by going for half his pension.

@RoachFish i never says it wasn’t included. But she’s not automatically entitled to 50 % of assets. So yes it will be in the pot but she may well not get 50% ( as there’s no mitigating factor )

so everyone saying op is entitled to 50% of his pension are simply factually incorrect. Op is entitled to a fair share of assets which could in this case be much less than 50% as she’s young, there are no children, op not left workplace to raise children, no career limiting events due to marriage

Absolutely take everything you are entitled to- get advice from a solicitor, not us.

Don’t fanny about on the moral high ground - he didn’t. He’s taken a 50% cut of your inheritance and your deposit, so a fair split of his pension is absolutely on the table.

That said, you might be better off taking a bigger split of assets now in lieu of pension, as he sounds like the sort of make things as awkward as possible for as long as possible .

@Anyahyacinth im well aware of case law

Is 100k all the equity that you have in the house? I'm surprised that with your husband being 48 and earning 6 figures you haven't as a couple paid down more of the mortgage? Are you sure you know the true picture of how much equity you jointly have in your home?

I don't think anyone has been unclear. It's 50% of the marital assets. So even if he's only put £10k a year into pension (including any employer contribution) then that's £120k plus whatever growth achieved in those years is fair game as marital asset. That's substantially more than the £10k he thought he was smart enough to withdraw from the joint savings.

Given that the OP had to pay the majority of the deposit... and helped to pay off some.of his pre-marital debts... I'd be guessing he isn't the best saver

No one said she would.

You claim to be a solicitor, yet you invariably give unfavourable advice to women on these threads. Why are you saying £20k plus 50% equity is "fair" when you know he has a huge pension pot that the OP has a legal claim on?

On the basis that YOU have put considerable lump sums into your joint asset [the house] and it is automatically considered 50:50 after 12 years of marriage then I'd consider his pension fair game.

He may given his earning power, negotiate to take a lessor percentage of the house for a clean break divorce now so you have no further claim on his income in years to come. He'll be worse off for now if there are no significant savings as he will only have the house equity to start again but in the long run, may be better off in his old age.

It would be sensible to work out what percentage of the house you have actually funded / equity entitlement. eg: The house is sold for 100k more than the current mortgage. You have first dibs on your £50k lump sum [in principle - you don't unless you signed an agreement with him]; so you split the remaining £50k in half. You leave with £75k and he leaves with £25k and his pension intact. If you've done your own numbers you can have a sensible tactics conversation with a solicitor.

See a solicitor and move your £10k out of the joint account as he still has access to it. You will both have to declare all assets so you may find he has savings and investments you are unaware of but he doesn't sound like he is a financial wunderkind from your description.

Be wary of going after every last penny you are entitled to. Don't be taken for a ride by your ex but it is not worth burning up solicitors fees by getting too greedy.

I would try to negotiate your original house deposit back in total, and all your inheritance back. Then split the rest, let him keep pension.

If he won't go for it go after the pension.

The more I think about this the more he is a cunt

and I rarely use that term

hes earns £150k

hes taken half of your £20k Inheritance which he said he wouldn’t

so why wouldn’t you take 50% of his savings - aka pension

what is good for the goose is good do the gander

if he hadn’t had taken the £10k I’m sure @ThisHazelCritic would have felt different

Shame you didn’t ring fence the deposit

everyone should when buying a house

sounds like you should get more than 50% of house but no judge will do that

so yes go for his pension

that’s marriage