AIBU to ask for more than 50/50 split in divorce?

[ThisHazelCritic]

My husband left Sunday evening, things had been rocky for a few years and I couldn't tell him I loved him when asked so he packed some bags and left. I'm 38, he's 48. We've been married 12 years and have no kids.

He earns significantly more than me, 6 figures, about 4 times what I do. House is in both our names and we paid into a joint account so mortgage payments were split. I have around £20k inheritance in a joint savings pot which he transferred half to his own private account the night he left, despite saying if we ever split I'd keep this if I didn't touch his pension which is quite significant. He's also now saying he'll only contact me through a solicitor. We should make around £100k in the house sale. I was happy to split this down the middle, but now he's taken half of the inheritance, I'm wondering if I should push for more? Am I likely to get more considering this was in a joint savings and would still leave me around £60k post divorce....

Go for half his pension same as he just did with your money!

And take the other half and put it in your own account

This

It's really grabby to go after his pension when you don't have kids. Unless you've somehow sacrificed your career potential for him somehow (eg relocating for his job opportunities). It might be legal but it's a bit gross.

Having said that him taking your inheritance is awful as well (and very stupid) so I'm not feeling overly sorry for him.

Surprised you've only got 100k equity in the house if he's earning 150k. What on earth have you both been doing with your money? Do you have other significant assets? Has there been massive financial mismanagement by one or both of you?

How is she not entitled to 50/50? The only assets they appear to have are a house which they have been jointly paying towards (so her fair share is 50% of the equity) and her inheritance which was in a joint savings account (her fair share being 50% and he's already swooped his 50% out).

He already helped himself to half of her inheritance.

Go for 50% of the pensions. If he didn’t ring fence the inheritance then sharing pensions is fair. (And might be worth more than the house).

He will be entitled to her pension also.

The values will ultimately be offset against eachother and OP will be the recipient

When I met him he was absolutely terrible with money and had lots of debt that has been cleared over the years. He spends his money like it's going out of fashion.
Once the debt was cleared I received some other inheritance which all went on the deposit of the current house. He didn't contribute to that either. It was bought around 7 years ago.

So he's taken half your most recent inheritance and your last inheritance was used as the whole house deposit. So he is effectively taking half of that too. You need the evidence of that. Inheritance is often treated as a grey area in terms of split. Whereas pension less so.

Go for half his pension. Without any question.

He’s take half the inheritance in bank and paid a hefty deposit from another inheritance and he wants half of that too. Go for the pension. He’s a CF.

If you're saying 50/50, I would include pensions in that unless you’re in Scotland?

Get the best solicitor that you can afford and gather the details of all the major transactions over the lifetime of the relationship.

Who provided the deposit for the house, the extent of his debt when relationship began, income, expenditure, inheritance etc

I wouldn’t ask for the £10k inheritance amount back, it can be demonstrated that despite stating he wouldn’t take the sum he did. Leave it in the mix for now and either get recommendations from anybody you know who is recently divorced or get on the phone and sound them out.

This you will get half of pensions and everything he took your inheritance if he has a big pension and you have a small pension it’s a win for you. Can you buy him out of the house? That can be another win no moving costs etc

Starting point would 50% of everything, including his pension and his savings.

Have I got this right?
He earns more money than you do, and you want more than 50% of the assets? For what reason?

Silly of him to have done that. I honestly don't think you have much choice now. It would look extremely weak to let him take half of both of your inheritances without making any claim on his assets., and you can't afford to show that much weakness/vulnerability. I think you need to get a good solicitor and go for 50/50 on everything. Good luck. There are brighter times ahead.

https://osborneslaw.com/blog/inheritance-and-divorce/#:~:text=In%20England%20and%20Wales%2C%20inheritances%20are%20generally,joint%20account%20and%20spent%20on%20family%20expenses

Id say that as it was in a saving account and you hadnt spent it on anything for the 'family' it would all be considered yours. So yeah, ask for that 10k back on top of the 50% split.

Why should you go after half his pension. It is his pension. Your £10k is nothing to what he will lose. Is this really what some people do? I couldn't live with myself. Even if DH cheated. It is his.

Disagree, go 50 /50 & leave his pension alone.
You don't have kids and can make a 'clean' break from him.
Greedy to go for his pension

Pensions are marital assets. Don’t get married if you don’t want that.

Definitely go for half of his pension. He wasted no time taking half of your inheritance did he?

This money will impact the rest of your life - don’t be stupid about it. Get a good solicitor and put yourself first.

His pension will be worth a lot. Much more than £10,000. I assume he paid for a lot whilst you were together. What about cars? All assets have to go into the pot to be divided. You didn’t keep the inheritance separate. Has he spent all his income? If so, what on? Other savings he hasn’t mentioned? Lots of men do this when they earn a lot more. 50:50 is reasonable but you need to seek a better paid job.

@ThisHazelCritic how much deposit did you put down? He sounds like a financial liability, have you helped him pay off his debts?

It't workplace pensions and private pensions that are included in divorce settlements. It's basically money that has come into the household that the person has put into savings in the form of a pension. Of course it needs to be included as any other savings would be.

Why is greedy?
They were together for 12 years, not 12 minutes.