Neighbours kids keep looking over our fence

[lilybit2025]

As the title suggests. Young girl around 5-6 keeps looking over at our fence. Did it a handful of times yesterday until I turned around and said 'hello can I help you?' And she's doing it again today. It sets our dog off and drives her insane yet she still does it.
I find it incredibly intrusive and I don't know if our neighbours know she's doing it and she's only a child but we do not have children and aren't particularly fond of them either.

I can’t believe people are serious suggesting hosing or firing a water pistol at a small child. What is wrong with you?
I have two little girls next door, I’d be more than happy to have a little chat to them if they popped their heads above the fence.
maybe have a little conversation next time OP then she may get bored of you.
otherwise just ask her parents to tell her to stop. Really not that difficult.

I think you should get a chair, plonk it outside in front of her, and then stare at her until she stops.

Exactly. It’s an invasion of privacy

I’m usually very easily annoyed but this thread is bonkers - would people actually put spikes/prickly plants on the fence or “accidentally” spray a hose at a 5 year old? 😳

Is your dog upset at this child looking at it, or just barking at something new? Surely your neighbours don’t want to listen to a barking dog either so I would use this as a reason, if you are going to approach them. I can’t imagine getting this worked up about a small child looking into my garden tbh. The safety thing isn’t your problem. I’d like to think I might just say hello then get back to whatever I was doing - I imagine she’ll get bored soon enough.

I was going to say YANBU until the last part. I always think people who really dislike children must be so smug they were never children themselves!
She is 5. Get over it!

@Advicefor10 Lol so annoying. I remember viewing a house once in what I think was a very close-knit Council estate. As soon as we went into the garden, their little boys ran outside and were peering through a hole they'd made in the fence for this purpose. Put me off.

Our previous neighbours children were very annoying with this until I started sunbathing in a thong bikini when it was hot and I soon heard their Mum shouting at them not to look.

Is it really just me that being angry at a five-year-old looking into your garden seems mental? I have dogs. They'd probably bark at that, or they might not actually as they're used to kids, but even so. A cat may look at a king.

My neighbours kids do it, way the houses are they technically overlook us even with 6ft fences. I don’t mind for a little bit while they look at my pets. It’s annoying after a bit, but their parents say that’s enough now leave them in peace. Like I said I don’t mind for about 5mins or if I’m chatting to my neighbour but i can sympathise and see how it grates @lilybit2025

I’m sure it’s irritating but she is 5. Talk to her simply and directly, passive aggressive social shaming is unlikely to work.
If that doesn’t work then talk to her parents, pleasantly but clearly.
Don’t spray her with water when she is in her own garden, you are just going to start a feud with your neighbors, likewise spiky plants are going to do anything because it doesn’t sound as though she is coming into your garden.

I'm lucky to have nice neighbours too - I always make sure to take an easter egg at easter and a selection box at christmas for the kids - it's a very small gesture which helps oil the wheels of neighbourlyness - some of these mumsnetters wouldn't give their neighbour as much as a mince pie christmas morning lol!

You sound like a joy

I couldn't get excited about this, she's just a curious child. It isn't modern parenting either- if anything we had more freedom in the past and happily drove our neighbours up the wall.

If it bothers you, speak to the parents. Like all neighbour irritations, be prepared for them to bring up whatever you do that is annoying in return (and bear in mind that frequent dog barking is a potential noise nuisance, whilst children playing is generally classed as normal noise, whether MN likes that or not.)

Why should the OP get a bigger fence. The child needs to learn

The dad will probably start looking in too.

Well it's annoying the dog, so that's a good enough reason. The barking dog will annoy other people.

Really. The child is 5.

Great, perhaps one of them will make a complaint about the OP and her dog. I can almost guarantee the council won't accept 'but it's actually the fault of a five year old' as an excuse.

Speak for yourself. Not everyone was allowed to “happily drive their neighbours up the wall”.
You just weren’t parented well, but you probably don’t realise that.

Just let the dog bark, no big deal.

I can't believe how so many of you are thinking it's fine. Ridiculous.

The dog is in his own garden. It’s only a problem that the girl keeps deliberately peering in; actually climbing onto furniture to do so. Stop her doing that and THEN it’s problem solved.

You remind me of those burglars who try to sue because the homeowner caught them at it and smashed a vase over their head.

OMG, I am struggling to believe that so many Mumsnetters are siding with the OP, and not the child. The child is apparently a little girl of approximately 5 or 6 years old, and all she is doing is looking over her fence, and watching the dog, and the OP too when she is out there as well.

The little girl is not constantly kicking a ball against a wall, or the fence, neither is she running around her garden screaming, so I genuinely don't know what your problem is @lilybit2025?

How about - as you are supposed to be the adult in this scenario - you either train your dog to not bark at the little girl, or you put your dog back indoors when she comes out? Even better, how about taking your dog for a nice walk, where it can use up some of it's boredom by having lots of great new smells to entertain and stimulate it.

The overall picture I have in my mind is: two adjoining gardens, one where a dog is left out in it so that it's boredom doesn't annoy it's grumpy owner, and the other garden where a perhaps - not coping too well with life at the moment - mum, lets her young child outside, in a safe place, but on her own, for too long a time, which will obviously have a negative effect on the little girl, maybe of boredom, and/or loneliness, but hopefully not as severe as neglect?

In your place OP, I would have chatted to the sweet little girl, and told my dog to stop barking, and then I would have tried to get the dog and the little girl to interact together! Oh, and there is no way that a five year old's behaviour at just looking over her garden fence is in anyway rude. I think that the OP is the one being rude here...

Still baffles me how anyone who isn't particularly fond of children decided to log into mumsnet.

It “baffles” you? Does it really?

OP has an issue with a child and needs to address it with the parents. A parenting forum actually feels like a really sensible place to ask for tips.

Well I'm not you, so my parents clearly got something right.