AIBU for not wanting to cancel our holiday for baby shower?

[magicseahorse]

hey

My partner & i booked a long weekend with friends last September and we have now been informed that his eldest daughter is having her baby shower that weekend. It's the first grandchild on his side of the family and I have been "told" that the baby shower is more important than a holiday.

AIBU because I don't want to cancel my holiday? The in-laws help heavily with them (they stay a 3 hours drive away) so the date picked would be suited for his side of the family rather than hers. It was messaged the other night that the date of choice (but it "probably" will be) is 6 weeks away.

Whilst I understand the excitement of the first grandchild, I feel my partner & his family are never considered in dates and I have to drop everything to rush there too.

Was just needing to get this off my chest before there is an argument.

I’m sure I read this post last week?

Your holiday is booked, go on it.

This is a repost

Sounds like your DH is very confused and thinks baby showers are more important than they are. Especially for grandparents.

A 'baby shower' is not a real thing in my opinion.
Imported American rubbish.
Explain you have a holiday booked, offer to take her out to lunch instead

I'm confused - so her husbands family have organised the baby shower . They didn't check the dates with you .
Your busy .husband wants to cancel holiday because he wants to support daughter.
I'd say you'll take her out for afternoon tea and spoil her with xyz .
It's a baby shower ...it's 3 hours max of your life . If it was my dad I'd understand

YABU to be partnered up with someone who thinks it’s okay to leave your friends in the lurch having paid for an expensive holiday abroad. And who has raised a child who makes big decisions about unmissable family events without consulting key family members. Is she insisting that he cancel his holiday and let everyone down, or is it his idea? Either way, it’s bad,

Op a baby shower is nothing to a holiday already booked and paid for. Just tell your dp your not flaky people and it would be rude to bail on friends and planned arrangements just so you can see what gifts have been bought for grandchild it’s more important to be around when the baby arrives in case you need to help them in any way. Of course if the baby shower was on your side of the family I bet it wouldn’t be that important. Entitled princess.

Baby showers are excruciating imo. Holidays are great.

Never been to a baby shower and a man been there

if it was they important to have dad there she should have asked him if he could have done that date

equally surely step daughter must have known about your holiday if booked it months ago

as you are going away with friends I wish I carry on doing that and say you are sorry to be missing it and can you take her out for lunch when you are back

how long have you been with her dad ? Are you likely to get married ?

do you usually get on

Aren't baby showers just an excuse for the parents-to-be to ask for presents?

Don't cancel your nonrefundable holiday, if they really want you there they'll change the date.

Find someone else to go with you. He has to go to the party or YOU will be blamed from now until forever.

I have raised 5 children and have literally never known anyone to have a baby shower. Its a load of chavvy American bollocks, and so cringy. It's as if they think their baby is the first baby anyone has ever had, its so grabby and "faux-celebrity". Along with hen parties that cost the same as a family holiday!! Everyone needs to get over themselves imo. Hope you enjoy your looked-forward to weekend away!

Baby showers are greedy grabbing drama fests. Go on holiday.

I don't think the idea of baby showers is a modern idea...

People always quick to blame the Americans for everything they don't like (see Halloween and Eater Bunny too...)

I would explain that you cant let your friends down when this has been booked and that if he wants to
go to the baby shower he goes alone TBH I find it weird men are going it’s usually a woman only affair with silly games and pretty food

I wouldn't even cancel a holiday for my own baby shower (if someone surprised me) let alone anyone else's

It’s a baby shower & your holiday has been booked for months …. I can’t believe he thinks you should cancel a long ago booked holiday for an afternoon event that they arranged without checking you were free

I would be glad to have a bona fide excuse not to go

This is what I would do

Why have you posted this again?

Here it is from the husband's point of view

LINK

Ditto.
Baby showers/reveals are ridiculous non-events designed to consumerise pregnancy and normalise greed.
No chance I would be changing a holiday for one.

I’d say to him “I get that this is important but the holiday was booked 8 months ago AND we will lose all the money and mess friends about” and see what he says. Ask him what he suggests. If he wants neither of you go, he can reimburse you what you will have lost money-wise. At that point you can suggest you go and he stays home (leave the arrangements in place just in case he decided to go after all). Although it tells me this kind of thing will keep happening @magicseahorse and finding your arrangements are always disposable
is incredibly frustrating!

Your partner needs to say it’s a shame you didn’t check the date with us first, you knew we’d booked a holiday ages ago

I would never cancel my holiday for a bay shower

Its sad to see a father who cares so little about his own daughter. That you think his first grandchild is so unimportant really tells us a lot about how little involvement you've had in his children's lives since your marriage.