AIBU for not wanting to cancel our holiday for baby shower?

[magicseahorse]

hey

My partner & i booked a long weekend with friends last September and we have now been informed that his eldest daughter is having her baby shower that weekend. It's the first grandchild on his side of the family and I have been "told" that the baby shower is more important than a holiday.

AIBU because I don't want to cancel my holiday? The in-laws help heavily with them (they stay a 3 hours drive away) so the date picked would be suited for his side of the family rather than hers. It was messaged the other night that the date of choice (but it "probably" will be) is 6 weeks away.

Whilst I understand the excitement of the first grandchild, I feel my partner & his family are never considered in dates and I have to drop everything to rush there too.

Was just needing to get this off my chest before there is an argument.

They have only given a possible date so what if you cancel the trip and they change the date! On the basis holiday has been booked for months, that there would be no refund and that cancelling impacts the friends you would be going with and the fact that baby showers are grabby and shite I would definitely not be going. If the daughter is at all reasonable and not over indulged and bratty she will accept that not everyone will be able to attend. She’s having a baby which is lovely but to be brutally honest it’s not even born people would rather celebrate an actual born, real living baby they have met.

Controlling arse can make a decision then.

Go on holiday. He can do the baby shower. He can decide if his partner or the baby shower are more important.

He doesn't get to tell you anything.

Men do go to baby showers, I went one once recently where Dad and Uncle went.

Like them or not they are here, and seem increasingly common in the younger generation.

Parents will often choose their Child over their partner .. so in this case the only thing OP needs to work out is what she does when he does that.

Most baby showers I've been to recently have had both men and women. They're a casual get-together - a BBQ in the park or a function room at a cafe. There's no cringey games, just a chance to catch up before life changes for the couple.

Having said that, of course you can't miss your holiday for this. If they wanted you there, they would have checked the date with you. If you have to travel to it, you're better off going at another time when you can spend quality time with the daughter, not at a shower when there will be lots of people and divided attention.

God I can’t believe they’ve escalated to involve men now. I guess more American nonsense; men, gender reveals… Then everyone has to get together again with more gifts when the baby is born. Grabby and self indulgent.

You choose to go on holiday and let him choose what he wants to do. Then there's no real issue by the sounds of it.

Thanks for all your comments. We seem to be on the same page and our holiday is going ahead.

In was really just wanting to have a wee vent about it. Not posted this before - didn’t see a previous post so apologies about that.

I think baby showers and gender reveals are awful and I certainly wouldn’t cancel a holiday to go to one. Come to that I’m not a fan of christenings either (unless parents are genuinely religious)

In all honesty I'd be thankful you've got an excuse not to go. Nobody needs to go to a baby shower.

We as in you and the dad

so he is missing the baby shower