To expect my kids to join me on a short walk?

[AnonymousMum38]

It's a lovely day. I have spent the whole bank holiday weekend redoing my kids' (DS13 and DD10 bedrooms. This morning we went to IKEA for breakfast and picked up the last couple of bits. They're both really happy with the new rooms but have not helped as much as I'd have liked and I'm exhausted.

I wanted to stop for a walk on the way back while the sun was out. I pulled up by a lovely park and said let's go stroll around for 15 minutes to blow the cobwebs away. We've been in all weekend.

My son refused. Point blank refused to get out the car. Baring in mind I had just bought him breakfast, a new desk, a new wardrobe, and new colour changing lights he wanted. Spent 3 full days sorting it all out for him. Plus giving him Easter eggs, Lego and a book yesterday.

I just wanted some time outside with my family. I'm so sorry so fed up with being stuck inside. He says go without him but to me that's not the point, I wanted to spend time with him.

So, AIBU to expect him to come out even if he wasn't really keen?

You’ve just reminded me of my parents dragging me out for walks when I most certainly did not want to. Boring! Love walking now though. Give it 30 years and he’ll probably jump at the chance😃 I get you feel fed up because of all you’ve done but surely you must be able to remember being a teenager! Walking will not be high on his list of fun things to do.

I loathe this ‘go for a walk’ thing that people force upon. Rather sit and read a book, or sit with some peace and quiet. My kids enjoy reading too so we do that as family time. I find walking aimlessly with no point to it so utterly boring. Can you suggest something else instead.

Yanbu its lovely out their today unfortunately teenagers can be selfish little shifts

I can see your side, but also, they are probably really excited about their new rooms and want to get home to organise their new bits and pieces and spend time in their rooms. Maybe try going for a walk later in the afternoon?

Pick your battles OP
I would walk on my own and leave them in the car.

Sorry, this is so frustrating and you’re not being at all unreasonable, I’m sorry. Kids & teens can be so ungrateful. I think in the short term probably it is the right thing to just go without him, especially if your daughter will come with you. It’s not the ideal but at least you still get a walk in the sunshine and you are modelling the behaviour you want to see. Sending strength xxx

I don’t think it’s got anything to do with a walk being boring - the OP is run ragged doing things for her sons and the least they can bloomin well do is go for a walk if that is what she would like doing regardless of whether other posters consider that boring. It’s part of being a family and growing up able to give and take. I do make my kids go on a walk with me (and we do plenty of things that are fun for them too but a walk is what I like to do, not to mention the multiple benefits of getting outdoors). FWIW I also used to hate being dragged on a walk by my mum (but there would have been no question of saying no) but actually look back on them fondly now. Life is far to child centric as it is and it can’t all be based on what they find fun and it isn’t always acceptable for them to just opt out.

Walks are very, very boring.

You sound very transactional.

You see it as a nice walk to blow away cobwebs, they see it as enforced "fun". Leave them in the car next time and enjoy a quiet stroll on your own.

I was also dragged on walks with my parents. I look back and remember how much I hated it. To the point I still hate going for walks now.

I don’t force my kids to do this as well. They get enough exercise in other ways.

YANBU
make sure you do something for yourself later

Sorry but if you want to go for a walk go..but don't emotionally blackmail your kids.
It's lovely you did their rooms, don't be needy, let them enjoy their rooms and you enjoy a peaceful walk.

What a shame for you

Your teenagers are allowed to have their own mind however much you spend on them. YABU.

He’s 13. He’s terrified someone he knows will see him in public with his mum 😃

The 10yo shouldn’t have a choice but the 13yo should.

I would have left them both in the car though tbh.

My DD has ADHD and used to have awful anxiety.
She hated walks but needed exercise and fresh air.
It would be an absolute battle getting her out but it was so worth it afterwards.

Also - I like listening to classical music.
I do not force my children to listen to it as well.
🤣

The 10yo shouldn’t have a choice but the 13yo should

Why is that @Tacohill?

I’d be expecting a lot more gratitude at their ages and that 15 mins of making your mum happy by walking in a bloody park isn’t too much to expect at all.

Absolutely no hope here of a spontaneous walk - everything has to have more notice than that or it just doesn't happen. It's not a battle I'd pick personally. But we've been in the the teenage phase with autism in the mix for some time.

You lost me at "bought him breakfast". It's IKEA, not the feckin' Savoy Grill.

Not everyone is rich buying children a breakfast out is often a treat no matter where it is.

He's a child. If being fed is a condition of doing whatever your mother demands you do, this condition should be stated up front.