AIBU to feel criticised when my partner mocks everything I like?

[happydogwalker]

AIBU to want to watch, listen to or eat what I like?

My partner and I have very different tastes in TV, Film, Music etc, which is ok. We each watch or listen to what we want in different areas of the home. Sometimes we will stumble upon something we mutally like which is great.
The issue for me is if I tell him I am watching something that is not in his taste he makes derogatory comments about it, such as, it is moronic, that kind of thing is made for idiots etc. If he walks into an area where I am playing my music or radio, he will turn it off calling it a pile of S* , or utter Cr** he cant bare to hear. This is a regular occurrence and I feel insulting to me.If what i like is for morons then ergo I am one.
This kind of behaviour also translates to food and our meals.He ridicules my effort to eat organic saying Its all a big con. Yet if i use any convenience food he calls it poison.
I feel that anything that does not align with his likes or preferences is just a target for put downs, insults or negative feedback. He does not accept or embrace any differences.
I am starting to feel a little attacked by his comments. AIBU

Isn't contempt a significant driver in relationship break-ups?

He doesn't like you, @happydogwalker and in my book liking is profound and lasting, as important as love.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/nov/26/how-to-tell-heading-divorce-sex-appreciate-partner-criticism-relationship

It is possible to be autistic and an absolute prick at the same time.

I know very few autistic people who are though.

Shitty men are far more common.

My ex had autism and he was like this (just for the naysayers on the thread!)

But ultimately the why doesn’t matter. This is who he is, it IS tedious and I would break up with him OP. I wish I had done it sooner, he has a flaw you can’t fix.

He will crush you and then look at the broken shell with utter disdain. Its driven by his own feelings of inferiority. He needs to belittle someone to feel better about himself.

He isn't your partner. He's a boyfriend/flatmate at best, an emotionally draining, potentially emotionally abuser at worst.

A partner should be supportive and lift you up, not constantly criticise everything you do or like.

Sounds like you've had enough, so I'd suggest separating and enjoying a peaceful life without this drain in your ear.

Can we stop saying shitty behaviour is because of autism?

It's insulting.

Some people are just twats, autistic or not.

My dad does this to my mum and he's also a verbally abusive man child so YANBU. Their marriage is beyond repair due to years of him disrespecting her in this way. No advice apart from to say you're not imagining he's putting you down.

Why are you putting up with this? What on earth are you getting from being with this nasty bastard?

Why are you with him?

He doesn't seem to like you very much. My husband and I have different tastes too but he doesn't say anything I like is stupid or for idiots. Not nice.

What are you actually getting out of this relationship? He criticises you because it’s a way of controlling you. I hate to break it to you but I doubt that he really loves you, and he doesn’t even like you much. I’d end the relationship and live life on your own terms.

And there it is - the get out of jail free card has been deployed!!!

Your ex was a prick who happened to also be autistic.

Someone will be along soon to tell @happydogwalker not to bother trying to talk to him about how he makes her feel because being autistic means having no empathy.

Is there any reason why you need to keep him in your life? It doesn’t sound like he likes you or really enhances your life.

Meanwhile I bet he’s a pothead who rarely cooks a meal?

Oh I bow to your superiority oh wise one.
Fuck off prick!

This sounds a completely joyless way to live. If he is your partner, you can just split up.

Have you raised the behaviour with him OP?

Just retort that you must indeed be a moron for being in a relationship with him!
This is not a dig at you, OP.

People who think it’s their way or the highway are simply tedious and insufferable.

I’m not one for LTB but I can’t help imagining how much you will enjoy not being with him, even if it’s decades away - in which case, why not do it sooner? He just sounds unpleasant and thick tbh. FWIW I think the same of women who slag off their partners’ interests, which is surprisingly common.

Could not agree more. Most people with autism who aren't pricks will follow a social rule when you give it to them directly and don't want to hurt people's feelings, so saying "it really upsets me when you criticise things I enjoy, so could you say "I don't enjoy this, I'm going to do something else" rather than "this sucks"" should have been enough.

But also, it doesn't matter if he's autistic or not. Autistic adults don't get abusive behaviour accommodated by their romantic partners. And I say that as someone married to an autistic man. OP should raise it with him, ask him to stop, and end the relationship if he doesn't.

What does he bring to the relationship that is good and positive? Because he sounds absolutely awful! DH and I also have different tastes, but we respect each others choices and enjoy dipping in to what each other likes. I would encourage you to reassess the relationship and consider leaving. It’s going to really knock your confidence over time otherwise.

Have you talked to him about this OP?

Sounds like he's unhappy.
The question for you is, are you going to change yr tastes n habits to conform to his ideal of what's more suitable?
If not then... Doubt you'll be able to talk him round to see things your way. Unless you can present to him a reasoned defense as to why you enjoy something, even them hell likely just dig down.
Sorry but in my experience men are rarely impressed by much their partners do.
But often really impressed by mediocre male mates.