AIBU to think my adult life is average rather than privileged?

[Finchell]

Prepared to be told otherwise and of course I know I have had some degree of privilege. As a child I had a good education and opportunities and I accept that is probably classed as ‘privileged.’ But I don’t think that overall my adult life is, I think it’s pretty standard.

Had 50k towards house deposit (everyone I know had had financial support to buy a house)

Gifted 2k to 3k a year (again over birthday and Christmas etc this would seem usual to my friends)

DD has (small) house on trust from grandparents. I only know one other family who haven’t been in a position to make some provision for their grandchildren, not necessarily a house but cash etc

Earnings 71k, again this is of course not a low amount but in terms of household income it’s not a lot these days.

They work hard and save for it you absolute silver spooned person!!!! Why else do you think there are so many people who cannot get on the housing ladder

You can be both average and privileged, if you move in similarly privileged circles. When you compare yourself to people you work with, you're missing out all the people who are not working for a start.

This

Went to a state school in a deprived ex-mining town.

I probably get gifted £50-100 per birthday.

Renting.

Have £12K in a help to buy ISA which I have saved for since I was 19. I feel pretty privileged to have been able to save all that!

I earn £25k a year. Single person.

I’d say my circumstances are average.

You are privileged. And I don’t believe for one minute you have friends from different walks of life. If you did, then you would KNOW you are privileged.

Ignorant and goady thread. Fucking disgusting.

You need to get out more.

OP, why do you struggle to recognise your extreme privilege?

In 2024, only 4% of people earned over £70k. Even without inherited wealth, that means anyone who does is extremely privileged.

I believe the median average gross household income in UK is around £40k. Acute lack of council homes, and inadequate housing benefit to afford private rents while waiting (years) for one, has resulted in record homelessness, including a record number of families with children. Temporary accommodation is hellish.

It’s so important, when extremely privileged, to be conscious that you are.

Come on now. How do you not know you are privilaged.
Do this calculator to get some perspective
https://wid.world/income-comparator/

Aww hope u get the attention u are looking for, poor babe

Its because your friends are in the same socio-economic group, even if you think there is no bias, there is.

I'm in a similar position to you, I inherited my house at age 18 from grandparents , have never had to have a proper 9 to 5 job which gave me time to slowly build up a very successful business.

You connect with others with similar stories, in my case people who have built businesses, they have all sorts of back stories, but age mid 40s are all in similar circumstances.

But trust me, we are very lucky, take a trip down the road and I promise you, you will find people with less than nothing, grafting like mad and still with nothing - and sadly, they outnumber those with privilege by a vast number.

Tbh except the house for the DD I don’t think it’s that privileged to
be honest 50 k and some birthday money your hardly landed gentry! It’s not really life changing and 70k is not that much. Sorry. Seems everyone else here must live on groats. As apparently you’re privileged. Although normal everyone here is blagging about their massive income and wealth.

I think you need to reassess what privileged means, it's about having advantages that you didn't create for yourself, that were bestowed on you by others or by who you are, such as your ethnicity, your class, your place of birth and these then enable you to access better opportunities, chances etc and maximize on the head start or advantage you have over more maligned groups. You do have privilege in that you seem to have a certain amount of generational wealth that many other people do not and you benefitted from (at least) a financially secure childhood with enough support and social capital to access a good education and get yourself a well paid job. Understanding your privilege is understanding many people did not have the foundations,platform chances etc that you had given to you, that doesn't mean you haven't worked hard, haven't been savvy etc but you're blind if you think most people have the life you do, £3k gifts a year is a LOT

Err of course you can. Called living well within your means and saving towards a goal.
I call Bullshit, troll 🧌 whatever

@Finchell Last week one of my friends had a blocked toilet ~ she had to call an emergency plumber out as she only has one toilet. She was charged £160 for it to be fixed.

She was nearly in tears, trying to work out how to juggle her money around to pay the plumbers bill. THAT is what average life looks like . . . .

Read the news? Educate yourself beyond your own personal life experience? If you are genuinely that baffled by many of the responses please take some time to find out about how life is for others. I’ve posted a link earlier re poverty in the UK.

Me and DH paid the whole deposit for our house by ourselves. Our privalige was that we loved with the in-laws to hammer out savings to get the deposit up to enough. Had we not had this we would have had to save for years.

I've never been gifted a holiday. Privalige is having a comfortable holiday a year long haul, or two smaller ones. Average is one holiday abroad a year, but plenty of people don't get away at all.

You definitely have lucky friends OP, I don't know anybody who's been brought a house outright

And now I know who the people are who say "There is no such thing as poor, just lazy"

@Finchell There is lack of personal experience and then there is wilful and frankly offensive avoidance of truth. You utterly disgust me.

www.bigissue.com/news/housing/britains-homelessness-shame-cold-hard-facts/

This is not a meaningful question in a country where a house can cost anything from £70,000 to millions. More meaningful would be to say the majority ie more than 50% of people in the UK are home owners. I'm left wondering what tge kegacy is of your privileged education....

To echo posters (but in a less aggressive way) this post does seem really strangely out of touch.

I went to grammar school, work as a professional etc and I would find it more unusual to come across adults who are gifted money annually from parents/grandparents(?).

I also saved for my house deposit myself, living at home was a good help but otherwise my parents wouldn’t have been able to afford to help.

www.amnesty.org.uk/latest/uk-consciously-cruel-uk-social-security-system-pushing-people-beyond-brink-new/

This thread is utterly astonishing.

Your parents should probably get a refund for your private education if this is the result.

This post has to be a joke ?

Brilliant 👏

where are all the Mumsnet rich and blagging types tonight?. Why is everyone being so rude to the OP it’s not like she is Marie antionette.

I think you’re getting a little bit of a hard time as I think it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking whoever your social circle is is “normal/average” and especially if you mix with even richer people you might feel comparatively less privileged than you realistically are. (I know I can fall into this trap sometimes)

But equally, you have a responsibility to do a bit of reading on these things, read the news, see how other people live, do some volunteering etc and realise how lucky you are. It’s a triangle and there are an awful lot of people really struggling month to month both at the base of the triangle and in the middle.