AIBU to think lazy days are underrated in modern life?

[Alldoomandgloom]

There’s so much pressure in modern life to always be doing something exciting. Holidays, days out and the like. It’s exhausting! AIBU to think that lazy days are underrated?

Would it make more sense to you if it was re-labelled as a 'recharge day'? So doing whatever you need to feel fully rested and recovered? As I said upthread, I plan at least a couple of these days in each week (non-consecutively!) during the school holidays but they aren't always spent lounging about. They are essentially chill out days where everyone is free to watch TV, nap, craft, read, garden, etc etc as they want. The point is there is no pressure or expectation. I often spend these days pottering in the garden or doing smaller DIY jobs at a gentle pace for a good part of the day, and DCs will often play on the climbing frame, go to the park for a bit together or scooter up and down our road at some point. Sometimes a mental rest is needed, sometimes physical, and sometimes both! I were that way inclined, going out for a short run would definitely fit into that (I'm not, I hate running!). It's more about personal space for self care and recharging your batteries, however that is best done for you.

Let’s rebrand ‘lazy’ as ‘gentle and restorative’.

Modern life is (for very many of us) incredibly busy. Children’s lives are often very structured. It is a joy and a blessing to have a day where there is no itinerary. When everyone can rest, potter, suit themselves. Very important for everyone’s well-being to have this sort of balance.

@SkankingWombat

Would it make more sense to you if it was re-labelled as a 'recharge day'? So doing whatever you need to feel fully rested and recovered? As I said upthread, I plan at least a couple of these days in each week (non-consecutively!) during the school holidays but they aren't always spent lounging about. They are essentially chill out days where everyone is free to watch TV, nap, craft, read, garden, etc etc as they want. The point is there is no pressure or expectation.

I do have days like this, in fact most of Easter has been spent like this. And I do feel more chilled after a few days of rest and I do know, rationally, that I need to do this (as does my DD).

But I also feel, at some level, incredibly guilty, and that I am wasting my life. I feel like this all the time, if I'm honest. I feel like a massive failure if I'm not "achieving" something.

A boring day is scrolling on your phone or staring at the TV mindlessly. A lazy day is pottering in the garden, reading, playing a board game with the teens, cooking a nice meal, drinking tea and playing with cat maybe a stroll in the woods.

@Thepeopleversusworkdo you consider taking a shower a waste of time? Or eating a meal? If not, why is that self care different? You need to reframe it as an essential thing to schedule in to make 'achieving' possible and productivity higher the rest of the time. A bit like filling up your car with petrol or taking it in for a service - it isn't the step that gets you directly to your destination, but essential to success none the less. You won't get far running on fumes with flat tyres and the oil all sludgey!

I love a lazy day, being unproductive is a goal in itself for me!😄
I went part time about 17 yrs ago and now have 5 days a week to just potter, read, walk the dogs, do jigsaws, play on my computer, visit the cinema or museums. Sure, I earn absolute peanuts but its worth it for a much less stressful life.
Everybody is different. Some people enjoy being busy, throwing themselves into work or chasing goals....others enjoy watching the world go by.
Frankly unless you are destined to cure cancer or save a busload of nuns then both are valid lifestyle choices!

I don't consider any of these things a "waste of time" in my rational brain. I am just in such a competitive environment all the time that I have been trained to think that any time not working is a waste.

Before you tell me this isn't healthy, I know, its a) the way I was brought up and b) working in a hyper-competitive and cut-throat company where you're constantly one mistake away from being fired.

To be honest though, and this possibly won't go down well but it's true, these threads are always full of people who don't need to work for a living telling people who do that they need to relax more. It's very easy to talk about the risks of burnout when you have the option of stepping away from the pressure.

If you're the breadwinner, avoiding burnout is a bit of a luxury. I know this isn't a sustainable proposition but its my reality now.

Everybody is different. Some people enjoy being busy, throwing themselves into work or chasing goals....others enjoy watching the world go by.
Frankly unless you are destined to cure cancer or save a busload of nuns then both are valid lifestyle choices!

I'm sorry, but working isn't a "lifestyle choice" for many of us: it's what keeps rooves over our children's heads.

I understand what you're saying, which is that not everyone has to be super career oriented. But it's also slightly irritating that on these threads being career oriented is positioned as something people always do for fun.

For some of us it's a necessity and "watching the world go by" is a far off, unachievable dream. I don't mean to be snippy or defensive. But I've lost count of threads where people talk about having a career as if it was something edgy which people do to prove a point. It's life or death if you have to work.

My laziest mornings come about through volunteering (I’m retired at 67) in a local heritage centre. If donors comes along and wants to chat, great, if they don’t I just smile and wait. No drama, no great expectations other than to protect the (largely worthless) exhibits.
But this afternoon, instead of weeding, I’ve sat in the sun and read a book and gave just painted my toenails.
Back to all around effort tomorrow.
That’s the reward for 50 years of hard work (luckily with a good pension).

Absolutely. I mean, working isn’t optional for most of us.

I'm definitely not one of the people who don't need to work! And having been self-employed most of my life, I understand how hard it can be to take down time or stop thinking about work - it's too easy for it to creep into evenings and weekends, just one mistake could lose me a huge chunk of my earnings for that week, and one poor review could see my diary go very quiet. I still see the lazy days as essential, both to my general happiness and well-being and the likelihood of making massive costly errors. Over the years, I've realised that the times I've had spinning plates crashing all around me are the times I haven't taken time out (sometimes it wasn't possible due to circumstances, other times I just neglected it) and eventually hit burnout.
If you're recognising the issue is your feelings overriding your logical thinking and understanding, you can definitely change that to allow yourself time to rest without the guilt or panic - if you were trained to believe that only the time 'on the tools' counts as work, you can retrain to accept that rest is an essential part of the process needed to succeed.

A boring day for me is playing with a cat or playing a board game, a lazy and enjoyable day for me is watching tv

Not really sure why some people seem to see relaxing in the house as lazy

I didnt realiese we were talking about careers...I was thinking more in terms of having a day off and doing nothing as opposed to people who think they have to do something productive with their day or else its a waste.
Obviously people have to work for a living (I also enjoy eating and having a roof over my head!).
Some people are just constantly on the go though. I mean Im sure lots of people this Easter Sunday were excited to make plans and take the kids out somewhere or go visiting relatives. Me, I was just happy to sit in on my own eating chocolate and playing computer games!😆

Not unreasonable at all! Anyone who is Jewish or Christian and actually takes the teachings seriously practices Sabbath in some capacity. Jewish people were commanded to keep the Sabbath by not doing any work. Christians who take the Bible seriously practice Sabbath not so much as a command, but as an act of faith- that we are not the ones who keep everything going, but God is. That if I take a day off each week

This. It isn’t lazy to give your body what it needs. It’s realistic. There is something very wrong with parents who raise their kids to think accepting the biological reality that they need rest is ‘lazy’

I really struggle with doing nothing. I work hard for a few hours finding things to do, then take an hour to lie on the bed and read but even then my m ind is working overtime with things I should be doing. Wish I could be more like my husband and relax without thinking of things to do!!

I don't understand why anyone would say it was unreasonable. Now obviously if you spent every single day watching TV/on screens, that's an issue. But rest is actually very important, and spending time together as a family shouldn't always mean travelling and spending money.

Agree! Just came back from visiting family abroad. I grew up there so I’ve seen all the ‘sights’ as have my uni aged kids. But one of my siblings insisted that we needed to have every day planned with activities - not that she was going to be going to most as she works, but if anyone even mentioned something she was booking it! And she also seemed to think my kids are about 12, booking an event far more suitable for a younger age group. I just wanted a few days to just chill and be with family - even my son celebrated one day when we had zero planned! Not that he then sat around doing nothing - took their dog for an hour long walk, did some gardening, helped with a few chores in the house (so not a lazy day). But not having to be somewhere at X time was more relaxing.
At home I ‘plan’ at least one day a week when I don’t have to ‘do’ anything. I’m 64, I don’t have to work in an office or run around after young kids. My days are mine and sometimes that means staying in jammies all day just pottering.

I have had a few lazy days this week, and I'm kicking myself for not doing them sooner!!

I have ADHD and am always on the go - work, more work, visiting people, gym, swimming, always finding something to do but become burnt out so quickly. I'm off this week (work in education) so have made a conscious effort to switch off - went to the gym/swimming every morning, back home prepped lunch and teas, made a cup of tea and sat down with my kindle - and stayed there for most of the day! Wednesday I spent in the garden in the warm sun, reading. I did do some evening classes at the gym/pool over the week too so not completely lazy days but I honestly feel like a new woman. I've slept better, got up without alarms, woke up refreshed and generally feel healthier. I've spent less time on my phone too and more time buried in a book - I forgot how much I used to enjoy reading. I'm just kicking myself for not doing this sooner - I've spent many a school holiday chasing my own tail, being a people pleaser and trying to do so much. Lazy days are definitely not underrated.

Absolutely nothing wrong with having a lazy day now and again. Our grandkids come here and will often watch tv for a couple of hours then we'll play a game or cards. Nothing rushed or exciting. They have a full on regime during the week. Besides, sometimes being bored can lead to creativity and wanting to do something with their brain or hands. And as grown ups we love days of "being busy doing nothing".....

Oh I love a lazy day! Everyone else in my house makes it near on impossible though. After a morning in the house my DC’s and DP are climbing the walls. I love nothing more than being in the house and pottering about.

Did it turn you into a very energetic adult, always achieving things?

I have been SO LAZY today. I am ashamed to say that my step count is less than 300! I've been in bed and on the sofa all day. I've got a bout of shingles and am feeling run down, and it's been exactly what I needed.

I long for a lazy day but it's very out of reach with a 4 year old and 1 year old