AIBU to think lazy days are underrated in modern life?

[Alldoomandgloom]

There’s so much pressure in modern life to always be doing something exciting. Holidays, days out and the like. It’s exhausting! AIBU to think that lazy days are underrated?

I had a lazy day yesterday, knitted an entire jumper sleeve. That’s not productive?

I rate doing very little very highly. During the pandemic, when life slowed to a halt, I found that boredom was the bedrock of creativity and a more genuine, authentic activity level. Rather than lots of plans in the diary that I may not want to do on the day, I was doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I've kept to that way of living as much as possible. It means I have more time to watch squirrels and such.

Always.
it’s not really lazy day though, I don’t just sit in front of the tv doing nothing.

To me a lazy day is pottering around with no major plans.
Lazy day yesterday with Ds. I did some
gardening, sorting out greenhouse for seedlings, went for a little neighbourhood walk with ds in the sun. Ds was playing in garden, chalking floor etc, in mudkitchen or helping me. We baked some biscuits. Sorted out clothes too small for charity. FaceTimed grandma overseas. General house tidy/ bits kids related stuff. Ds had long bath, we read some
books.
Nothing was scheduled or planned, just sort of happened throughout day.

In theory I like the idea of a lazy day but after a couple of hours I get quite itchy feet and have to do things instead. I don’t know why, my mum was/is the queen of lazy days and every weekend as a kid she was sitting watching telly and leaving my brother and I to make our own fun - I remember being so incredibly bored growing up, no park trips or days out, we lived in a flat growing up so not even a garden to go and play in.
Possibly the reason now why I don’t especially lean into a lazy day, I feel like time is wasted.

Why though?

If someone wants to stay in bed in their PJs all day and eat junk food then that’s up to them.

I know of a paramedic who works long hours, trains at the gym 6 days a week, eats very healthily and has an active social life.
They will literally have an entire day in bed, only moving to go to the bathroom or collect takeaway that’s been delivered.
I see nothing wrong with it at all.

Getting changed and slobbing on the sofa is no different to not getting changed and staying in bed.

From reading the thread I feel there's a definite 'misunderstanding ' of a properly planned day to chill. This isn't about being 'lazy', it's planned down time and really important. It's different to being idle or lazy which intimates a deliberately chosen way of being opposite to what you should be doing.
A planned out day of relaxing is as productive as a planned out day of being productive via doing lots of active things.

My lazy day is a sunday when I dont do any business or student tutoring. If someone wants me urgently my fee is £100 per hour. Unless its a pre-arranged visit to my advantage your chances of getting me to open the door are less than getting an audience with the Pope.

Another one here who loves lazy days. I work hard, so on the rare occasion I have lazy days I absolutely love them. Even a lazy morning will do.

Nothing planned this time for the long bank holiday weekend and no guilt here. We did a few chores yesterday after a lazy morning, going for a walk sometime today, poss with an evening meal out. A few more chores will be done over the next couple of days, friends popping in, but there is no massive sense of urgency and love the relaxed nature of it all.

I agree with PP that many mental health issues seem to occur because we aren’t taking more time out to do nothing and are too busy rushing around, even on so called relaxed days!

Wonder whether competitive posting on social media plays a part in this too?

This is exactly how I feel. A day in bed in pyjamas would make me feel like crying, its so passive and vegetative. You might as well be in a nursing home.

I grew up in a fairly religious household back in the 80s/90s. This meant that Sundays were kept as a 'day of rest', you could go for a short walk or visit a relative, but mostly it was reading books and playing quietly. I quite miss that now, and i agree that most people would see it as a waste of a day.

As kids it taught us to entertain ourselves, and later to develop hobbies and skills. I learnt to draw and paint, my older brother learnt piano and guitar, my middle sister studied to achieve her dream to become a doctor, my elder sister tutored other kids (later became a teacher), and my younger brother taught himself computer coding. We did also spend a lot of time reading comics, climbing trees and building bonfires as well. I always had muddy knees from trying to dig up dinosaurs.

When my DCs were younger, we used to have what they called ‘home days’, sometimes a Sunday or time in the holidays. I remember they would actually look forward to a day of no rushing around to clubs, school, extra curricular or social activities where they could just potter around and play at home. It is important in this busy world that we have time to decompress.

I love a lazy day. Dh is dreadful at it though so then i start to feel guilty.

I’ve come to appreciate them more as I’ve got older, and also have a nicer house. But for pottering is a pleasure, preferably in the garden…. I’ve probably only a handful of times, when well, had a day where I haven’t left the house…

Who does the pressure come from? I am queen of a lazy day and doubly so on bank holiday weekends as can't be bothered with plans because of traffic, queues, people.

I have had a couple of very lazy days lately and they always make me feel very low and... dead inside. I have to intersperse with activity in order to feel good, even if it's just going to a cafe or the library.

I definitely think that doing elaborate days out every weekend is not the way to go either though!

We struggle with quiet days. That's to do with not being able to step out of the mentality of x, y and z still need to be done or if on holiday that a, b and c need to be done because we can't waste the precious time with have. Combined with a lack of distraction to do something instead that's low energy but feels worthwhile.

It's not healthy. It's burnout land.

Love them. I don't understand the guilt people feel. There's no medal waiting to pop on your gravestone for being "productive" 7 days a week I.e. ticking things off a to-do list. And if I'm paying all this money for a house, what's the point if I'm supposed to be out of it 7 days a week?

Agree. Easter - it's a Jungle out there. We will be playing board games, watching football and cooking a nice dinner today. I don't fancy queuing to get into the Lacock NT car park with half of Wiltshire.

They’re a necessity for me. I need days without a demand on me to recharge. My DH knows I need this.

I bloody love a pyjama day and my DC really enjoyed them when they were little.

But what if doing nothing makes you feel more “burnt out” than being active?

Doing very little for hours on end makes me really jumpy and irritable. It makes my brain really agitated.

I don’t mean I have to pack elaborate activities into each day but if I don’t have at minimum a walk or run and some sort of productive activity like cooking, reading or writing I feel physically unwell.

Isnt it possible that some people are just wired differently?

YANBU at all. Yesterday we had the laziest of days for the first time in what feels like years. We played family games all day with the kids and DD said several times what a lovely day she was having and how it was her best day ever.
Really made me think.

I don't see any pressure we have what you call lazy days often because we make a choice to have them

People dont need to keep on using the word pressure to do or not to do something

It is a massive character flaw to not be able to cope with downtime/rest/relaxation and/or manage boredom.
People that always have to be on the go or ‘productive’ and can’t recognise it’s not a good thing also tend to be really obnoxious, condescending, irritating, tedious martyr types.

Its not about a non productive day, it is about doing things you want and in your own time with no pressure. I have had a busy morning cooking but I have enjoyed it and might watch a film later, do some sewing. I am not being lazy but my day is a lazy day as i am not rushing about on other people's timescales or doing things I do not want to.