Page 4 | AIBU to think lazy days are underrated in modern life?

Gardenquestion22 · 04/04/2026 10:52

There’s a difference between having a bit of down time and relaxing as to vegetating….

Charlize43 · 04/04/2026 10:58

It's really important to live each day like it is your last... which is why I spend so much time lying around rolling in and out of consciousness... muttering 'Dry Martini... Negroni... Prosecco'

Original poster

Alldoomandgloom · 04/04/2026 10:58

Createausername1970 · 04/04/2026 09:57

Pottering around in my PJs (as I am now) and eating snacks when I fancy them (just broken into one of my Easter eggs) is part of the joy of a lazy day.

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Absolutely! Essential ingredients for a lazy day in my book!

OP posts:

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 11:00

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 04/04/2026 10:49

Try watching programmes that interest you ?

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The content is irrelevant. Its the act of watching TV. It makes me feel guilty and anxious.

Original poster

Alldoomandgloom · 04/04/2026 11:07

dudsville · 04/04/2026 08:53

I rate doing very little very highly. During the pandemic, when life slowed to a halt, I found that boredom was the bedrock of creativity and a more genuine, authentic activity level. Rather than lots of plans in the diary that I may not want to do on the day, I was doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I've kept to that way of living as much as possible. It means I have more time to watch squirrels and such.

“I rate doing very little very highly” is my new motto 😆

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1000StrawberryLollies · 04/04/2026 11:11

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 10:42

True.

I definitely struggle with guilt because of the way I was brought up. I was made to feel that watching TV was going to rot my brain and make me unsuccessful in life.

I now realise rationally that it was not true but emotionally I still see it as a negative habit so I struggle with the idea that its OK to vegetate.

I do force myself to have down time because I know my body needs it and I ought to be better at it.

But I do think its possible to take it too far in the opposite direction. I do believe that doing very little for days on end and having no sense of purpose makes people dull-witted and listless. There’s data showing that it puts you at greater risk of cognitive decline and depression to do nothing. Doing nothing makes people boring which impacts their ability to build social skills and relationships. So its not a universal positive.

As with all things, its about balance.

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Even if someone pretty regularly had a week of doing very little it wouldn't cause cognitive decline or make them dull and listless though. The fact that you refer to it as 'vegetating' shows how strongly negative your conditioning is about this. It's perfectly possible to be mentally very sharp and be thinking about things at a very high level without actually being busy doing something. I imagine some of history's most remarkable thinkers spent a lot of time doing exactly that.

I'm no amazing intellectual, but I have a tiring and mentally stimulating job. Tbh if I spent all of every school holiday doing virtuallynothing productive, I'm pretty sure it would do me mentally much more good than harm.

Besidemyselfwithworry · 04/04/2026 11:14

Alldoomandgloom · 04/04/2026 07:43

There’s so much pressure in modern life to always be doing something exciting. Holidays, days out and the like. It’s exhausting! AIBU to think that lazy days are underrated?

We’re having a lazy day today - we were out all day yesterday and have people coming tomorrow, other than going to the shop for a couple of bits I’m doing nothing! Kids have stuff to keep them entertained and I’m just going to potter round.
it’s so full on with stuff usually everyone is exhausted 😩

Original poster

Alldoomandgloom · 04/04/2026 11:22

GreenChameleon · 04/04/2026 10:14

I agree OP. There's always so much pressure to do something or go somewhere exciting. We occasionally spend the school holidays at home, the kids play Lego, we go to the playground, have lunch at the pub, go for a walk along the canal, read a lot, etc. We don't see friends during those days because they've all gone away somewhere. For them, a school holiday at home is a wasted holiday, it's a bit like failing at enjoying life, and some will look at us like we're mad when we say we've had a good time.

Sounds lovely!

I think I am appreciating the beauty of a lazy day this weekend because we usually go away for Easter weekend, but haven’t this time. It’s just been so relaxing being on our own schedule. The DC played with their cousins yesterday, but other than that, we have no firm plans and are just pottering about and having far more screen time than recommended by the experts, but everyone is happy so I’m embracing it.

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MewithME · 04/04/2026 11:26

I'm not sure we should label days like this as lazy. When I think back to my childhood, we had days out but they weren't every weekend or too frequent. If I remember my downtime as a kid, it was doing all these things and it was normal.

Playing instruments, drawing, walking the dog, reading, hanging out with friends, baking... But all just what you fancied doing without structured, planned time organised by anyone else.

I think life has become exceedingly busy.

I now have a chronic illness and can't do anywhere near my old level of activity but it does give a particular perspective. I look at what friends fit in and it seems exhausting. No time to just be. Must constantly do.

At least two of my friends struggle with anxiety and may have undiagnosed ADHD or autism or both I think, but they get depressed and anxious if not busy with planned activities and a hectic social calendar but then also end up burnt out.

Phones are society's downfall.. scattered attention span and social media FOMO.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 04/04/2026 12:01

I agree @MewithMEwe should not label these days as lazy and just for having a day at home without being structured or planned. It’s important to just be and not always feeling like we have to live life like an Instagram post.

LadyVioletBridgerton · 04/04/2026 12:12

When DH says that he wants to be ‘doing something’, I say that we are ‘doing something’…we’re chilling out. That being said, as we’re not going on holiday over Easter, we’ve compromised with 4 day trips and 6 lazy days during our time off.

LittleRobins · 04/04/2026 12:26

I have two SEN toddlers. I’d do pretty much anything for a lazy day. Hell, I’d even take a lazy hour! Please take all the time to be lazy that you want. I wish I’d appreciated it more before I had kids

Melonmango70 · 04/04/2026 13:17

Alldoomandgloom · 04/04/2026 11:22

Sounds lovely!

I think I am appreciating the beauty of a lazy day this weekend because we usually go away for Easter weekend, but haven’t this time. It’s just been so relaxing being on our own schedule. The DC played with their cousins yesterday, but other than that, we have no firm plans and are just pottering about and having far more screen time than recommended by the experts, but everyone is happy so I’m embracing it.

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I live in a very small seaside resort and went for a beach walk and bakery run, and saw lots of very unhappy children (and parents!) battling against the wind on a bracing walk along the seafront, but I have no doubt that when they all get back to their caravan or whatever, and when they can all relax, the kids can play out in the intermittent sunshine, they will love it, or at the very least, it will be a bonding memory ("Remember that Easter at XXXX place - urgh!") The sun is coming and going, and I'm home alone today/tonight for the first time in ages, so I am buying myself treats and putting my feet up, and my favourite cushion from the now defunct Past Times (my favourite shop ever!) which reads "The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time". And that's that! Happy Easter! :-D x

doitwithlove · 04/04/2026 13:26

I woke at 9.20am having had 11hrs of sleep, my laziness has continued. Absolutely love days like this on my own, once off mumsnet I will be catching up on TV.

Jellycatspyjamas · 04/04/2026 13:28

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 09:51

But what if doing nothing makes you feel more “burnt out” than being active?

Doing very little for hours on end makes me really jumpy and irritable. It makes my brain really agitated.

I don’t mean I have to pack elaborate activities into each day but if I don’t have at minimum a walk or run and some sort of productive activity like cooking, reading or writing I feel physically unwell.

Isnt it possible that some people are just wired differently?

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I don’t think a lazy day is about doing nothing though. I’m having a lazy day today - I had a quiet coffee while the house was quiet, have read some of my book and have dough proving to make hot cross buns. It’s been a morning of doing things I enjoy rather than things I have to do. And a slow start.

This afternoon we’ll take the dog out for a walk and I’ll make an easy dinner. The “lazy” bit is not having anything planned, nowhere I need to be and nothing I need to do not literally moving from bed to sofa and back again- although if that’s your vibe, fair play to you.

Swiftie1878 · 04/04/2026 13:39

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 07:49

I wish I felt like this in some ways but I can’t. I find being lazy more stressful than anything in a busy day.

I can’t sit in front of the TV or be on my phone without wanting to cry with boredom.

You should perhaps get help with this. That’s not normal or healthy.

1000StrawberryLollies · 04/04/2026 13:44

I don’t mean I have to pack elaborate activities into each day but if I don’t have at minimum a walk or run and some sort of productive activity like cooking, reading or writing I feel physically unwell.

This seems really extreme. Preferring to be active all the time - fair enough. Feeling physically unwell if you are inactive for a day - very unusual and not normal at all. It's surely not possible for a day of inactivity to cause physical illness, so it must be psychosomatic?

ObelixtheGaul · 04/04/2026 13:46

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 10:15

Seriously?

Not trying to be goady but asking as a genuine question: what if you are not wired like this?

I like to be productive. I feel stressed and anxious beyond a certain point if I am not achieving anything. I accept that this may be unusual or even pathological but “obnoxious”?

Why is it acceptable to be low agency/low energy in your approach to life and not to be high agency?

I feel like this is part of who I am. Surely you need both types of people in this world and if everyone who was busy/capable was sneered at as “obnoxious” we would struggle to get much done?

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Might have something to do with you thinking that those of us who can do very little for a day or two aren't 'busy/capable'. I am more than 'capable' of being busy. So far in my fortnight off for Easter, I have painted the kitchen (which didn't take as long as I thought it would) and done some spring deep cleaning. Today I am doing bugger all. Because I can absolutely be busy and capable at the same time as being able to spend a whole day reading a book.

Crunchymum · 04/04/2026 13:57

In the cold, dark winter months I try to make sure we have one weekend day earmarked as a lazy / low key day.

We all get dressed, there will be some homework and light chores involved for the kids but generally it's time to rest and recharge. No screens allowed either!! I tend to use the time to get chores done so no lazy day as such for me, although it's always nice to not have to be doing something at a scheduled time.

Kids are out the house 8am - 6pm x4 days per week and have various clubs and activities. All 3 DC have an activity on Saturday as well so I've always tried to instill 'a day of rest' in the crappy weather as part of our busy lives.

Sometimes it won't be a whole day as we'll end up with plans and once the weather gets nicer we're out everyday.

superchick · 04/04/2026 13:57

I hardly get any whole days to myself without plans but I love them. Yesterday was spent in bed aside from a shower, making toast and putting away a bit of laundry. I have days like this about twice a year when the DC happen to be with their dad on a bank holiday and I don't have to run errands, do housework etc. Obviously that level of inactivity is not something I would do often but I really feel better for it today.

JMSA · 04/04/2026 13:59

I love them. I work very, very hard and I deserve them. If I have too much on, socially I mean, then I get overwhelmed. Lazy days save me ☺️

aCatCalledFawkes · 04/04/2026 14:03

I loved it when my kids were younger and we had duvet days. Duvets down stairs, pjs and some sort of film on TV for a Sunday afternoon. And then it it went mental sport wise.

Now my nearly 19yr old is working 7 days a week before she starts uni in September and my nearly 15yr old would die if I suggested he bring his duvet down and we watch a film together as he could just do it upstairs

FrankSinatraonToast · 04/04/2026 14:04

When I was working, I rarely had lazy days as I thought I should be using my days off to do something productive otherwise they would be 'wasted'( obviously I was an idiot thinking this). Now I've retired, every day can be a lazy day if I want and I love it.

Jellycatspyjamas · 04/04/2026 14:07

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 10:15

Seriously?

Not trying to be goady but asking as a genuine question: what if you are not wired like this?

I like to be productive. I feel stressed and anxious beyond a certain point if I am not achieving anything. I accept that this may be unusual or even pathological but “obnoxious”?

Why is it acceptable to be low agency/low energy in your approach to life and not to be high agency?

I feel like this is part of who I am. Surely you need both types of people in this world and if everyone who was busy/capable was sneered at as “obnoxious” we would struggle to get much done?

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I don’t think having a quiet day means low agency or indeed low energy. It’s time to recharge the batteries, enjoy some low key activities and rest. I need that because the rest of the week is busy, it’s nice to take time to do things you enjoy whatever that may be. It says absolutely nothing about the level of agency or capability you have in your own life.

CocoJone · 04/04/2026 14:58

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/04/2026 10:15

Seriously?

Not trying to be goady but asking as a genuine question: what if you are not wired like this?

I like to be productive. I feel stressed and anxious beyond a certain point if I am not achieving anything. I accept that this may be unusual or even pathological but “obnoxious”?

Why is it acceptable to be low agency/low energy in your approach to life and not to be high agency?

I feel like this is part of who I am. Surely you need both types of people in this world and if everyone who was busy/capable was sneered at as “obnoxious” we would struggle to get much done?

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It’s not obnoxious to simply be different….its the attitude that some people like you have that goes alongside it. Look back on your posts and look at all the words you’ve used to describe what is basically people resting and relaxation.