Adult daughter cannot have an Easter egg because she needs to lose weight.

[Motheroffive999]

Daughters mother in law bought Easter eggs for her son and each of the children , but not for my daughter, because she needs to lose weight. Her mother in law told the oldest Grandchild this in confidence , who then told me.
My daughter is not overweight by much , maybe a stone.
I am absolutely fuming .
Should I say something ?

I agree with this, it’s probably the main reason why the OP’s SIL is so annoyed about it. It really isn’t on for the MIL to talk to the child about Mum’s weight. Even worse, to swear the said child to secrecy about it. Just why would she do that?

I don’t really think Easter eggs are the main point here.

Yes! She's being f'ing rude!!!!

You need to tell your son in law. It's quite bad enough the MiL saying it however to say it to a child given all about weight issues etc with children your SiL needs to be having serious words with his mother. You need to tell him why too as he probably won't think.

You don't talk to a child like that about someone weight. It's disgusting. Even more so when it's her mom

What a horrible woman and to actually say that to your grandchild. I'd be fuming. She's not the type of woman I would want around my child.

My mum used to refuse chocolate treats for this reason. I don't agree personally, but it's her choice, she found that even a bit of chocolate did affect her and just didn't want them, so told people not to buy them. If the person you're talking about has said similar, it's her decision.

Why would you say something if your daughter's an adult? Just tell her to tell the mother in law in that case she won't be getting any Christmas or birthday presents because she needs to learn manners. Simple as that.

Do not forget it and let it go by. That is terrible advice. This woman will only get worse over time because she got away with it. She set her own grandchild into an adversarial position against her own mother via criticism. This horrific human undermined your granddaughter's perception of her mom. UNACCEPTABLE under any circumstance. It's not a little thing, it's definitely not harmless; girl's self-confidence is formed early and repetitively as being like their mother. She harmed your grandchild. That is why your granddaughter spoke to you. The child knew it was wrong, how is it that you don't?

Tell both the husband and your daughter at the same time. The child would not have told you if the child had not been impacted in a very bad way by this comment. This child went to you for assistance. She told a responsible adult. You now have that responsibility, do not let her down. How many times would you allow that woman to whisper disparaging things about your daughter to your your grandchild. The only correct answer is once. PERIOD.

If you do not step up and say something to the parents then that woman will keep setting the grandchildren against their own mother over the course of her lifetime because she is getting away with it. Say something immediately. What that woman did to a child was unconscionable.

How passive aggressive -is the MIL a supermodel or something?! Is she a paragon of virtue? People in glass houses and all that....!

Id repay the compliment Christmas if I was your daughter. Buy MIL bubble bath and shampoo, and say thought you may need a bath and wash your hair. See how she likes it

Just ordered a lovely egg for my mum. My line manager gave me a mini eggs egg before we broke up for Easter. I don’t eat chocolate so my Dh benefitted. I see no reason why adults can’t get Easter eggs? My mum also got an advent calendar, she thoroughly enjoyed a little treat every day, in her words.

This ☝🏻
Mind your own business.

Reassure your granddaughter but otherwise stay out of it. As someone else said, your daughter might have said not to get her an egg cos she is watching her weight. But it was all kinds of wrong of her mil to say this to her granddaughter.

Why would you expect your daughter’s MIL to buy her a chocolate egg ? Buying one for her son is a bit odd too.
I have always assumed partners might buy an egg but not a MIL. Chocolates more appropriate.

Do not get involved. If anything you have learnt your grandchild has snitched on her other granny. So she might do the same to you.

It may go deeper than that. The egg may have been weaponised. There are clearly issues. She sounds like she may be very devisive and manipulative. Key is what daughter thinks of it all and how her mil's actions were perceived. I'd thank her for her sensitivity to disarm your own feelings.

Don’t get involved. But remind your daughter when the time comes that she doesn’t have to look after her MIL as it’s not her job.

Not your fight, unfortunately, her husband needs to speak up. All you can do is support her. You’re right to be fuming, though.

Just do yourself a favour and keep out of this one. Presume you've bought her one anyway.

It’s the talking to the kids that would be the main issue for me - not on

Unless you want to be the trouble maker, stay out of it. Your son in law is a keeper and sounds like he has it handled.

Wow!
Regardless of whether your daughter told her she intends to lose weight, doesn’t want an egg etc the comment to the grandchild is toxic and damaging.
This kind of thing can have a lasting impact on body image and relationship with food

exactly this!!

That's v thoughful.....but as someone who has gone through periods of eating "clean" I also try to stay away from toxic toiletries and perfume (chemicals).... it's difficult for people to buy me gifts 🤦🏻‍♀️

Yes! Why are you even asking?!