Adult daughter cannot have an Easter egg because she needs to lose weight.

[Motheroffive999]

Daughters mother in law bought Easter eggs for her son and each of the children , but not for my daughter, because she needs to lose weight. Her mother in law told the oldest Grandchild this in confidence , who then told me.
My daughter is not overweight by much , maybe a stone.
I am absolutely fuming .
Should I say something ?

So, has the MIL got form for being rude or insensitive? - is this likely to be an unsolicited attempt to police someone else's weight?

OR...I'm wondering if your daughter told her she didn't want an Easter egg - she may not actually be very overweight but perhaps she has an issue with it herself which she's mentioned to her MIL. I probably wouldn't buy chocolate for someone I knew was trying to lose weight. Although I'd get something else for her I think.

Wow so glad not to have a parent like you. Id raise hell with the MIL, defend your daughter!!!!

I’m not really for people telling other people what they “should “ do. Fine if you’re their medical practitioner etc but none of your business if you’re a friend or relative.

Even when people are trying to lose weight they’re still allowed the odd treat.

And when you say you’re not for body positivity does that mean you think bigger people shouldn’t feel good about themselves?

have you not brought your child up to manage their own fights or do they need their mammy to do it for them

They aren’t little children anymore and it’s not the playground.

raise your kids to be competent adults

Not really only the OP is fuming. And thats just to us.

Your DD's MIL is a bitch. But your daughter is an adult, I'd be surprised if she were upset at not getting an Easter egg and surprised if she doesn't already know that her MIL is a piece of work. Have the eggs been handed out? What did MIL say to your DD at the time?
If she said something rude, then I hope your SIL or DD highlighted her rudeness and behaved graciously. If she didn't say anything at all then I expect your DD just quietly clocked the snub.
I would let your SIL know what was said to your granddaughter. The MIL should not be encouraging her to keep secrets or sharing information with her and telling her to keep it a secret from her parents (other than a surprise present or party!). And should not be commenting negatively about her DIL's weight or equating food choices as wholly good or bad, only as part of balanced and healthy nutrition.

So do you go round telling people that you think are overweight that they are fat and shouldn't be eating chocolates, cakes, biscuits etc?

It's not her MIL's place to police her DIL's diet and it certainly isn't her place to tell her DIL's daughter that her mum needs to lose weight.

Isn’t ridiculous at all. Traditions are lovely.

I think her partner or husband or t should speak to the MIL. If she is going to make negative comments about her to her chikdren, then she should be told that continues she won't have access or unsupervised access.

Yes my Grandchild told me when I took Easter eggs over and gave my daughter and husband a huge egg each.
Son in law is going round there to tell her that nobody talks about his wife like that and not to discuss things like that with her Grandchildren.

It seems it's covered! I know as a Mum I'd be fit to kill but your SIL has it under control. The only thing you need to do as a Mum here is maybe buy another Easter Egg for your DD to make up for it and give it to her with a bucket load of reassurance.

Make sure you buy your daughter a HUGE egg and not your SIL, not as a dig at him but it will even things up!
your daughter shouldn’t feel bullied into losing weight, she’ll lose it when she’s ready!
FYI I’ve lost 5.5st in the last year, using skinny jabs, still injecting but slowly weaning off and I’m on my third Easter egg!

Oh yes! With a manual too 😱🤣

If that was the case surely she'd also have asked her mum not to buy her one too?

Maybe she is fine having one from her mum but doesn’t want to overdo it with lots of chocolate eggs from different people?

I am only guessing. For example I know my mum will give me one whatever I say so I will have one from her, but I told my friend not to get me one this year as I’m trying to cut down on chocolate.

It's more likely DD has told her MIL she's off chocolate, so MIL has taken her at her word and tried to do the right thing, rather than specifically said she doesn't want an Easter Egg (which would be presumptuous).

Monster In Law More like!! 🤬🤬 You should definitely say something for the sake of your daughter -

to have said that to the eldest grandchild is a fucking disgrace. She could have bought her DIL a fucking body shop Easter egg or flowers or anything.

How would that be safeguarding?

I think the worst thing of all is that she put this on eldest grandchild - what an awful thing to do!

Sounds like she wanted attention in not giving your dd an Easter egg, was upset she didn’t get it, and so brought it up with the granddaughter to try to fan some flames.

Horrible thing of her to do all around!

We don’t do adult Easter eggs in my
family (except I’ve got one for brother and SIL as going to their house for Easter lunch and he doesn’t drink). But I would think very dimly of anyone who brought one for one half of a couple and not the other and was pointed about it only being for one of them!

I’d be mortified if my mum lost it with someone over them not buying me an Easter egg because at worst they thought I should be on a diet. A grown adult should be able to handle such a situation without involving their mum surely?.

The worst thing about this is the fact MIL said this to her grandchild about the child's mother in confidence. So making judgements on someone's weight to a child and also asking them not to say anything 😯

Also amazed that this isn't the concern of most of the people on this thread. Sounds like that is a concern of your DSIL and I think he's probably best placed to deal with toxic behaviour from his DM. You can be a sympathetic ear for any more direct annoyances your DD may have in the future having got the measure of her.

If this had happened in our family I think my DH would have made out like the adult one was to share.

My gosh, your poor daughter. She has herself a monster in law.

Buy your daughter her most favorite chocolate and gift it to her. Her husband needs to have strong words with is mum though and you should warn your daughter to keep her distance from that MIL.

I didn’t take about being aggressive or going in all guns blazing. It is possible to be assertive and stand up for a family member in a measured way. I never like the doubting of children- it would be a weird thing for a kid to make up.