AIBU to hope this heartbreaking story is a catalyst for change?

[homemadecarrotsoup]

I hope this awful story underlines the need for specialist support for parents with disabled children. I work in a special school and have seen the struggles may parent face when it’s school holidays.

https://www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/nyla-bradshaw-no-suspicious-circumstances-say-police-amid-childminder-claims-6534937 www.doncasterfreepress.co.uk/news/people/nyla-bradshaw-no-suspicious-circumstances-say-police-amid-childminder-claims-6534937]]]]

Poor little girl and her family. And the childminder who I am sure is distraught. Just a really awful story and there are no winners or villains in it.

From the article it seems that her own house had to be fitted with 6ft fences and electronic locks to stop her escaping so I think it's probable that the childminder setting wasn't suitable and they just weren't equipped to deal with a child with such high needs. A child who is normally at a special school, presumably with a lot of staff suddenly going to a new setting with a childminder who doesn't know her and other children being looked after is unfair all round.

You have a combination of a parent who desparately needs childcare and a childminder who perhaps wasn't aware of how great the child's needs were and it's a recipe for disaster.

@JustAnotherWhinger it isn’t. It’s others who keep replying with torches and pitchforks and I don’t see it that way.

You have a combination of a parent who desparately needs childcare and a childminder who perhaps wasn't aware of how great the child's needs were and it's a recipe for disaster

This is how I see it as well.

The only change coming about for parents of disabled children are cuts to the EHCP process, cuts to physiotherapy, special school shortage, cuts proposed to council budgets for school transport for children exactly like this child..,, and half the country applauding the changes because “bad parenting” or “anxiety/teach resilience “. I know because I have a severely disabled child.

OP if you are discussing a case with inside knowledge you should be careful- defamation and libel are thoughts that spring to mind.. especially if THIS thread ever got into the press.

But given that we simply don’t know the details, all we can conclude is that a child died because of some serious failures in communication about the child’s needs and exactly what stringent measures were needed to keep the child safe.

Dont talk stupid. A child was in care of the childminder and died. Its 100% HER FAULT.
Its very clear you have connections to the childminder which is why you keep defending the women who let a child die in her care.

No connection at all, I can assure you.

I don’t know if there were instructions she didn’t follow.

These are your actual words OP ^^

Have you forgotten them already?

Fortunately, there is a multi agency investigation going on, which will hopefully lead to better options for disabled children, rather then burning the childminder at the stake.

Maybe schools for severe SEND should be open throughout the year... not for lessons, but as holiday clubs with properly trained care workers.

@TMFF no. I’m not sounding difficult here but genuinely don’t know what you’re getting at there.

Ideally this would be what happens as a result.

I really hope so.

So 'I know some additional information' was bollocks then?

You are posting in bad faith.

No. I’m still lost.

So the ‘additional’ information I know is that the childminder told the mother she was out a lot with the children. That’s in the public domain but I don’t want to link to it because it’s via a fundraising for charity which I have donated to. I know the parents’ names are in the press but I still feel uneasy linking to something with their full names on which I’m sure you can understand.

However, it IS possible the mother said something like ‘she must be on reins if you go out with her’ or ‘you can’t go to X place’ or ‘she can’t go near Y.’ I’ve no way of knowing that. I’m not claiming anyone is blameless or that things couldn’t have been done differently.

What I am saying is that the situation came about because of lack of viable alternatives and it’s that I’d like to see change.

I am absolutely not posting in bad faith. If I was inclined to do so, I would never, ever use a tragedy involving a seven year old to do so.

I presume the additional information mentioned here is the screenshots of messages posted on the parents Facebook page between themselves and the childminder prior to the little girl being placed in her care.

How do you know additional information but has no connection to the case?

If it was something like the mum told the childminder she had to stay inside the house and the childminder said, ‘I can’t do that, no’ but the mum left the child there anyway, then that’s a bit different. I haven’t read anything about the case though.

I can’t imagine any changes to childcare for pupils with SEN will be coming though it’s expensive and no government seems to want to spend any money on it.

And what if the childminder didn't take her out and she escaped from the house?

It doesn't actually say that the childminder took her out. People are just making assumptions.

As others have said, there are a lot of missing details.

It’s on a fundraiser. That’s where I saw it.

Changes won't come about as a result of this child's death @homemadecarrotsoup

The provision for SEN children is scarce during holidays. Parents often have little choice. Many don't work, or have term time only jobs, as there is so little appropriate childcare.

The councils/companies don't offer SEN spaces, as they cost too much to staff. The families I work with get a PA budget if they've fought really really hard for it. That way, the family get some childcare 1:1. Often though, this is only up to 10 hours a week.

Caring for a SEN child is expensive. That's the reality.

And finding a suitable childminder with availability for a non verbal 7 year old is hard. Finding them on FB? Probably not the best decision tbh.

It was an unrealistic and unreasonable instruction though. There must have been some misunderstanding somewhere because no childminder would knowingly place a child in danger like this.

OP - what is the charge that you think needs to happen?

I’ve just read the story on the BBC news site.
The childminder was told not to take her out. She was told she was a flight risk and was told that her family use reigns when taking her out.

The childminder chose not to listen to listen and follow the parents instructions. She has to accept some of the responsibility for the child’s death.

And to those judging the parents for “picking a childminder off FB”. How do people find childminders these days? They ask for recommendations from other parents, they can then check the credentials (this one was OFSTED registered). FB was just the resource they used to connect with other parents in a similar situation. It’s completely normal and acceptable.

I think the point is that there is a real lack of childcare for children with high needs. The childminder wasn't a suitable place and shouldn't have agreed to take her. None of us know exactly how the conversations went and what information was shared. Maybe the childminder felt ir would be discrimination if she said no? For sure there needs to be suitable wraparound and holiday care for children with high needs and this should be where we direct our energy and campaigns.

My daughter is/was non verbal around this age too. If the childminder agreed not to take the child out then she should not have taken her out without telling the parent first. If I had a call saying ‘I am taking the children to the park’ then I would have gone and collected my dd because it wouldn’t be safe for my dd to go out unless she had 1:1 care.

Being a patently to a disabled child a hard. It’s near impossible to work, especially during school holidays, the government doesn’t give extra money for SEN child care and there are not many SEN child care settings/minders, so we either have to give up working or we risk putting them into childcare that isn’t safe. It gets worse as they get older because there’s no child care at all for older teens because a teen without disabilities would be able to care for themselves. My dd is now 20 and still needs constant supervision. More needs to be out in place to support parents with disabled children that want/have to work.

She trusted the child minder not to take her daughter out. If they couldn’t stick to that then they should have said so her mum could have looked for an alternative arrangement. Most children with SEN’s need 1:1 or even 2:1 to keep them safe, if the child minder had other children to watch then how was she supposed to keep the disabled child safe?

Do you have any respect for the parents grieving their child?

It’s a weird take to say that the childminder underestimated the child’s needs and isn’t a nanny.

Are you suggesting that childminder’s are untrained or uneducated about safeguarding? That is quite offensive. Isn’t a huge part of childcare jobs about safeguarding and risk assessment?

I am not here to blame the childminder - not enough information to discuss that.

I am calling you on your lack of empathy for a family who have lost a child and no doubt are wondering how and why this happened. Their grief is foremost in my mind.