DD aged 10 needs root canal

[DDtooth]

I’m really upset right now and wondering if anyone can advise? My dentist can’t see us till Thursday next week. DD had pain in her upper back tooth and when I looked at tooth I can see a big hole. Called usual dentist and the receptionist who’s very rude and unhelpful said no appointment till next week Thursday. I contacted NHS 111 who gave us an emergency appointment. They couldn’t do much and have put a temporary filling in tooth which should last till I see usual dentist. She told me DD may have to have root canal.

i feel so guilty because I haven’t been strong enough. My MIL gives DD sweets, fizzy drinks and unhealthy stuff every time we see them (2x a week) for first 5 years of her life she would see DD everyday and ply her with unhealthy stuff, even giving her spoonfuls of sugar! Every time I told MIL not to she would scream in my face and start crying (Mil not dd!) and telling her she did this with her kids and they turned out fine. And questioning why I’m like this

DH never once stood up to MIL. We are of a culture where I’m supposed to “respect” MIL and basically just put up with her shit. I’ve limited DD only seeing her once or twice a week max now. MIL has diabetes so you would imagine she would understand how bad sugar is. DH just tells me to stop it and she doesn’t give her anything which is a complete lie and is evident from DD’s teeth. I limit sweets and chocolates in the house and she never has fizzy drinks in our home.

sorry for rant but I have no one I can be this honest with. Is this as bad as I’m thinking? I’ve told DD if grandma offers her unhealthy stuff just to refuse from now on but I know it will be hard for her. I just don’t understand what benefits MIL thinks giving DD all this sugar is.

You mostly mention your MIL. but, what is her oral hygiene like? Is she properly brushing and flossing her teeth several times a day?

Is it a permanent tooth?
To be honest at 10, even if it is the best option is probably extraction. Molar root canal on a 10 year old is a bonkers treatment plan.

She wouldn't see her. If she can't respect how you parent, she doesn't see her alone. If she screamed in my face, I'd literally punch her. I'm sorry but no. Get out of my face before I give you something to fucking scream about.

Who brushes and flosses several times a day?!

She brushes 2x a day yes. It is the back tooth so would extraction be better? I wish I could punch MIL in face I definitely imagine doing it every time I see her face.

Sorry yes it’s a permanent tooth / adult tooth I mean .

I had a root canal same age (for v different reasons) and my tooth lasted until my late 20s. It's it a fair bit of dental work. It might be worthwhile to keep it until she's fully grown at least for spacing.

Do you remember much about it like did it hurt? I don’t even know if she would be out under GA or anything.

I would be livid.

You probably already know.

But I would say it's drinks you should be very careful of.

So avoid fizzy drinks.

Fruits juices.

Pure fruit juices- so stuff like fresh orange juice.

And drinks like capri sun. Fruit shoots. And woth that type of top where kids just take a small sip every so often. Better a glass of drink rather than carrying a bottle where they are sipping every few minutes.

Flavoured fruit drinks- e.g. radnor- bottle that they take a sip out of everyone few mins. Very bad for teeth.

Better if they finish their drink than take sips over a few hours.

Does she brush her teeth properly with an electric toothbrush? Is she eating after brushing her teeth? Is she eating loads of dried fruit?
i don’t think its just the sweets to be honest, there is more going on! Your MIL giving her loads of sweets isn’t ideal, but unlikely to be the only reason

Could you make MIL come to the dentist with you when DD has her extraction/dental work done?

You could make sure the dentist scares her into being sensible in the future.

Tell the dentist this is what you want. Advice for this not happening again.

You could ask MIL to come with you for support ... .

Me and my family. Both now and growing up. Don’t you at least brush twice a day

DD just told me Mil Gives her a bottle of Lucozade every time she goes there! I don’t go with them as I hate MIL so don’t want to see her

People who want healthy teeth? at least twice a day is generally recommended

I had my first root canal as a child. It is fine. While it is not the funnest experience, none of mine have been as bad as people often describe.

Ithink I was 5yo when the dentist told off my mom about oral hygiene. It was never sugar or bad brushing etc. I just had one of those teeth that would get cavities very easily. Dentists have gone through tons of theories about misisng enzyme, something wrong with my spit, something about needing more fluoride than average, different prescription toothpastes etc.

If you carry on allowing your mother in law to ply your daughter with sugar then she will likely lose teeth. Diet is the main reason for tooth decay. I would take your daughter to the dentist every 3 months and it's unfortunately more than likely other teeth have decay in too. I'm a dentist btw.
Hopefully it only needs a large filling but if she does need a root canal it depends on her temperament if she will tolerate treatment.

As a dental nurse of 20 years I've never seen a child needing root canal. The need for this means there is a huge deep cavity affecting the nerve of the tooth. Be prepared its a very long procedure with injections for numbing, and the treatment may fail in a short period or may last years. I wouldn't opt for an extraction as that's her whole adult life spent with a missing tooth which will also affect the teeth surrounding it and them moving. If it were my child she would never be left with MIL again as this is unforgivable 😢

Ok, you do realise sugar isn't the direct cause of cavities, rather it feeds the bacteria that cause it (in particular streptococcus mutans and lactobabacillus), so people who are normally more susceptible to being the carriers of these are more likely to have cavities? Yes, tooth brushing, fluoride toothpastes and keeping oral ph high enough to reduce those bacteria helps - as does avoiding CONSTANT snacking on sugar, but exposure to sugar twice a week at age 5 would not directly lead to cavities. Mumsnet loves to have vapours over it. In this instance, yes, she has a cavity. Yes, she needs to have it treated. But it doesn't mean you're a parental failure because of it nor that you should report MIL to the SS.

I’d be stopping her seeing the MIL and wouldn’t give a fuck about what ructions it caused. Absolutely fucking appalling woman.

You aren’t taking any responsibility for this situation and blaming the MIL and yet she is mainly in your care. The fact that you state she saw your DD every day in the first five years of life is irrelevant because they would have affected her baby teeth?

I doubt eating sweets twice a week would have caused this much damage because you say you enforce good oral hygiene. It’s time to take a look in the mirror!

Dentist here, if she has 8s she’d be better off having it out - poor prognosis 6s.
Even if she doesn’t have an 8 I’d argue against RCT in a 6 in a 10 year old..

And fizzy drinks are the worst. My own dentist told me he let his kids have everything except fizzy drinks. Mine never had them that was my red line even though I wasn’t particularly strict compared to a lot of parents. A 10 year old has no need for fizzy drinks. Even at 17 and 20 mine would now only have them rarely, their choice as obviously I can’t control them now

People who want to keep their teeth.

Do you brush her teeth for her? I image that’s the real cause.

@Alpacajigsaw but a fizzy drink twice a week shouldn’t be an issue with good oral hygiene and regular check ups, unless there is an underlying condition. Kids get a check up every 6 months or so, so how did a cavity that big develop after 10 years of no issues?