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AIBU?

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To not sign a Congratulations on your baby card BEFORE the birth

126 replies

BringBackCatsEyes · 02/04/2026 15:50

Just been invited to sign a card for a colleague going on Mat leave next week.
It has congratulations on your new arrival on it. She’s not due for a couple of weeks still.
I said I was uneasy about signing it before the birth and would opt out if I was the only one who felt that way. Got a reply saying “I understand, thanks for letting me know”.
I have already sent my best wishes to the colleague, but wondered…would others feel like this?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/04/2026 11:58

LlynTegid · 04/04/2026 11:40

I wouldn't sign. A colleague a few years ago has a stillbirth at full term. I never discuss children in her presence (moved to another team so now rarely meet).

Why do you never discuss children in her presence? Has she asked you not to? My daughter was stillborn at full term and I certainly was sensitive to pregnancy and newborns for a while so I can understand not discussing that stuff, but the people who treated me like a plague that couldn’t hear of babies and kids caused far more hurt than anyone who just treated me like normal. One colleague deleted me off social media before announcing her pregnancy, it’s like people think stillbirth can be contagious or something. Please be mindful that you could cause hurt by treating her differently.

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