To not sign a Congratulations on your baby card BEFORE the birth

[BringBackCatsEyes]

Just been invited to sign a card for a colleague going on Mat leave next week.
It has congratulations on your new arrival on it. She’s not due for a couple of weeks still.
I said I was uneasy about signing it before the birth and would opt out if I was the only one who felt that way. Got a reply saying “I understand, thanks for letting me know”.
I have already sent my best wishes to the colleague, but wondered…would others feel like this?

As for the example of school exams, it's more like writing a "congratulations on finishing school" card, when someone had finished school but not yet received their exam results. No matter what happens now, they are finishing school.

? What do you want people to say to that? She obviously wouldn’t be upset by the card in that case would she

Can they not just wait until after the baby is born, send a "good luck" card (if anything) beforehand? A gift for the pregnant colleague but not a card when they finish up on mat leave.

It's like if your colleague was leaving to take a job overseas, and you refused to sign the "good bye and good luck" card because what if they get sick and can't go, what if the plane crashes, what if war breaks out in the country, what if a pandemic starts and there's a lock down, what if there's extreme weather and flights are grounded. Those things could happen, but today we are farewelling our our colleague and wishing the the best. That's what the card is for.

you could say congratulations on your pregnancy.
and best wishes on the birth

I sent her my best wishes via email.
I am on AL when she starts her mat leave.

But the card doesn't say Goodbye and Good luck, it says "Congratulations on the birth, so it's not saying goodbye and wishing her the best, it's literally congratulating her on something that hasn't happened.

I don't know why the PA wants to present it to her before the birth.

What you're describing isn't what I described in my OP.

No, I doubt if the worst happened she wouldn't think about the ill-worded e-card, it's more how she will feel next week, with still 3 weeks to go, being given a Congratulations card.

It's not because the card says congratulations on the birth of your baby something that hasn't yet happened!
If it was something like good luck on leaving work or congratulations on your pregnancy that would be Comparable.
You can't give a congratulations on the birth of your baby card to someone who hasn't yet had the baby! It's completely inappropriate

I don’t understand why whoever is circulating the card just doesn’t post it to her after the baby arrives. It’s a bit like giving someone their birthday card weeks early — why?

No, I didn't challenge the PA.

Sorry I thought she meant a physical card they were signing I missed that. But yeh principle is the same. It makes no sense to congratulate someone on the birth of a baby before the baby has been born

I always give a gift to the mum at a baby shower and save the baby gifts until after the birth.

If it had been a physical card then I would have just passed it on to the next colleague, but with an e-card I imagine the PA will check if people have signed and remind them if they haven't. NOT in a 'come on, you need to sign the card' way, but 'you kindly contributed to the collection, we're giving the card tomorrow so please sign it if you want'.
To save her reminding me I told her I wouldn't be signing it. I do actually feel strongly enough about my reasons to have told her why.

If they were planning to hang on to the card and send it to her once the baby’s arrived, I’d happily sign it. But it’s an odd choice to give it to her on her last day at work before she’s had the baby.

I’d probably still sign it because it’s not actually going to make a jot of difference to whether the baby is OK or not, but I might question the choice of the card and suggest a ‘You’re off to have a baby’ one might be more appropriate.

I have only been with the company 3 months so still new.
If it had been one of my previous jobs where I knew the PA well I'd have spoken directly to her.
In this situation I just did what I felt like doing w/o involving anyone else.

Definitely shouldn’t be done. It’s possible that this woman may have had a late loss or stillbirth previously, most people will know someone who has. If she has, or is anxious, or even just superstitious, herself, then she’s not going to enjoy receiving that card. At best she’ll probably think it’s a bit weird.

YANBU. We had a family member born early, and also a friend (at that time) who very sadly had a stillbirth. No way would I sign a card before a baby was born. I don't buy gifts either for baby showers, I buy the gift after the baby is born.

Not every question has to be a challenge.

If I had asked "why are you celebrating the birth of her baby before it's born?" that could be taken as me challenging her choice.

YANBU at all. I’ve had two colleagues who’ve had full-term stillbirths. Just awful.
It seems a very odd choice of card. The ones that go round at my workplace are of the “you’re leaving to have a baby” variety, and everyone writes messages wishing the mum-to-be well, hoping everything goes smoothly and looking forward to meeting the baby, etc etc.

Not round my way. Spent ages looking.

Yes it could. There are other ways of being curious.

I'd be out as well.

Congratulations on the birth of your child would be a weird thing to read if you haven't gone into labour.