To not sign a Congratulations on your baby card BEFORE the birth

[BringBackCatsEyes]

Just been invited to sign a card for a colleague going on Mat leave next week.
It has congratulations on your new arrival on it. She’s not due for a couple of weeks still.
I said I was uneasy about signing it before the birth and would opt out if I was the only one who felt that way. Got a reply saying “I understand, thanks for letting me know”.
I have already sent my best wishes to the colleague, but wondered…would others feel like this?

I didn't refuse, but it was our choice to join the team collection and I simply told her I wasn't comfortable. It wasn't a work instruction.

I wouldn't say signing a card has that much power of an actual birth so although it seems a little odd i couldn't imagine not signing it

I completely understand this, and don’t like those card before little one has arrived. I was recently tasked with card and gift buying for a colleague before she went off on maternity leave and chose a card which said you are leaving to have a baby.
Just to note I don’t feel the same way about baby showers, I love the idea of celebrating the mum to be and her pregnancy.

Oh goodness no.

you are entirely correct.

good luck, good bye, miss you, fine.

absolutely never congratulations when finishing for maternity.

well done OP.

and those voting OP is unreasonable, wow.

I might have mentioned to the organiser that it would make sense to delay her getting the card but if everyone else is signing it I would and write a message wishing her well on the birth. She’s still getting the card so it’s not like your signature being or not being on the card will matter to her.

I agree in general about not sending cards and presents for the baby until they’re here.

I think this is what is happening? Signing it in advance and then sending it once the bay is here?

Surelt to god they are not actually SENDING th congratulations on your baby card before the baby has been born??

That is madness, surely not.

But as regards signing it before the baby is born, I think I am with OP on this.

If somebody had already got the card and was passing it around for signing, I would probably sign it. But I would never buy and write a card like that in advance.

Would people buy, sign and send a “so sorry for your loss” card to somebody whose spouse or parent was dying?

Seems to same kind of thing to me. Too premature / presumptuous.

It's a badly chosen card. I would probably sign but suggest they held it back until the baby was safely there.

The posts about superstition are really weird ... surely everyone has heard of stillbirth?

There is a real gap in the market for cards for mums -to -be and dads- to- be going on maternity/paternity leave.

I’m sorry for you, and I have also been there and feel that awful pain

I do not think the card would tempt fate, I just think it’s entirely inappropriate.

The cards you mention once baby born, I absolutely agree and also have two very special ones.

I just think that the congratulations cards, after so many losses, and so much trauma, are best for once baby here.

unless of course the plan was to keep the card until that moment.

Yes I commented on the same scenario a few years back. It just seemed like bad luck for us all to be signing a card saying “congratulations on your new baby”. It was hastily replaced by one that said “you’re leaving to have a baby”. We sent the other one after the birth.

She is being given the card next week before her leave starts.

I don’t really see the problem with signing the card now.

I agree the card shouldn’t get delivered until after the birth, but logistically it makes sense to give some advance notice to allow the admin to get done.

Those who are uncomfortable, would you feel the same way about signing a ‘Enjoy your retirement’ card?!

I'm pretty sure that your use of a biro in any way or in any context outside of the delivery room has zero effect on the birth outcomes.

Yes things happen. But you have zero effect on them, and I don't think if the worst were to happen, they would be thinking about your card.

I wouldn't want to add to the pain in the unfortunate event that something goes wrong. A good luck card would be more appropriate.

I have in no way implied that I think me signing or not signing the car will have any impact on the outcome. I just don't feel comfortable congratulating someone on something that hasn't happened.

You agree with me then.
The card is to be given to her before her leave i.e before she has the baby.

How is signing a retirement card the same? When they leave the building they've probably started their retirement. Even if they're taking some annual leave before their official retirement starts, it's pretty much the same and not dependent on a huge event happening.

But the card says congratulations on your new arrival and the baby hasn't arrived yet!
I agree OP it's very odd to give a card like that before the baby is born . I wouldn't want to receive such a card either.

But it is still just a card do people think a card will cause a miscarriage or some other medical issue

They already exist

It should be a good luck card not a baby card. 50% or more of any gift should be about the mum not the baby.

No, I don't think that. Of course not.
I just don't think it's appropriate.

Exactly, rookie mistake that could cause actual upset

No one is saying that it just doesn't make sense to give someone a card saying congratulations on the birth of your baby when the baby hasn't been born
It's like giving someone a congratulations on passing your exams card before you get your exam results.

I agree OP.

I would have been devastated if I had received that with my son.

I know you are not asking this - in fact it hasn't come up - but I got so many condolence cards afterwards. I've kept them 11 years on in his box and they mean so much to me. A congratulations card would have been a horrible knife in the heart.

But she’s getting the card anyway. If the pregnancy ends badly she won’t look at the card again, and it’s an e card so it won’t be hanging round as a reminder in her home. If the birth goes well it’s just a tiny bit odd you didn’t sign it. Considering she’s getting the card regardless I wouldn’t have made a point of not signing it