Who was in the wrong here?

[EwwPeople]

I have my own opinions and bias on this so I’ll try to make this as fair and even as possible .

A while ago , we had a leaving do for a colleague. Early in the evening, with everyone present A did a big speech, lovely, some laughs, everyone clapped at the end , all good. Towards the end of the evening, a lot of people had left already, B also did a shorter speech. Again, some laughs, lovely, claps , all good.

However, A took great offence to this, and the night ended with a row.

The atmosphere is still tense in the office due to all of this.

One side is , that it was incredibly rude /attention seeking to do a second speech. So this would be YABU.

The other side is that it’s not that big of a deal, and even if it was the reaction to it was completely over the top. YANBU

I’m trying to keep this fairly vague so as not to be outing , and also like I originally said to keep things fair and not take sides, but I’m happy to add more context/detail if needed.

Who was the person leaving? A/B/neither?

I don't think it's a big deal at all, unless B somehow implied A's speech was lacking.

Are A &B in similar roles? Or is one management & one colleague?

not that it really matters, a is being an insecure muppet.

A is an idiot

A sounds tedious.

Same role. A has been here longer, but they’ve both been here years .

A different senior colleague.

Who was leaving? If A, then fair play or if A did it about the leaver, also fair. For B to then do another speech, if about the leaver, I'd say B was stepping on toes.

B's speech sounds unnecessary but A's daft to get wound up about it.

So A and B are just colleagues of the person leaving the job, and who just made speeches at different times during the leaving party? And A chose to see it as a deliberate slight that B also made a speech, and started a row at the party?

Who said A was the boss of who gives speeches? I'd suggest A needs to chill the fuck out.

Yes.

What a pair of morons. Both wrong.

Can you explain why? I’m not being facetious, I honestly don’t understand it. Is it like an unspoken rule/manners kind of thing?

I abhor public speaking so I’d never have this dilemma , but I do want to understand.

Did A feel slighted by B?

is A more senior than B?

That’s ridiculous, does it matter if they both gave a speech in honour of a colleague leaving. And A needs to grow up - having a huff in work about is even more ridiculous.

Yes, very much so.
No, equal roles.

Yanbu ... But yabu to have not included a poll 😂

How silly of A. When one of my staff left, at his do I gave a speech as his manager, and the lead academic he'd worked closely with also gave one afterwards. I didn't feel peeved at all, more pleased that they did as it showed he was a good egg (and reflected well on me as hiring manager!)

A is being very childish. It's nice for people to be celebrated by as many as possible.

Then I think A was being ridiculous. It was a little off the cuff speech to say “We’ll all miss Z and wish him/her the best in the new job!’ not the State of the Nation address!

Sounds like A has a complex and B likes to undermine others

Because A had already done it. Saying that, at school, the head does a generic goodbye/thank you and then the head of department or line manager also does a more personal one. I guess it's a bit like a best man's speech, once done, you don't have another.

It’s nothing like a best man’s speech, where 1 best man has been appointed for a special occasion.

There’s often a back story with this sort of thing e.g. B has form for undermining A.

Either A is bonkers for being so wound up or A generally finds B annoying and something about it tipped A over the edge.

Maybe B has form for upstaging A or B is just annoying in general and makes everything about them? I don't know, just ideas about what might tip A over the edge.

I've never been to a leaving do with only one speech; generally anybody who has had something to say has stood up and said it.