Who was in the wrong here?

[EwwPeople]

I have my own opinions and bias on this so I’ll try to make this as fair and even as possible .

A while ago , we had a leaving do for a colleague. Early in the evening, with everyone present A did a big speech, lovely, some laughs, everyone clapped at the end , all good. Towards the end of the evening, a lot of people had left already, B also did a shorter speech. Again, some laughs, lovely, claps , all good.

However, A took great offence to this, and the night ended with a row.

The atmosphere is still tense in the office due to all of this.

One side is , that it was incredibly rude /attention seeking to do a second speech. So this would be YABU.

The other side is that it’s not that big of a deal, and even if it was the reaction to it was completely over the top. YANBU

I’m trying to keep this fairly vague so as not to be outing , and also like I originally said to keep things fair and not take sides, but I’m happy to add more context/detail if needed.

This.

I think it's no big deal, personally, but it would be nice to see the numbers

Bit odd from B, not sure 2 speeches needed, not rude though.

Very odd from A, totally OTT

Quite.
And in any case you have loads of speeches at a wedding.

unless there was a prior discussion where it was agreed A would do a speech on behalf of everyone and B interfered with that. A is ridiculous they are not the king of speeches.

This.

What a way to ruin a nice evening with petty squabbling, point scoring, one upmanship.
No idea what etiquette would dictate, probably no need for a second speech at all but nor is it a big deal. Both sound like they are competitive or cannot read the room tbh.

Unless B made it out like As speech was bad. Then A is in the wrong here and has made the persons leaving party all about themselves. Rather than just thinking it’s lovely how much people care about the leaver by doing another speech. Everyone has a right to say goodbye ffs. A is in the wrong.

A is being a flannel. They wanted to say something (and court some attention!) about the leaver and so, it seems, did B, it’s hardly fair to throw your toys out of the pram because someone else yapped for a bit!

It does sound as though B just wanted to grab a bit of the limelight.

I think a second speech was overkill.

Not a big deal though unless there's a bit of rivalry between the two, then it could be seen as one-upmanship.

Seems odd to have 2 speeches but maybe that's because I work at a school so we just do our goodbyes in the staffroom during lunchtime rather than having a do.

I would have expected it to have been arranged beforehand who was going to do the speech.

B's speech seems unnecessary if A had already given one but it's silly of A to be so wound up about it.

Actually this is a better way of putting it 👍

I suspect the OP is B and so wouldn't admit if there was a bit of rivalry between the two.

A sounds like a complete bellend.

A and B should have agreed between them in advance who would be giving the speech and done a joint speech if they both wanted to speak. It sounds like this didn’t happen and A was trying to exclude B by giving the main speech without B.

Yes, you can imagine the person leaving going home from the party very relieved s/he wasn’t going to have to deal with A and B’s dramas any more…

If they are similar levels, and have similar roles and relationship with the leaver sounds like there may already be tension between the two. To me it feels like B had their nose put out of joint because A had made a speech and wanted to make a point by doing the second one.
It reflects badly on both of them - grownups would normally discuss who was going to make the speech and certainly not make a big thing about it afterwards.

Sounds like B knew giving a speech would piss A off and that’s why they did it.

I'm in the middle of the two options. Yes it was unecessary and attention seeking of B to do a second speech. Anything they wanted so badly to say to the exiting colleague not covered in As speech could have been said one to one.
However the appropriate response from A would be a bit of an eye roll that B had to get in on it, but say nothing. Causing a row and bad atmosphere over this is very childish.

A is a drama llama

Exactly! The person who matters is the person who is leaving. They probably were chuffed to have another speech. A making it all about themselves is totally inappropriate unless there is a backstory.

Had B had a drink by the time they got to do their speech? My advice , for what’s it’s worth, is to ignore the pair of them.

Wasn't there a plan beforehand about who would give the speech? In my experience of this kind of thing, the person giving the speech wants to prepare a little in advance and think of some nice things to say. And if there's a card or gift they would have it with them to hand over.

If it was clear that A would give the speech then I can see why A is annoyed. If it was completely spontaneous then A is unreasonable (although I still think it's a bit weird to have a second speech).

Agreed, who in their right mind cares that someone else gave a second speech at someone’s leaving do?

It’s a complete non event, A is ridiculous - do they have form for being really hard work? I feel sorry for the persons who’s leaving do it was to have this nonsense overshadow it with a silly row.

Reminds me of the speeches in bridesmaids! 😆

On the face of it, unless there's more of a back story, A is being a precious twat.

But it’s a leading do… loads of people speak at leaving do’s.
A sounds like an idiot.

They had a physical fight over leaving speeches?! For who? Margot Robbie?!

That sounds utterly pathetic and best forgotten about. Why on earth would it be offensive for more than one person to do a speech? Unless B's speech was slagging off A and their speech/work/character.