AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

[Bertiebiscuit]

I'm so sick of male charity chuggers, i watch them always bear down on older lone women - the "Dorothy Donor" stereotype is still operating i guess- i am on a fixed income, cannot afford to give money to charities, although I'm a regular buyer in charity shops and always donate goods when i have a clear out. As if i would give out my card details in public anyway, they must think we're stupid! And all that fake "charming" act they put on - hello 'young' lady, i like your hat/coat/haircut blah blah 🤮. Long story short i ignore them and march past,but lately several have felt they can shout snarky comments as i walk away, basically is amounting to street harassment,bog standard male bullsh*t and entitlement. I confess that the most recent one i gave him the finger. I feel as though I'm just prey, as women and girls always seem to be, and it makes me furious.

Yes, it was in response to a pp who said the male chuggers were targeting young women. I made a throw away comment about why wouldn't you target attractive members of the opposite sex.

That's 'target' meaning 'to chat to' not stalk, letch after, be sleazy towards which for reasons I don't understand you think I meant 🤷‍♀️ Someone even suggested I have a liking for low tops and high heels fgs 😂

Like I said previously, I can't be the only person who enjoys chatting (caveat: in a non sleazy or pervy way) to members of the opposite sex.

And not forgetting: IT WAS A CASUAL THROW AWAY COMMENT not intended to spark serious debate 😁

Are you kidding? Some of them are downright aggressive, trying to block people's way. Scumbags.

You are of course allowed to film them on your phone.

totally off topic but a once reporter came to our door re a big news story a few doors down and they got my H to talk by saying 'sir this is the nicest yard on the block can I ask you about Ms Smith's death' H beamed with pride and spoke so kindly about the person who was killed too.

In the days when I was out and about among the shops I ued to be quite rough with them. If I saw one approaching I held up my hand palm outwards in a"barring" motion and if they continued to approach the classic two fingured gesture said it all.

Yesterday my doorbell camera showed a group of Jehova's Witness people coming down the street past my house. As they walked by my door and caught sight of the stern "no callers without appointment" notice and the "24 hour CCTV recording" one said to another "Not there" and they zipped quickly past. A few minutes later they zipped back. I dont expect they had much success as its a diverse area and most of my neighbours are Moslem or Hindu.

YABU they target everyone, and they themselves are a mix of men and women.
YANBU to be annoyed by them though, but they are just doing a job.

But an awful lot of them seem to behave atrociously in doing their job - crossing people's personal boundaries and harassing them, as well as attempting coercion and emotional blackmail.

Would you say the same about a builder who keeps shouting leery comments at passing women that 'he's just doing his job'?

I agree. I hate them with a passion.
But a chugger approaching people is part of their job.
A builder being leery at passing women is being a twat, and it is not part of his job at all.

Yes! I simply ignored him and walked on by, and he muttered something quite rude, and this is not the first time this has happened. And yes, i should probably complain to whatever charity they are chugging for , but life is short. I bet the male chuggers don't say nasty comments to men though. Too cowardly

Finally, people who get this!!!!! Thank you 💐💐💐💐 (can the previous sanctimonious victim blamers take note)

Thank you so much @Eggandspoonrace2 you have made my day, so refreshing to hear from someone who knows what I'm talking about, I'm quite fed up with the lectures from people who don't seem capable of understanding that what I've experienced more than once is sanctioned street harassment by charities. As if women don't get enough street harassment already.

Thank you - I'm really shocked at the victim blaming I've been getting

Wow! Victim blaming much?

Well lucky you. And it's not a job for anyone with scruples tbh

We're all agreed then. We're never going to sign up to donate because we were asked on the street. If everyone bands together on this, this scourge will end!
Can this be the next Mumsnet campaign?

I enraged one a few weeks ago. He said that I looked kind and I replied " Appearances are deceptive then, I absolutely am not".
He was visibly angry.

Thank you!!! Much appreciated 💐

I wonder why you assume i havent tried that? You don't seem to grasp the fact that it was the chugger who was rude, not me, in the beginning. Stop victim blaming

I always get "you look friendly"... and I respond with "well, I am not!"

THANK YOU X X X X 💐💐💐much appreciated, so nice to hear from someone who gets this.

I loathe them with a passion, especially the ones who target you for kids’ charities when you have kids with you.

Yeah this. ^ And as has been said, they are a MENACE on the exits of supermarkets. There was a big complaint on the Facebook page of my local market town the other week, where a man said he was sick to death of having to avoid chuggers on the way out of the supermarket every single time he went in. They were right by the exit, (before the foyer that lead to the doorway out,) so there was no way to avoid them.

It was noted by the author of the post, and many other people that women are targetted more, and most people over 65 (men and women.) I have a resting bitch face, and just look through them and don't engage. OR I pretend to be on my phone. #sorrynotsorry. I owe them nothing, and IDGAF if they are 'just doing their job' NO other 'job' hounds and harrasses people like chuggers do.

As the OP said, no WAY am I giving my bank details to some random in the street - or supermarket... And the patronising 'hello dear how are you today, you look friendly, do you like animals, children, the environment, the disabled, the elderly, and pink footed goldfish' type of comments is going to make me sign up.

I have offered coins before - 2 or 3 pounds, and asked them if they have a collection tin. But they don't want that, they want your BANK DETAILS, so they can keep hounding and harrassing you, and sneakily taking additional donations from you when you're not looking!

I already give to several charities, and DO things for the greater good which I won't go into, and I don't have to explain myself anyway! I am NOT signing up to these chuggers. And yes they do target women more, and people over 65, and they need to be outlawed, BANNED, and consigned to the history books!

I don't know anyone who can stand them, and I find it unfathomable that ANYone can stick up for them (as a few people on this thread are doing...) These (few) people either never leave the house, OR they are chuggers themselves!!!

@Bertiebiscuit YANBU, it is absolutely 100% HARASSMENT, and the chugger-type pushiness and harassment has done charities NO good at all. It's put many people off donating to anything. And it doesn't help that every other shop and business you buy from asks you for a donation at the checkout too!

I am sick of the fucking constant begging. They must all think everyone is made of money. FFS, people can't keep give give giving to everything and everyone who asks!

.

Years ago, I had one stop me for "Help the Aged". He nabbed me and was on about the plight of elderly people, and at the very same time... an elderly gent came up and grabbed my ass 😒

But even if they do only ever approach people and speak to them respectfully and non-persuasively - which very few of them ever seem to do, as they know that this doesn't get the money in - they're doing a job that the vast majority of people find an imposition and do not want. They are salespeople, who have sized you up as a potential/intended source of money, which people just do not want when they are trying to get on with their day. They have chosen to do their job; but their job wholly relies on my participation - and I most definitely have not chosen that job.

And let's not forget that they are working primarily for themselves: they are wanting to effectively get you to give THEM your hard-earned money over several months in exchange for the 'service' of them guilting you to continue giving each month to a charity that you will almost certainly be already familiar with anyway... but only after they've had the first several months of it for themselves, which they never, ever tell you is part of the 'deal'.

I really don't think that most people realise how this works and the brazenness of it. It's the direct equivalent of, in the old days, somebody rattling a bucket labelled "Please give generously for Anytown Hospice" and actively approaching people passing by for them to chuck in cash by calling "Help the hospice?" EXCEPT, they stand there doing this from 9-3 each day... they take out all of the money that's put in the bucket in the morning and pocket it for themselves; then whatever is thrown in in the afternoon is passed on to the hospice.

Absolutely everybody would have considered this blatant fraud and deception - even if the hospice had surprisingly pre-agreed with them that they were fine to do this. Just because technology and banking have moved on, it's still every bit as deceitful and shameful.

This has been a really interesting thread to read.

There are always chuggers outside my local supermarket. Next time i have some free time, i might have a sit down there with a snack and watch them to have a look at how they are targeting people and if they are targeting more women.

I have to wonder if they would actually get more money by asking for £1 in the bucket. People are making a really good point about not giving out bank details. Though they still wouldn’t get anything out of me as i never carry cash.