AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

[Bertiebiscuit]

I'm so sick of male charity chuggers, i watch them always bear down on older lone women - the "Dorothy Donor" stereotype is still operating i guess- i am on a fixed income, cannot afford to give money to charities, although I'm a regular buyer in charity shops and always donate goods when i have a clear out. As if i would give out my card details in public anyway, they must think we're stupid! And all that fake "charming" act they put on - hello 'young' lady, i like your hat/coat/haircut blah blah 🤮. Long story short i ignore them and march past,but lately several have felt they can shout snarky comments as i walk away, basically is amounting to street harassment,bog standard male bullsh*t and entitlement. I confess that the most recent one i gave him the finger. I feel as though I'm just prey, as women and girls always seem to be, and it makes me furious.

It's not "male bullshit and entitlement". Sure as hell nothing to do with whether you're a woman or not. It's their job. Anything they say is meaningless - they're just trying to get the two of you speaking.

In fact, kudos to them if what they say is even remotely accurate, like if they comment on a blue shirt or whatever, and you happen to actually be wearing one. But then, even a stopped clock is correct twice a day - they could very well say the same thing to a naked bearded bloke after you walk away. Maybe a pigeon pecking at a stray flake of sausage roll pastry on the ground, after him.

You might be familiar with prefacing a cashier with "here's my Nectar Card, and I don't need any bags" and they proceed to ask you if you have a Nectar Card, and if you would like any shopping bags.

You're only seeing the "event" from one perspective, because in case you haven't noticed yet, that's how our lives work. We can't switch to another random person's viewpoint like we're changing the TV channel.

Calm down.

Im now old enough and hard enough to ignore them completely. I’m glad they weren’t a thing when I was young, soft and poor but did have a job.

I dislike this with a passion. I had one come up to me outside Matalan. It has actually put me off going to the shops. I just order online now. If I do come across them or similar (sky, electricity etc) though I just tell them im over visiting from Poland or somewhere random . It always works.

There is no way I’m giving my bank details or tapping my card on a machine when a charity collector accosts me on the street .
If I have cash on me I will happily donate some to volunteers who are usually standing quietly to the side ( maybe shaking the collection tin/ bucket) near supermarkets or inside malls .
I have pretended I’m Spanish once or twice as I can pass for that nationality 😆 easily

I do dislike the chuggers outside shops slightly less than the door to door fundraisers . I think that’s the worst form of fundraising altogether . It is often the same charities . Could be anyone knocking on your door , waving some fake ID with a coloured bib. Again why would you give your bank details to a stranger ?

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It really puts me off visiting the local Co-Op, because they have regular ones by the door. I work 14-hour days in a manual job, and I just want to do my shopping and go home! I have taken to telling them that I am a poor farmer, and LOOK, I have iodine/blue spray on my hands to prove it. Then they get distracted, look disgusted, ask what it's about, and then send me on my way when I go into too much detail about cows 😁

Sometimes I just walk on by. Sometimes ...

"Just walk with me a bit, I've got an appointment ..." Then if they do ...

"I wonder. What proportion of net income ought we to give to charity? What percentage do you give for instance?" ...

Then follow this up. (Sometimes I have to insist: "No - let me talk. Now ..." They're usually trained to also listen to their mark.) They mostly don't have a clue - only chuggers after all - "So, what's your monthly net income after tax? And how much do you donate every month?"

With a bit of on-the-spot (or walking-briskly-along) mental arithmetic, something like, "That seems more than generous. Really? That much?" Or, "But that's barely three percent! You said ten percent!" Or, more often, "I know, you're not well-off at all, but we're thinking of proportion not absolute amounts! Surely you could afford at least a couple of percent!"

And (mostly, though not always, they lie), "And how much of that goes to (the particular charity they're selling)? Again, sometimes needs follow-up ...

Usual result? Faintly embarrassed chugger leaves me to walk on alone, mumbling to himself as he returns to his post outside M&S or wherever.

[Incidentally, I never sign up with chuggers, but I do gift-aid a regular fixed proportion of my net income to charity. I wonder what percentage people think I/we ought to donate?]

The ones in the doorstep annoy me too

If im at home,its because I have a precious day off (shift worker) and I dont want to waste it on my doorstep

I bought a sign for the door,politely asking them not to knock as I dont do business on the doorstep

It got ignored,so I put a bigger and brighter one up-ignored

I now check to see if its a delivery person and if not,I dont answer

If they catch me out,I point to the massive sticker and shut the door

They take great offence to this and I've had them shouting at me through the letterbox and insulting me as I shut the door (im normally on my own on a day off as dp is at work-I've felt bloody vulnerable a few times)

'Oddly' if it happens to be dp that answers the door,he does the same as me and shuts the door-never has he had anyone shout through the letterbox

Complaining to the charities gets me nowhere

Just read the bloody sign and dont knock!

Next time a politician does a web chat on MN, can we all remember to ask about this and making chuggers illegal (ban asking for non-cash donations or asking for bank details would be enough I expect, or no-one who fundraises this way being allowed to be registered as a charity).

Yes, I've avoided shops before and specifically gone elsewhere because of these menaces. A couple of years ago, our Co-op had people (supposedly) from the NSPCC right inside the door, so you couldn't possibly avoid them (both on the way in and when you leave). Well, you could avoid them... by turning around again and not using that shop when you saw them through the glass door.

I will never understand why the big stores spend millions on adverts, urging people to come and shop with them... then when people heed the call and come along with money to spend, they've deliberately put an obstacle in there to strongly encourage you to change your mind and go elsewhere at the last minute.

Chugging definitely falls into the category of those things that are technically legal, but nobody can for the life of them imagine why.

A bit like the law stating that, if some random CF parks on your private drive, you could be prosecuted for pulling in after them and also parking on your own drive, as you are then guilty of obstructing their access to the highway.

I think we need to be honest abiut it and not let ourselves be swayed by the supposed 'charity' aspect of it.

Not one of these people have chosen the job because they passionately care about a particular charity. Indeed, they often don't even know which charity's name they're going to be invoking in order to make themselves money until the last minute; then it will be a different charity the next week.

How did we ever get to the point where a stranger can freely stop you in the street, harass, hassle and guilt-trip you and make tou give them your bank details? At least actual muggers - not the ones wearing a tabard and holding a clipboard - only get to take your money on one occasion.

Most charities have made unwise declarations along the lines of pretending they believe men are women if they say they are. I always refer to that as a reason I will never give to that charity again. That shuts them up because they write me off as a hateful transphobe. Good

I completely agree; however even their using chuggers in the first place massively turns me off their charity full stop.

If they deliberately choose to engage third-party businesses to go and harass and hassle people in the street or in their own homes to hand over their bank details, just so that they (the charity) can hopefully end up with a portion of whatever money the agents can wring out of usually-unwilling givers before they cancel their DDs, I take an extremely dim view of them.

They're basically ordering and actively seeking to benefit from the proceeds of anti-social behaviour - there's a very good reason why it's referred to as charity mugging, as that's how their marks frequently feel. it's absolutely not something that any kind of honourable organisation with any integrity would dream of doing.