AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

[Bertiebiscuit]

I'm so sick of male charity chuggers, i watch them always bear down on older lone women - the "Dorothy Donor" stereotype is still operating i guess- i am on a fixed income, cannot afford to give money to charities, although I'm a regular buyer in charity shops and always donate goods when i have a clear out. As if i would give out my card details in public anyway, they must think we're stupid! And all that fake "charming" act they put on - hello 'young' lady, i like your hat/coat/haircut blah blah 🤮. Long story short i ignore them and march past,but lately several have felt they can shout snarky comments as i walk away, basically is amounting to street harassment,bog standard male bullsh*t and entitlement. I confess that the most recent one i gave him the finger. I feel as though I'm just prey, as women and girls always seem to be, and it makes me furious.

They are annoying but I don’t think they particularly single out women as “prey”. They pounce on anyone they make eye contact with because that’s their job.

"You look kind"

"Well I'm not. Go away"

I say to them 'Nospik Ingliss, nospik Ingliss' and walk off.

The ones that hang about outside supermarkets are the worst. Always by the entrance.

I just want to be able to do my shopping without being harassed whenever someone wants to sign me up to something.

The ones at Charing Cross station are on a hiding to nothing. People are there because they are about to catch a train. Of course I don't have a spare few minutes!

They all are really though. How many people actually sign up from chuggers?

It’s the same around here, they approach women far more than they do men. YANBU, it ought to be illegal.

My husband gets them as much as me, dont see why women are considered special in this, they annoy both of us when they wont accept a polite no

Are women not able to stand up for themselves?

And dont try the 'dont you care about children' again or you (chuggers) wont like the answer

Exactly. They'll go for anyone whose eye they catch. Women are just more inclined to catch people's eyes as they move. The OP seems keen to make this a male / female thing when it isn't.

These chuggers work on commission and while no one likes their approach it's a thankless job.

And @Bertiebiscuit there's no reason why you have to be rude and aggressive. A quick " no thank you" is perfectly effective.

I was trying to figure this one out- thought it was pig Latin or something

I think for me it's the change from someone with a bucket looking for a couple of quid to the having to sign up for monthly donations. My local supermarket always has some charity or other. I feel they do try and make you feel guilty even when it's a charity you already give to !

Sometimes they do target women and harass them with cheesy chat up lines to do it as well (eg whatever that one about stars falling from heaven is). I had to be extremely firm to shut them up. I was going to complain to the charity because a middle aged woman going to work does not need that shit but I forgot, but the next day they had someone with a clipboard telling them what to do so I'm guessing someone else did. OP ifc you really feel like it's harassment, phone the charity they're collecting for. Doesn't do their reputation any good does it.

It's a nonsense form of 'I don't speak English'. Some will ask 'Spanish? French?..' but by that time I'm gone.

"Don't you care about poor deprived kids living on the moon?"
"No."

It is annoying but they are doing a job so I try to remember that.

I complained when a chugger came up to me in the co op as I was packing the items I had bought via a self service till. I was told my feedback was noted 🤣

I take the cowardly way out now when I spot them and pretend to be on a phone call. They are annoying. In the bit of central London I work in I've spotted young female chuggers approaching men in suits a lot.

One got me last year, by sheer flattery - "Wow, you're quite ripped for an older guy" 😂 I didn't sign up for monthly donations, but I did bung a few quid into the collection tin 😂

I have no idea if they target women more than men as I don't stop for them so I'm not around long enough to notice either way. Bright and breezy "no thank you" while walking briskly by.
Sorry that amount of alliteration was not on purpose!

I don't think they particularly target women but they are definitely the worst. Tbh I'm surprised they actually get anyone signing up because everyone seems to hate them and try to avoid them.

My DH always asks them for a leaflet so he can look into it later but of course they never have them because they want to sign you up there and then and get you on their commission list.

if they try and engage me in conversation I just say I’m already donating to charity, and keep on walking!

I dislike them too but I long learned not to allow myself to get irritated by the guilt trip of "don't you care about XYZ", the answer is "no" so they leave me alone. I'm comfortable with my charitable endeavours and don't need to prove it to a stranger.

My husband is the one who gets trapped.

If I spot a badge as I open the door I immediately shut it whilst saying no.

He lets them finish their sentences and everything. Far too nice, bless him, but I don't think it's nice to not let them know that their job is exploiting them first and foremost. He actually did this job for three days (paid about £12 in total after expenses).

I think the kind thing would be to tell them to get another job if they can.

In my experience the male chuggers absolutely do target women and young girls more. They are a pest in my local (to work) shopping centre. Despite not making eye contact and saying 'no, thank you' loudly to them, they walk alongside me trying to reel me in. 'Oh you've got such lovely hair', 'I love your shoes' 'Surely you can stop and listen' etc etc etc This isn't just one charity - last summer there were four different ones in various places on different days.

My 20 year old daughter and her friends have the same experience both at Uni and when back home in our hometown shopping centre.

I complained about a couple of them directly to the charities last year. When the sun is out they are worse than wasps.

I understand they're doing a job but I got so pissed off when one of them tried to stop me and I said I really can't as I'm going to be late for my bus. Wasn't even a lie. Well he then shouted at me that I'm obviously a terrible person who doesn't give a shit about the poor little deaf children. Now obviously I'm not going to let some jumped up little twat like that think that kinda shit is in any way ok. I turned around and laughed in his face while saying well that's funny because deaf charities are the kind I do send money to, you know, seeing as how I've got 2 deaf parents. The look of absolute shock on his face, priceless 😁