AIBU to feel harassed by charity chuggers targeting women in public?

[Bertiebiscuit]

I'm so sick of male charity chuggers, i watch them always bear down on older lone women - the "Dorothy Donor" stereotype is still operating i guess- i am on a fixed income, cannot afford to give money to charities, although I'm a regular buyer in charity shops and always donate goods when i have a clear out. As if i would give out my card details in public anyway, they must think we're stupid! And all that fake "charming" act they put on - hello 'young' lady, i like your hat/coat/haircut blah blah 🤮. Long story short i ignore them and march past,but lately several have felt they can shout snarky comments as i walk away, basically is amounting to street harassment,bog standard male bullsh*t and entitlement. I confess that the most recent one i gave him the finger. I feel as though I'm just prey, as women and girls always seem to be, and it makes me furious.

Why do you have to be old to do that, if you feel inclined?

I was out in the town centre a few weeks ago with a friend who does a lot of volunteer work in our local church.

We were stopped by a chugger and I said no straight away; she started to rummage in her handbag and I thought she was going to give a cash donation. But no. She whipped out a book of raffle tickets she had been selling to raise funds for the church roof, looked the guy in the eye and said “I will if you will” which entirely cracked me up. It was the very best response I have ever witnessed. Needless to say they did not swap donations!

"Do you like dogs"

"No".

They're just doing their job. I give them a firm "you're wasting your time because I have never and will never sign up to donate to anything in the street, but good luck anyway" and they don't hassle me any further.

You can develop appropriate assertiveness at any time. Certainly ageing doesn't have to go hand in hand with rudeness.

@myheadsjustmush

I don't like chugging either, and think it's too intrusive - but I disagree that the top dogs are overpaid. Running a charity is a lot of responsibility and requires a lot of skills and experience. I think they're compensated fairly for their time, responsibilities and skills.

CEOs of charities earn less than they would in the corporate sector. I understand that a salary of, say, £120k is considered a very large amount by the majority of people, but the best people for the job - i.e. qualified, competent people with experience - wouldn't apply for the job for much less.

If they are behaving improperly then report them to the charity.

But don’t abuse people for doing their job.

Just say no and walk on by.

I had that last week.

" Yes, but I'm not interested today, thank you".

I start talking to them in Latin if I have time to mess with them. There's a fair bet they won't speak that.

I had one rudely shout after me 'don't you care about disabled children then?' I replied Nope!

@Skybluepinky

The OP has said they do this, but sometimes chuggers shout rude/sarcastic comments at them as they walk past.

Long story short i ignore them and march past,but lately several have felt they can shout snarky comments as i walk away

I am sure they target women, am with you OP. I am a women in her 40s, sometimes scruffy, sometimes well-kempt and no matter where I am in the UK, 9 times out of 10 I am approached by the chuggers on the street even though I am deliberately avoiding eye contact and swerving as much as possible.

My female friends say exactly the same.

I just ignore and carry on.

“Hello miss, you look friendly”

Every single evening at the station directed at me, a late-40s woman who definitely does not look friendly. I just ignore them but it’s irritating.

The average charity CEO is paid £60k per year.

The CEOs working for the largest charities are responsible for multi-million pound budgets and thousands of staff and the earn a fraction of what they could of they worked in the private or even public sector.

if you don’t want to donate just say no thank you. No need to be an area hole to someone doing a minimum wage job.

I completely understand. I have had them be rude to me and I had never previously replied. Walking past them began to make me nervous so now I just say 'I don't deal with chuggers, thanks'.

I haven't noticed them specifically targeting women tbh. But there was thread on here before where lots of people said they found them misogynistic.

I got flamed for saying I felt kind of sorry for them if that's the only job they can get. Commission only probably so lower than min wage. But they aren't being forced to do it. I daresay most only last a week then quit as it's so depressing.

If you feel strongly you should contact the charities themselves and explain you don't think this approach is a good look.

Oh I had that one the other week, caught them out of the corner of my eye, in a rush to get to work, he tried the 'you look friendly' I continued walking straight past so he huffed ' MY MISTAKE ' .... Who is stopping to talk to these people, we all know they want you to sign up to direct debits, hand your card details to this total randomer in public. They'll be getting a commission so basically your payments for the first year or 2 will just pay this man who harasses people in public. No thanks

I had one who literally was walking backwards in front of me, refusing to leave me alone, I was on the phone, rushing to get a bus, I was about 17 years old, I told him to go away, leave me alone I'm on the phone. I basically had to shout 'fuck off' ' in the middle of the shopping centre and he was still yelling after me when I got away from him

I feel like this practice needs banning. I can only think that the people who sign up to charity donations this way are vulnerable or have felt so intimidated that they signed up.

I most definitely avoid eye contact but still get accosted on the daily at a major London station.

I used to donate to the Dogs Trust and a chugger for them pissed me off so much, I cancelled my direct debit, complained to them and requested i was taken off their marketing lists.

I don't engage generally. At all, other than a firm "No" with a hand up.

And there are a lot more CEO's on a lot more money than that.

I am not being an a* hole to them as you suggest - and I am NEVER rude to any of them. They give out their speech as to why I should part with my hard earned money every month - and I give them the reasons why I don't want to part with my hard earned money. 🤷‍♀️

And if me keeping them talking for a bit longer saves a couple of elderly people being drawn into it all, then that is even better IMHO!

Another good line to use with chuggers:

Tell them that you charge for your time, you're on the clock, and they already owe you £10.

@myheadsjustmush

"And there are a lot more CEO's on a lot more money than that."

True, but I would say that those salaries are reasonable because of the huge responsibility of the role. High salaries are often needed in order to get people with the required skills.

😂. Love it

“Not today Satan!!” I find usually does the trick

If it’s someone trying to get me to swap my energy or broadband supplier I just tell them, whilst walking past them as fast as possible that I don’t pay the bills. They are literally not interested then!

It’s the knobheads who have the audacity to knock on your door and start harassing you about broadband that really do my head in! I work from home so I open the door and they witter on and insist on giving me a card and ask when is a more convenient time. Never!!!!

I have done so in the past - got a hugely apologetic reply from the charity but they still employ the buggers.

I've just started very firmly saying, "No. Go. Away" - that loss of British "politeness" jars enough they stand there stunned until you've made an exit.