AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

[Situationallystuck]

I usually sing when I'm happy. Little ditties and bits of tunes, sometimes a full on song. My voice isn't x-factor winning, but it isn't unpleasant. I was in a select choir when I was younger so I know I can carry a tune. I don't make a big deal about singing, and don't try and take centre stage with it at all, more like I'll sing along to a song on the radio or join in with singing at church etc.
Recently on holiday with my husband and teen children, my eldest said that they don't like it when I sing. I understood this to mean in public, which I get, teens don't want their mum attracting attention. I acknowledged this, but then it turned into a session where my husband said he thinks my voice is terrible and I should never sing. That it's horrible when I do. The teens nodded along. I was really hurt. But I figured maybe they got caught up in the situation, later I asked my husband if it was really that terrible when I sing and he told me that my singing should be best kept for when I was alone.
So, today, I didn't sing at all. They all keep asking me if I'm alright because they can tell something is different, but I haven't said a word about the singing and neither have they.
I feel like either the biggest fool in the world for inflicting my singing on the people around me or an absolute arrogant sod for thinking my voice was not unpleasant. I don't want to be a fool or an arrogant sod, so I've decided not to sing again.
I reckon the first time they will properly notice is when my husband has his birthday next month.
I guess my question is, would I be unreasonable to never sing to/with them again, even though I know they will be sad or hurt that I'm not singing happy birthday? They would obviously prefer for me not to sing at any other time.

Even a wonderful singer would be annoying if they sang random songs around the house.

My dp sings/hums. A lot.

I cannot put into words how annoying it is. If you do it a lot too I completely understand where they're coming from.

I’d stick to singing when you’re alone.

My son sings in the shower - he makes the song and the tune up, it's good that he shares the joy of singing.

The birds are good at it though

All children hate the sound of their parents singing. No idea why but it seemed to be a universal cringe!

Not to be mean but I think I’d get a bit tired of someone singing “full on songs” all the time but I’m sure your family does things you find annoying and you let them do it so they should allow you to!

I think your family are being mean. It is how you show you are happy. It’s not nice to tell you it’s annoying as it’s part of your personality. From the DC I’d understand it because it’s normal for them to be irritated by parents. Your DH though presumably married you knowing you do this. I completely understand why you are so hurt by this.

But why would you keep bothering everyone if you can just sing in different settings that won’t bother everyone else? That’s supremely selfish.

Do you have a choir near you? If so, you should join. You'll get feedback and an outlet for your singing. I agree with PP, your family sound like fun sponges.

I used to sing in a choir when I was younger but my voice has definitely deteriorated as I've got older, so I only sing silly songs and rhymes to my very young grandchildren. But I quite enjoy singing so I sing to my neighbours dog when I take him for his daily walk, he doesn't seem to mind!!

Oh man…. What a way to live!

My DH and teens tell me my singing is awful, they're right but I still sing. Keep doing what makes you happy.

That’s mean of them and very negative.
Singing is amazing for your mental health and respiratory health so continue to sing 🎵 of you want to .
I love singing , I used to be a bit better than I am now ( I have allergies and asthma )
I was in a small girls ensemble at school, encouraged by one of the popular girls there who was very musical and said my voice had a nice tone .
I am from a poorer family who didn’t have the £ for me to have music lessons or singing lessons so I can’t read music .
Sometimes my girls loved me singing 🎵 and other times when they were in a rotten mood ( teen girls 🙁) they’d tell me to shut it down it was annoying.
i mainly sing alone in the house to favourite music ( detached thank goodness 😅😂 )

You can’t possibly have kids @BeanQuisine

because to sit there when everyone’s singing happy birthday to your child, with your mouth clamped shut to make a point… well, unfathomable

But not so good for their mental health by the sounds of it!

The entire tone of the Op is high drama and very emotional al and overwrought.

I imagine her family are just a bit tired of the overblown tendencies

This….
it can be very annoying when someone is always singing, and hurtful as it is your whole family have agreed. Nothing worse than someone bursting into an out of tune song, they’ve probably been longing to say something for years, it’s probably very embarrassing too if you do it in public.
Just restrict your singing to when you’re in the house alone, and yes, do sing for his birthday, there’s really no point in making this whole thing into a mountain and sulking.
Sometimes we just have to accept that something we do totally aggravates others and it’s best to stop.

Even if you know others don’t like it?

It’s the old dilemma isn’t it - the right to free speech ends at shouting fire in a crowded theatre. Maybe the Right to sing and “let it all out” ends if it disturbs and annoys others.

I HATE it when dh sings. His voice is crap and he can't hold a tune. So I do tell him to please stop it when he's in the same room as me. My 12 year old ds loves singing and I love to hear him sing because he's happy even though he can't hold a tune 😅.

I'm on the fence because it does my head in when someone can't hold a tune- and the problem is they don't hear it. Can you ask someone who is objective @Situationallystuck ?

Nothing more cringy that a person bursting into random song all the time. The fact it’s unusual to not sing for one day suggests you’ve been doing it too much.

Oh gosh, I’m in two minds here. I voted YABU because I think you’re being a bit oversensitive and passive aggressive about the birthday thing. I think it’s quite healthy as a family to point out when things irritate us about each other. We can either choose to be sensitive to others’ irritants or we can just say ‘yeah well tough it’s the way I am’. Neither is right or wrong, but I do suspect that there’s a middle ground here.

Op, I do understand that you may feel humiliated over this but perhaps take some heed that you must have been doing it a lot in order for your family to bring this up. No one likes to criticise (and I’m assuming they are perfectly decent people in other ways) so I can only imagine that the singing has been a little too incessant.

Even if you have the best voice in the world, singing over the top of tunes on the radio can be deeply annoying for those around you. Sometimes you just want to hear the goddamn song as it was meant to be sung. I remember driving a friend home on a two and a half hour journey and she sang along to every song on the radio (admittedly really badly). I still remember that journey thirty years on 🤣

I sing. I sing a lot, and often dh will sarcastically say ‘hmm that’s lovely’ or, ‘that’s enough now’ and I’ll either playfully flick him the bird and sing louder, or I’ll chuckle and stop. My voice isn’t the best these days (and I too was in a select choir for a prestigious school once upon a time), but I don’t take it sensitively when asked not to. The dog doesn’t seem to mind so I’ll sing when alone mostly!

My DH is a ‘singer’. He was a choir boy back in the day and sung on several well known film soundtracks. He does often sing the same songs on repeat, change words and humm the incorrect tune. But this is his home too, I would never tell him not to sing! Please do not let anyone- loved one or nor, control your natural expression of your happiness within! Yes it may be annoying to them at times but NEWSFLASH ! I am sure they are annoying too! Please never stop being you. You only walk this way once, why walk it at someone else’s way??? And yes, it was not nice that he said that especially as you have sung for years! I would explain how hurt you feel.

Come on OP, sing if you want to - I miss my late Mum who used to sing along, DH just laughs, he says its part of me - join a choir Rock Choir or Tuneless Choir both meet local to me.... and so much fun !!

My young adult DD lives at home and sings along to whatever she's listening to. Always loud and always out of tune. Sadly she cannot carry a tune. What makes it worse is that she listens to her music through headphones, so we don't even have the background music to help disguise her voice. It's maddening.

Please don't stop singing.

I sing all the time. I don't have kids at home, just my partner and dogs, and they are well used to it. Especially if an 80s song comes on, I will sing along to the whole thing. I can also tell a song by its first few seconds of being played, and will sing along to that, too.

My voice is terrible but I know I'm no Mariah Carey. It's literally for fun. Honestly, so many people are so stuck up and tightly wound.

Like I say though, I don't have kids around to consider, and am sometimes alone if my partner works away so I do appreciate I don't have many or any people to consider.

Do you do it in public?