AIBU to stop singing around my family after their comments?

[Situationallystuck]

I usually sing when I'm happy. Little ditties and bits of tunes, sometimes a full on song. My voice isn't x-factor winning, but it isn't unpleasant. I was in a select choir when I was younger so I know I can carry a tune. I don't make a big deal about singing, and don't try and take centre stage with it at all, more like I'll sing along to a song on the radio or join in with singing at church etc.
Recently on holiday with my husband and teen children, my eldest said that they don't like it when I sing. I understood this to mean in public, which I get, teens don't want their mum attracting attention. I acknowledged this, but then it turned into a session where my husband said he thinks my voice is terrible and I should never sing. That it's horrible when I do. The teens nodded along. I was really hurt. But I figured maybe they got caught up in the situation, later I asked my husband if it was really that terrible when I sing and he told me that my singing should be best kept for when I was alone.
So, today, I didn't sing at all. They all keep asking me if I'm alright because they can tell something is different, but I haven't said a word about the singing and neither have they.
I feel like either the biggest fool in the world for inflicting my singing on the people around me or an absolute arrogant sod for thinking my voice was not unpleasant. I don't want to be a fool or an arrogant sod, so I've decided not to sing again.
I reckon the first time they will properly notice is when my husband has his birthday next month.
I guess my question is, would I be unreasonable to never sing to/with them again, even though I know they will be sad or hurt that I'm not singing happy birthday? They would obviously prefer for me not to sing at any other time.

Doing something badly or not very well doesn't mean you should stop doing it. Keep singing OP if you want to..

We all sing round the house - parents and adult children. To me it’s just part of being human. The only time there’s no singing is when someone is feeling really down. I’d hate to be in a “no singing” household.

Your family sound rather unkind, op.

Whether you can sing or not isn't the point. It makes you happy and they have been mean and hurtful. I would struggle too OP

Yeah, good voice or not I’d find singing all the time incredibly irritating and think you need to take your family’s views into consideration.

It also seems very petty not to sing happy birthday (which is entirely different to singing all the time).

Same. We are always singing, I am crap but I don't care. I can't NOT belt along to a power ballad on the radio etc

It does seem very self absorbed to always be making noise of any sort when your with company, especially if that company have expressed dislike for it.

I think this is it. Someone singing along spoils the enjoyment of music for everyone else.

When I'm listening to a song I love, I hate it when my husband starts singing along. His voice is fine but I want to listen the original singer!

The voice of reason!

I find people singing really annoying. Maybe I just haven’t heard enough people singing well in real life. My mum used to waken me when I was a child by throwing the curtains open and singing ‘Oh what a beautiful morning’. I honestly wanted to scream. DP sings tunelessly around the house and I have to bite my tongue not to offend him. His mum is the worst. She sings really loudly in a broad Belfast accent and gets all the words wrong, which produces a disproportionate amount of rage in me. If you’re going to pollute my lugs with your singing, at least get the words right. And the tune while you’re at it. I would say though, that I fully recognise this is a ‘me’ problem. I do sing myself when I’m alone. I sang to both my children when they were small. DS1 would say ‘again’ and I would sing the same song umpteen times. DS2 used to put his hands over his ears and order me to stop making that noise🤣🤣 Clearly takes after his mum.

It’s fine to tell you to sing a bit less around others, but not singing at all is bonkers! I hope you’ve told him to never breathe loudly or cough or chew loudly!!

I love to sing and couldn’t not! @Sirzy you sound quite mean spirited! I do think those comments from teenagers are hurtful but also should be given a bit of a wide berth as they’re teenagers and it’s the classic mean comment they like to chime up with as they know it’s hurtful, when reality is they don’t mean it and don’t mean to hurt you. More shame on your husband though not to acknowledge that not necessarily being excellent at something isn’t a reason not to do it. I think worth a comment to your husband that it was mean and generally just not a good life lesson!

Sod that! If I wanted to sing, I would sing. In fact what I would do is improvise on some songs. i.e. “It’s my party and I’ll cry if i want to.” Change to “It’s my life and I’ll sing if I want to, sing if I want to, SING IF I WANT TO…”

She may yet choose to join in the singing of Happy Birthday, not by singing, but by blowing rhythmic raspberries, which would serve them right. 😆

Anyway, I'd like to see her leave that miserable lot and embark on a stunningly successful singing career.

Then they'll say: "If only we'd been more supportive and encouraging! Now she's a world famous multi-millionaire with no time for us at all."

My DH wouldn’t have married me if he didn’t like or couldn’t tolerate my singing. It’s part of who I am and I do it A LOT. The kids are often singing along with me as well or singing their own little tunes while they play.

Don't stop singing OP. Never stop expressing your joy. Children sing when they feel safe and happy and it's probably not that different for adults. I'm sorry they've been so hurtful and taken that from you. That's just shit.

Is it mean spirited to expect some respect for others in the house?

singing sometimes is one thing but constant singing, especially when you have been told it’s too much at times, is selfish.

Do you not think they could have spoken to her about it and came to a compromise instead of just demanding after all these years that she just stops singing? They're hurt and embarrassed her, complete needlessly. She's a human being.

Growing up, my dad used to sing a lot, or he'd hum or whistle, and it never bothered me at all. He didn't have an especially good voice but I liked to hear him sing because it showed he was happy. I've read that people used to sing a lot back in the day, while going about their work or walking down the street, and it was just normal. When did we silence our voices?

It seems very sad to me and the saddest thing is the OP being told when she's allowed to sing and when she must be silent. She's not allowed to sing because she wants to, but must sing when it's required - that sounds really strange.

Ouch - there's a unique sting when someone tells you they're annoyed by something you've done for a while and thought was harmless. I used to have a couple of jokey sayings until one day DH told me they got on his nerves. Stopped instantly and never uttered them again! It's weirdly mortifying.

It's a shame with singing, though. My DM isn't the world's best singer but we always used to joke that she had a song for every occasion - when we were younger she'd match people's words to lyrics and burst into song. We sometimes rolled our eyes a bit but it's a fond memory. I hope you can still find an outlet for your singing.

The thing is that on holiday people tend to spend rather more time than normal in proximity with other family members, often in confined conditions. Even Celine Dion might be told to pipe down on a long car journey with family. I think holiday grouchiness might be responsible for some of this.

So no, you don’t. Hence your suggestion

They possibly could have handled it better but it does sound like they had tried to speak to her and she made the assumption they meant in public so carried on as she had been.

She needs an independent assessment of her voice

To manage a family disagreement? No she doesn’t. What an OTT solution.

I do think they should have been gentler with you OP. If the issue is that you’re singing a lot or loudly, it can be invasive and so they want you to do it less when they’re around but to tell you you’re a terrible singer was uncalled for. As PPs have said, even the best singer on repeat can become annoying.