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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be fed up with him always eating my food?

329 replies

DarlVader · 30/03/2026 20:48

Been seeing someone for about 12 weeks, he told me he had weight loss surgery a few years ago which makes it difficult for him to eat big meals. Fair enough. Issue is that he CONSTANTLY says he’ll “just have a tiny bit of” whatever im eating. Its driving me nuts. If we decide to get a takeaway he’ll say he won’t get one for himself but he’ll have “a tiny bit” of mine. If we get fish and chips he’ll “just have a tiny bit” of mine … but it’s never a tiny bit, its almost half everytime.

We went to cinema a few weeks ago, he said he’d just “have a few” of my popcorn … he ate more of it than I did. I swear most of it was gone before the film started.

So last week I snapped. We went to Lincoln and I saw some lovely looking sausage rolls in the window of a bakery and said I was going to buy one. He said “ooo yes they do look nice! I won’t get a full one though, I’ll just have a tiny bit of yours”. I snapped “no sorry, you’ll have to get your own, I’m not going to stand in the street dividing up a sausage roll”. He seemed suprised and said “oh! Ok … well I suppose I could get one and have half now and half later?” So I said “do what you want, it’s a sausage roll for gods sake”.

Rest of the day was a bit awkward! But I’ve had enough of it, it’s ridiculous.

He’s just asked if I fancy going to York this week and getting a Yorkshire pudding wrap. I replied “yes, one each” so he said “well I don’t know if I could eat a full one” so I said “well no then, let’s not bother”.

AIBU here?? I’m missing just being able to go out and eat/snack a normal couple!

OP posts:
Beatriz85 · 31/03/2026 21:19

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 21:14

Well firstly I know I can eat large portions and if for whatever reason I couldn’t on one occasion I’d take half home with me. I’m not going to go through life only eating half a portion incase I can’t eat a full one on the odd occasion

Well, and if you couldn't , you wouldn't go through life eating someone else's half of lunch!
If hes so restricted, he should just take a packed lunch with him!

outerspacepotato · 31/03/2026 21:22

@DarlVader , I admire your patience. I would have already stabbed him with a fork.

PrettyPickle · 31/03/2026 21:31

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:39

Update.

he messaged me this morning saying he’d been researching and he doesn’t think the Yorkshire pudding place (can’t believe I’m still on about this) doesn’t do small options so maybe we could go somewhere else.

I replied “I’m not bothered about the Yorkshire puddings, I thought we were going to York to sight see? A city full of history and all you’re bothered about is Yorkshire puddings! When I go somewhere on a day out I just grab whatever takes my fancy on the day, it’s not an important part of the trip”.

Anyway he replied saying it’s easy for me to say as I’m not restricted in what I can eat 🙄

I suggested we go to Fountains Abbey instead. Not a Yorkshire pudding or bastard sausage roll in sight

Tell him that you should each bring a picnic?

Paveparadiseputupaparkinglot · 31/03/2026 21:35

He clearly has an eating disorder and saying this makes him feel like he won’t eat a big portion even if he does anyway! I’d have the ick!!

Shinyandnew1 · 31/03/2026 22:19

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:48

No im going to call it off tomorrow, its not going anywhere is it. Can’t be bothered with it any longer

Good for you; he sounds like a complete tosser tbh!

Laurmolonlabe · 31/03/2026 22:24

Just say you are eating half, l need bigger portion.3

Woodfiresareamazing · 31/03/2026 22:43

bigboykitty · 31/03/2026 14:20

It's because he's a greedy cunt. He asks for a tiny bit, but eats loads. And doesn't pay. Do you realise they've only been seeing each other 12 weeks? He wants to go to York for the weekend to eat a bit of OP's Yorkshire pudding, and that isn't a euphemism.

That last sentence has made me laugh out loud - just hilarious!

Snaletrale · 31/03/2026 23:10

Do him a favour and tell him exactly why you are finishing with him. So that he can adjust his behaviour in the next relationship.

LBFseBrom · 31/03/2026 23:16

I did ask earlier but it has been missed, does he pay for things when you go out, eg theatre, cinema, fares or whatever.

I think, if you did continue to see him, it would be best to go to one of those restaurants where people graze, help themselves from a buffet, then you each take as much or as little as you like.

However the chap sounds so very complicated, and lacks self awareness, I wouldn't blame you one bit for giving him a miss.

There are more fish in the sea.

PinkNailPolish2026 · 31/03/2026 23:19

Snaletrale · 31/03/2026 23:10

Do him a favour and tell him exactly why you are finishing with him. So that he can adjust his behaviour in the next relationship.

I agree with this. Just finish it OP otherwise you’re going to go through life listening to his shite about small portions or wanting some of your food. Life’s too short for this nonsense. I can’t be arsed with people who rabbit on about portions, he can eat half, chuck it or take it home, he can eat it all if he wants, who cares, he’s boring. He’s obviously got some kind of eating disorder to act like this. Throw him back into the dating abyss…

ThisAutumnTown · 31/03/2026 23:47

The day you break up with him, order yourself your favourite takeaway and eat the sodding lot!
No more sharing your food with tedious wankers! 🥳

Cherryicecreamx · 01/04/2026 00:25

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:39

Update.

he messaged me this morning saying he’d been researching and he doesn’t think the Yorkshire pudding place (can’t believe I’m still on about this) doesn’t do small options so maybe we could go somewhere else.

I replied “I’m not bothered about the Yorkshire puddings, I thought we were going to York to sight see? A city full of history and all you’re bothered about is Yorkshire puddings! When I go somewhere on a day out I just grab whatever takes my fancy on the day, it’s not an important part of the trip”.

Anyway he replied saying it’s easy for me to say as I’m not restricted in what I can eat 🙄

I suggested we go to Fountains Abbey instead. Not a Yorkshire pudding or bastard sausage roll in sight

I read that as in he wanted to go somewhere else for dinner.. not visit a completely different place over a Yorkshire pudding! 👀

MissyMooPoo2 · 01/04/2026 06:47

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:48

No im going to call it off tomorrow, its not going anywhere is it. Can’t be bothered with it any longer

I’m horrified that he continued going on about the Yorkshire puddings when you very clearly told him you didn’t care and didn’t want to hear about it!

He really is obsessed with food and seemingly, unable to keep it to himself. Not listening to what you’ve said and failing to adjust his behaviour is much worse than nicking food in my opinion.

Clardigan · 01/04/2026 08:23

Life is about simple joys. And he is someone who sucks the joy out of every situation with his petty overthinking and obsessing about food. No thanks.

WonderingAndOverthinking · 01/04/2026 10:16

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:39

Update.

he messaged me this morning saying he’d been researching and he doesn’t think the Yorkshire pudding place (can’t believe I’m still on about this) doesn’t do small options so maybe we could go somewhere else.

I replied “I’m not bothered about the Yorkshire puddings, I thought we were going to York to sight see? A city full of history and all you’re bothered about is Yorkshire puddings! When I go somewhere on a day out I just grab whatever takes my fancy on the day, it’s not an important part of the trip”.

Anyway he replied saying it’s easy for me to say as I’m not restricted in what I can eat 🙄

I suggested we go to Fountains Abbey instead. Not a Yorkshire pudding or bastard sausage roll in sight

He’s not restricted on WHAT he can eat, he’s restricted on HOW MUCH he can eat (coming from someone who has also had WLS).

He needs to buy his own bloody food, cheeky git.

Your last sentence really made me laugh. Bin him off.

XMissPlacedX · 01/04/2026 10:34

What a fucking strange guy, not surprised you have the ick

AllTheChaos · 01/04/2026 10:59

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:39

Update.

he messaged me this morning saying he’d been researching and he doesn’t think the Yorkshire pudding place (can’t believe I’m still on about this) doesn’t do small options so maybe we could go somewhere else.

I replied “I’m not bothered about the Yorkshire puddings, I thought we were going to York to sight see? A city full of history and all you’re bothered about is Yorkshire puddings! When I go somewhere on a day out I just grab whatever takes my fancy on the day, it’s not an important part of the trip”.

Anyway he replied saying it’s easy for me to say as I’m not restricted in what I can eat 🙄

I suggested we go to Fountains Abbey instead. Not a Yorkshire pudding or bastard sausage roll in sight

FFS! He’s not even restricted! I manage, and for context I have a partially paralysed intestinal system as a result of my Parkinson’s, and can (a) only eat properly small amounts or it comes back up (sorry!), and (b) cannot have: cheese, milk, nuts, alcohol, tomatoes, spices, wheat, sugar, anything fried, fish, meat, caffeine. I accept that I will be sticking to things like fruit or a vegetable side dish when I eat out, and I don’t go on about it! I do also
always take a pack up with me when I’m out, just in case.

LatteLady · 01/04/2026 12:50

I am so glad that you are finishing with him before the weekend... I was worried he might ask some of your Easter Eggs, as he could not possibly eat a whole one, whilst devouring an egg or two...

bigboykitty · 01/04/2026 14:28

He sounds like a professional victim TBH.

DierdreDaphne · 01/04/2026 14:31

He really is obsessed with food and seemingly, unable to keep it to himself. Not listening to what you’ve said and failing to adjust his behaviour is much worse than nicking food in my opinion.

Very good point. I agree.

Shinyandnew1 · 01/04/2026 16:35

DarlVader · 31/03/2026 20:48

No im going to call it off tomorrow, its not going anywhere is it. Can’t be bothered with it any longer

How did the ‘calling off’ go?

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 01/04/2026 16:44

Fountains Abbey has a really nice restaurant and a lovely cafe down by the lake.. (misses point by a mile).

bigboykitty · 01/04/2026 16:45

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 01/04/2026 16:44

Fountains Abbey has a really nice restaurant and a lovely cafe down by the lake.. (misses point by a mile).

😂

Meteorite87 · 01/04/2026 17:57

Has he accepted he will have to be entirely responsible for his own food needs yet, @DarlVader ?

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 01/04/2026 18:00

He’s got an eating disorder and he’s getting you to think about food waaay more than is normal or healthy. Researching portion size before visiting a city is no way to live. I’d have an irreversible ick too. You’ve been more than patient with this.