Why Is the Woman Always the Villain? The Strange Logic of Blaming the ‘Other Woman

[ApriloNeil2026]

Reading a group on facebook about are we dating the same guy etc and a few people were blaming the woman for a guy cheating and being a marriage wrecker.

basically what the hell, in my view if the guy is married etc then why or how is it the womans fault in any way ?

There is NO valid or acceptable reason to fuck someone else when you are in a relationship with someone.

There is also NO valid or acceptable reason to knowingly fuck someone that is in a relationship with someone else, ESPECIALLY if there are children involved.

It doesn’t matter how shit the relationship is. That is simply an excuse people try to use to justify why they are a scummy piece of crap.

Are you really happy thinking the only reason your husband stays with you is because he's not had another offer though? Personally I'd feel better knowing mine had been tested and passed than keeping my fingers crossed no other woman decided to 'entice' him.

If you go into a relationship with a man knowing he is already in a relationship, you bare half of the blame.

Cheaters are scumbags but home wreckers are a hair's breadth above them on the shite scale.

Just what men need....more women making excuses for them thinking with their dicks 🙄

EVERYONE has the choice to get out of a relationship before they start shagging someone else.

Agreed

Scorned women? Fucking hell. You have no clue.

It isn't jealousy. Who wants a man who cheats? Seriously?

Imagine thinking the success of your marriage is in the hands of billions of women, instead of it being in the hands of the one man who willingly entered into the contract with you.
What a way to live.

Because women are always responsible for moderating men’s behaviour. First rule of the patriarchy.

In my experience I blame both. My ex for cheating in the first place but the woman he cheated with isn't innocent. She knew he was married, our children all attended the same club. We also weren't the first couple she broke up, we were the 3rd from the club as she made her way around the coaches.

Because we hold women to a higher standard than men

Cheaters choose their affairs.
They choose in every decision, action and justification during their affair.
They choose at every interaction that is part of, or takes them towards, their affair.

People don’t get ‘stolen’ into an affair. They willingly plan, collude, choose and act to get involved in an affair.

The other person doesn’t ‘steal’ the cheater. The cheater gives themselves to the affair, freely and deliberately.

This is too bitter a pill for some betrayed wives to swallow, so easier to blame the OW.

I beg your pardon?

Not at all. It takes two

The OW should have walked away when she found out the guy she was seeing was not actually single.
To carry on with the relationship, knowing she was fucking up the life of another woman... she is to blame too.

And EVERYONE has the choice to not have sex with someone who they know to be in a relationship.

Internalised mysogeny

but only one made a vow to be faithful

Which bit did you not follow?

And again, we're back to 'don't be a dick'...I dint know why affairs / fidelity are exempt from.that.

I was someone's OW for 2 years. I didn't want a relationship though. I wanted great sex. I got it with him.

He chose to go on the website.
He chose to cheat.
He was upfront about it from the off.
He knew what he was doing.

I hadn't made promises to his wife, he did.

Unsurprisingly, I wasn't the first person he'd cheated on his wife with.

I used to challenge him about his dishonesty to his wife often. Seems he's finally had the guts to end his marriage (or his wife found out he'd been cheating for years).

I saw him out with his new girlfriend last year and made sure I said hello to him. He looked uncomfortable. She was perfectly pleasant. I did wonder if he ever told her who I was to him.

I have known so many single girls who wasted their lives waiting for a married man to leave his wife.

One waited 12 years. She finished it when he took her out to dinner to celebrate - wait for it, his wife being pregnant. (he had told her that he and his wife never had sex !!)

My own exH cheated and he got the divorce papers a week after I found out. He went into a flat on his own. Finally he married her when she got pregnant 8 years later.

Other girls I've known have been given a list of excuses, for not leaving, longer than your arm.

We really need to say "I vow not to fuck a married man"?

I would never do that to another woman.

I feel like I am going mad here... if you are in a relationship... leave him alone. If he is in a relationship... leave him alone.

It is so fucking simple.

Just the bullshit theory that men are programmed to sow their seed because they are just big apes. Oh, and women are big meanies who can override this if we want too.

I am no fan of women who knowingly sleep with married men, but let's not make stuff up.