Why Is the Woman Always the Villain? The Strange Logic of Blaming the ‘Other Woman

[ApriloNeil2026]

Reading a group on facebook about are we dating the same guy etc and a few people were blaming the woman for a guy cheating and being a marriage wrecker.

basically what the hell, in my view if the guy is married etc then why or how is it the womans fault in any way ?

Yes, well. Some women have no idea their new man has a wife and kids, and are as innocent as the women whose partner is cheating on them.

Some are told that he's separated but still living in the same house for the sake of the children. They need to wake up and smell the coffee.

On the other hand...

Some women set their sights on a man and don't care whether he's in a relationship or not. They will continue their campaign of seduction until they succeed in getting what they want. Which is to steal that man away from someone else. There are more of those around than you'd expect, and for some of them, their motive is getting a thrill out of stealing someone else's partner from under their nose. They win. It's a game. It gives them power and boosts their ego.

Yep both morally fucked so I wouldn’t want either as a friend or partner.

indeed

because in this situation the guy is the cheater and not the woman, so on that context the guy is at fault

Nope they could still be an arse with me waiting to find out what that is. But I’m not going to befriend a ow or om.

There are always going to be dicks in the world. It’s how we respond to them. The husband always has the option to refuse the advances of said dicks.

ill admit the psychology of that is yes morally wrong but intriguing to study

I wouldn’t cheat but what about in other areas? If they lack integrity elsewhere but are faithful?

That said, the phrase ‘morally bankrupt’ makes me laugh when I hear it - it sounds like something from a period drama

I've seen threads here on MN where cheating wives are assured they did nothing wrong, and told that the other man was a predator.

OP did you want a disscussion or just to agree with people who chime with you? Ill ask again..are we free to act inconsiderate selfish dicks to anyone we don't know? Is that ok with you?

The cheating spouse is always to blame that said there is a particular kind of man or woman who thrive on chasing married people. Those with poor self esteem, attention seekers tend to get a thrill from being the bit on the side.

I think ultimately to be very good friend rather than someone you tolerate like the drunk uncle at Christmas you need to share the same set of values.

Cheating or being complicit in knowing cheating is a tick in the dick head box for me.

It’s the lying for me. I’ve always believed lying is a huge deal.

My children have been raised that sure they will get punished if they do wrong but if they lie about it as well then the punishment is worse.

Because I just cannot stand lying, don’t piss on me and tell me it’s raining. Be honest about your shit.

Within the law, we are in fact free to do that. Most of us choose not to but there is nothing actually stopping people except their own beliefs.

i know someone who cheated with her ‘friend’s’ husband. However the ‘friend’ deserved it as she had acted like a cunt to this person and nearly fucked her life up.

So she’s the inconsiderate selfish dick, and him?

surely if married men were strong enough and refused the advances of inconsiderate selfish dicks they would realise their behaviour isn’t getting them what they want and cease being inconsiderate selfish dicks.

I can always dream…

So is fucking someone then telling the wife okay? No lying involved.

The man is at fault of course. But I don't see the OW as blameless (unless she didn't know).

I read threads on here or on social media or on television and I am disgusted by some peoples actions, even though they are nothing to do with me.

So yes, I would be upset with someone who knowingly got involved with a married person. Especially one with children. It says a lot about both their characters. Divorce is hard enough never mind finding out your husband/wife has someone new already lined up while your life has been blown up. Why does an AF not need to have any morals? Why can't they also refuse to be involved in cheating until the person is separated? Surely for us to work as a society we need to bear in mind others feelings (to an extent).

But as I say I do believe the main person at fault is the husband of course. I just don't see why AF is completely innocent. I personally wouldn't do any sort of revenge or posting about OW, but I certainly wouldn't want to be friends with her and in my head I would be upset/furious. There's no way I could just be 'well, she's not married to me so I'm cool with her'.

Well sure but is that the only moral imperative? Don't break the law? Its a pretty low bar.

I think its partly what I said before. We are not 'as bad' as men. The most heinous behaviours are male not female patterned. Typically we are over represented in activities associated with kindness, empathy and self sacrifice. This creates an expectation of 'better' from us.
And just as the teacher comes down hard on the good kid who does bad while praising the bad kid for being less bad than usual, there we are.
Plus, from Adam and Eve, and no doubt before, there is a long history of trying to make women look as bad as possible so men are excused, or look less bad by comparison.
Men created this narrative for their self interest and in a society where they control the narrative, its hard not to internalise it.

No I said that people are free to act as they believe appropriate to their conscience.

And the moral imperative isn’t a ‘one size fits all’ and relies on everyone to adhere to it in the same way - that’s not going to happen.

Because most women will do anything but leave.

It is easier for them to pretend it was the OWs fault and therefore forgive their poor DP and give him another chance, then own up to the fact that if it wasn’t this woman it would have been another one.

It’s so embarrassing and the man knows he can do it again.

Some women actively target attached men. They like the sense of achievement it gives them when previously faithful men finally succumb to their irresistible charms.

Irrespective of looks, any woman who is knowingly the “other” woman is never more attractive. She lacks scruples, morals, basic decency and self respect. That is not attractive.
If she doesn’t know, not her fault. If she does? She’s partaking in the destruction of another woman and/or her family. That’s just a fact. It doesn’t detract in anyway from the fact that the husband is a gigantic twat who also lacks scruples, morals, basic decency and self respect. It simply means they both do. They deserve each other.

Because blaming the other woman means that they don’t have to admit that their partner is a cheating lying piece of shit

much easier to think he was led astray by another woman

And I don’t think that there is any such things as sisterhood and women sticking together

Well if you shagged a man then found out he was married and told the wife.

Although it would hurt the wife the other person would be owning up to their unknown mistake and trying to do right.

Shagging a knowingly married man and then rubbing it in the wife’s face would make you a wanker for other reasons of just being scummy human being with no morals and you would deserve the the shared title of being a homewrecker because you knowingly took part in wrecking a home. He would still be more a wanker but you’d be sharing the wanker spot. You don’t get to behave like a twat and expect a free pass for it.

Just like people who aren’t disabled and park in disabled parking spaces wankers. Those who abuse parent spaces, wankers. People who don’t pick up dog poo, wankers. People who litter, wankers. The list could go on and ow/om are definitely on that list.

discussion your free to discuss with each other and i thank you all for your views and contributions, my aim is asking why some people blame the other woman and not the cheater ergo the man, thats my point