Why Is the Woman Always the Villain? The Strange Logic of Blaming the ‘Other Woman

[ApriloNeil2026]

Reading a group on facebook about are we dating the same guy etc and a few people were blaming the woman for a guy cheating and being a marriage wrecker.

basically what the hell, in my view if the guy is married etc then why or how is it the womans fault in any way ?

Yep. 😂
You there, too, I guess. 🙂

more an observer, i did recommend carrying baby wipes / wet wipes it seemed odd going to the pub when you can carry the essentials or even wash in the water too but id prefer wipes and hand gel

I'm not saying she owes the wife anything. I'm saying that you would have to be a very exceptional person to not have negative feelings about the OW once you found out what she'd done.

Are you really telling me if someone you knew and was friendly with slept with your husband you would still feel the same way about her?

I did say that of course the cheating husband is responsible but my point was that it is totally normal and understandable to have negative feelings about the OW in this situation.

No she may not owe you anything but it's a pretty scummy thing to do. You obviously don't think that there is any problem with it so I'm afraid we'll have to disagree on that.

Yes, I'd have all the clean up supplies. ✅

Is "The Crabs Thread" about cheating men too?

🦀

no,

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5510462-was-my-request-reasonable-or-was-he-right-to-storm-off?reply=151396786

Beating people to death, having sex with siblings and throwing your shit (in public) are illegal, and result in punishment, which acts as a strong disincentive. Society, in most countries, places no such restrictions on extramarital sex.

IMO I think many people tend to make the OW more important than she actually is.
The OW isn't special, she's just available.

If a married man approaches any honourable married women, or any confident, moral single woman, they'd both tell him to take a hike.

OWs are low-hanging fruit without standards. You could almost feel sorry for them.

You are missing the point. Just because some primates evolved to "shag around" doesn't mean human males are compelled to do so. Or that women can "entice" them to cheat. It's a choice they make.

Just like Gary isn't compelled to lob a turd when his neighbour uses his parking space, he chooses to write a passive-aggressive note instead.

Evolution becomes a BS theory to explain infidelity when it focuses exclusively on males. Surely women are also programmed to want the strongest healthiest offspring possible? So I'm not sure why they'd be enticing someone's middle aged husband rather than going for the youngest strongest fittest guy they could find, at the peak of his fertlity when his sperm is at its highest quality?

Best first sentence EVER. 🥇
WELL DONE!!! 👏👏👏😂😂😂

Of course it does. Why do you think sex is so pleasurable? To compel us to do it. Humans can use their executive brain function to moderate these drives, but they can never rid themselves of them altogether. Depending on Gary’s personality, he might well be tempted to smear shit on his neighbour’s car. But his logical brain will realise this may land him in serious trouble, and he will choose to leave the note instead.

Can you imagine?! 😂😂😂

Those enticing women, I’m constantly having to remind men that I’m not interested, it’s the allure!
Are you a man?? Because I can’t imagine a woman believing this crock. Biology is not an excuse for bad decision making. We have evolved sufficiently that we are capable of personal choice. And even if a woman strips off and yells “take me I’m yours” if he wants to, a man can still say “no y’all right, I need to get home to my wife and children”

very true

Come on now. Fittest doesn’t necessarily mean youngest, strongest males. In the jungle, yes, these mates are most likely to be able to proved food and protection for their offspring. In modern society, the middle-aged man with the well-paid career, big house and car can fulfil that role.

No, I’m not a man, but I do have a background in biology and psychology.

Exactly.

As I stated in another comment - if you knowingly get involved with someone who you know is in a relationship then you bare half of the blame.

No. Can't be both ways I'm afraid. Either the biological urge is so strong it overrides the conscious thought or its not. You can't argue that men are so biologically driven they simply can't help themselves risking their marriages, family, half their assets and ending up alone in a flat at 55; while women will walk past the best possible biological mate for an middle aged guy with aging sperm because.....modern society...
Either both sexes are acting in accordance with modern society, or both sexes are apes.
You want a distinction because if you apply the theory consistently it devalues middle aged men as mates, and you're not comfortable with that.

“Lure the man away” 🙄

I agree with you OP but I also think the cheating man probably tells his wife that it was all the OW, he never liked the OW, he turned her down but she was persistent/felt bad for her etc. And the wife is probably desperate to believe his lies rather than face the reality - so it just becomes convenient to hate the OW and blame them. Definitely not right

If you genuinely have a background in this - you'll know that the best mating strategy for women is to settle with "safe/caring" males as mates, but then cheat with high-testosterone/attractive men during ovulation.

It's well known that biologically speaking it's advantageous for women to cheat as well.

And your evidence for this is ???

Just because you are a free agent doesn’t make it ok to sleep with married men.