Was my request reasonable or was he right to storm off?

[Unsurree]

I just don’t know if I am the problem. In a nutshell we bought raw bacon to put in nets to fish for crabs. DH was putting the raw bacon in while dd 3 was watching.

Affer he filled the net and put it in the water so dd could hold it, I asked him if he would go into the pub opposite to wash his hands.

He got really cross and stormed off muttering. There’s lots of moments like this and I just wonder if it’s me?! I don’t think it is but I would welcome other perspectives as he clearly thinks I’m unreasonable. For context I work full time as does DH but I am fully responsible for dd in the week due to the hours he works. I therefore try to avoid unnecessary risk of illness as there’s already lots of time off I have to take for sickness bugs etc and I thought it was a small thing to do to wash hands to be safe. AIBU?

Imaginary how?

None of us know the truth. She might be micromanaging him and he's had enough of being treated like that.

OP was wrong to ask him to wash his hands. His behaviour afterwards was also, in the snapshot given, wrong. But if it's the 20th wrong request that day, no wonder he's had a reaction.

It’s not like touching raw chicken, though.

if he washed his hands afterwards as I was worried dd would put her hands in her mouth

I think this is why he might have got miffed. Your request makes no sense.

Did you ask him to take her to wash her hands?

Why can’t you clarify how many times you would expect someone to wash their hands while doing a dirty job (including handling raw bacon}?

If it’s easier, imagine it was raw chicken.

It’s not “mean” to ask a question. Postong GIFs and accusing people of being ‘mean” does tend to undermine your point.

Voice of reason

He is not a child i would have acted like him if my husband did this to me

Not sure why you would take a 3 year old crabbing if you are so worried about hands going in her mouth! Makes little sense tbf. Do you not wonder where her hands are going and what she is touching the rest of the time? Im pretty sure from my time working in playschools we didnt wash hands after every activity. We'd never get time to play with them if we tried that.

You mean your more worried about your DD licking your DH's hand than your DD touching a fishing net that has been water with in raw sewage?

Your husband is a grown man - you are his wife - not his mother. Stop telling him what to do. If you’re that concerned about illness bring hand sanitiser and hand wipes - and offer them.

It’s very short sighted of you to worry about raw bacon - but not the bacteria in the sea water or on the crabs you and your child will be handling.

You're a control freak.
Don't tell another adult what to do. The end.

Nobody likes being told what to do. He probably felt a bit embarrassed.
Not sure what the answer here is - clearly you don’t want your child contaminated/made ill. Hopefully your husband will be more thoughtful next time.
Maybe try “I’m sorry I made you cross but I felt it was important.” What else can you say.

Oops..sorry. Didn't mean you :)

I think you've got the best solution. 👏

99.9 % of bacteria are not pathogenic. You are full to the brim with them from your teeth to your toot. Bacteria has to be pathogenic to harm you and even then, you have to have a critical load that overtakes your immune system.

My bad, sorry ...didn't mean you.. lol

It’s you. You are unreasonable.
there are plenty of explanations as to why above.

I doubt that uncooked bacon has much if any harmful bacteria on it. As others have said it will been cured. It’s not the same as raw poultry or even beef. Plus, it doesn’t sound like the activity was finished was it? Washing at the end would probably have been sufficient. I assume he’d be handling any crabs that they caught? Sounds a bit like you were hovering over him waiting for the first moment to bark orders and possibly killing the joy of crabbing with his son

I found a very interesting study:

www.food.gov.uk/research/behaviour-and-perception/not-washing-hands-with-soap-after-touching-meat-fish-and-poultry

Both washing hands after crabbing, go for a drink in pub, I’d not request he does it multiple times, the water will have been minging and may have been handing crabs,

YABU!
I wouldn't be letting in people to wash their hands if it was my pub!

Last time I was at Whitby there were dozens of people catching crabs with bacon- didn't see any of them running off to wash their hands in pubs after every catch! That would be nuts. You're only going to be at risk from food poisoning from raw meat if you put your fingers in your mouth- and even then the risk is miniscule!

If you are that finickity about this stuff- carry some antibac wipes or gel round with you.

Amazes me how many people have terrible hygiene standards. It's normal to wash your hands after handling raw meat. Basic in fact. Your husband is being a bigger child than your actual child, as are most of the people on here

Interestingly, it is still raw pork and, although cured, still poses a risk of salmonella and parasites. It is not the same as prosciutto, for example.

What do you do with the crabs when you've caught them?

Love it 😂

Seems pointless when you're putting your hands in sea water