AIBU to speak to the head about information being shared?

[Happyspring1]

Hello! Looking for advice on how to handle this.

so I am in a situation where an in law teaches my child (SIL) her mother (my MIL) went no contact with us last year over a lie that was said and lots of false accusations. She has not seen her grandchildren since last year (apart from the few times I am getting to) and the emotional stress and upset it has caused on us all has been alot to say the least. Trying to deal with tears from the kids and sending them to school to be taught by a woman who is part of the reason their grandmother went no contact has been very hard. The biggest concern I face now is that I am aware that information about my children is being passed on to their grandmother via the SIL (teacher) things I do not wish for her to know any more as she made the decision to taker herself out of our lives. She somehow manages to find out and get access to tickets to school concerts (i know full well that her daughter gets her these tickets) and turns up at the right time and place that she could only know if she is being directly told by someone. She knows if they have been off school or unwell so whenever kids see her “show up” it causes huge distress all over again. I plan to speak to the headteacher soon but wondering how much she can actually do about it? This woman is a hood teacher in that sons work is coming along great … its just i don’t want her passing information on about my children to anyone!

Ultimately, there will be a complaints policy that will be published on the school website. That is what needs to be followed. For all we know, the SIL could be a DSL!!!

It all sounds really dramatic and unpleasant for your children. You are in daily communication with your FIL and your SIL teaches your son, so you are completely entangled with the family. Unless there is some sort of abuse involved, I wouldn't drag the headteacher into your family drama. It will make you all seem ridiculous. Can't your husband sort things out with his mother and at least get to an amicable stage in all this.

The point I am making is that people should not be discouraged from talking to safeguarding staff by being told that those people are not the right people to talk to.

I’d be moving them from that school and having a lot less to do with FIL.

Mine used to when I was a young teacher, particularly when I had written the play 😳

However, I don’t want to derail and I think it’s unlikely this is happening in this scenario.

They are unfortunatley not the sort of people who want amicable its been tried. Ive never ever ever seen such a thing before

Sometimes other parents pass on tickets to other families , be careful you don’t accuse the SIL unless you can prove it .
I would discuss the issue with headteacher so she’s aware of a sensitive situation though .

Im not going to accuse. I want explanations and I want it to stop, how is this person getting access to tickets when its 2 tickets per family and its certainly not the family buying them. How is she becoming aware? I want answers and i want my children privacy protected from people who have decided they want nothing to do with them but get a kick out of power playing me.

Nobody is discouraging anyone. I was simply saying when you ring, you may as well cut out the middle man and ask to speak to the head