AIBU to be baffled by colleague on same wage living lavishly?

[Cherryred2]

AIBU to think that some people are so unaffected by the COL and to find it strange. A woman at work is just living a life that seems so alien to me and the others. She is just back from a weekend in London (not for any reason), went to a show, had dinners, shopping spree etc. last year bought a new house and a new car!! Is doing a Disney Paris and Paris holiday this summer! Is going on another trip to Budapest with her sister,spa weekend with her mum and sister, a few days to Rome with her DS because “he loves history and would love to see the colleseum and is thinking of where to go with her dd because she has to make it fair. I asked her if she had plans this weekend and they were out for dinner Friday night and Saturday night for two different celebrations. I’m constantly thinking WTF! The crazy thing is we earn the same which is approximately 50k, I mentioned a credit card last year and she said “oh no I don’t do credit cards, never had one, I hate them, I’m so fearful of debt, mortgage is my only debt and I overpay on that!” I’m baffled!

Or a part-time high-class whore.

What does her DH do for a living? What does yours do?

You can’t possibly know this.

The obvious answer is, her finances are different to OP’s. Being on the same salary means nothing.

You haven't mentioned a partner - if she has one earning megabucks, or at least enough tp fund their essential costs, then her £50k is "fun money" for them.

Key bit of info OP hasn’t commented on is so they have a DP/Dh?

Inheritance, investments, property, rich partner, another income source from somewhere. Lots of people have access to more money than they earn at work.

These posts are ridiculous. What do you want us to say. Nobody knows. But the answer is - she has more money/debt than you.

Investments. A high earning partner. Family trust. Inheritance - may have come down from grandparents vs parents. Not sure why any of these possibilities would be baffling?

That's quite an assumption. I'm on less than 30k and aside from mortgage don't have any debt and never have. What makes you think that can be the only way people are living?

I know right? its completely bizarre to me too.

I cant imagine spending time trying to work out what my friends earn or how much they have. I couldn't give a shit.

That time is far better spent working on your own investments and income streams than it is worrying about other people

Likely she has a smaller mortgage than you, and her partner earns more?

Yes, the simplest explanation is probably the closest to the truth.

It could be anything couldn't it? I work for minimum wage but have a combination of fairly well off parents and a husband who earns more than me so I probably have more than my colleagues. That said, I wouldn't go around telling them all about it. Does her lifestyle bother you? Does she come across as a show off?

OP, that’s such a bizarre comment to make. You have no idea about your colleagues’ financial situations, including hers.
A friend of mine just won a six figure sum on her premium bonds. I bet she didn’t tell anyone at work about it.
Your colleague could have numerous sources of disposable money, from anywhere.

I would presume it's the husband being a big earner.
I work as a TA and I always feel several other TAs have much more than I do despite the low wage, but then discovered that their husband's do have well paid jobs and that in the case of two colleagues they don't actually need to work as technically they could live off their husbands salary but working as a TA gives them the extra spending money.

I always think some of Mr Monkey's colleagues think this about him.

He works in specialist retail in an averagely paid job, but worked for most of his career in a much better paid profession. He shifted careers a few years ago to something related to his hobby after redundancy and burn out. He paid off his mortgage on a London flat in his mid 30s and we used the equity to buy a home in a less expensive part of London with a very small mortgage that can easily be covered with one salary. Also I earn about 4 times his current wage which means our lifestyle is signficantly better than that of many of his colleagues.

On the flip side it is not as good as that of many of MY colleagues whose partners are are in similar paying jobs as them.

Could be inheritance from another relative such as a grandparent.

Lottery win, not enough to give up work, but enough to enhance lifestyle.

Her partner could earn a lot more than yours.

There could be other things she doesn't spend money on that you do - cars, groceries, mobiles, TV./broadband etc etc . The difference in cost between just paying the normal price and getting a deal is massive.

Half of MN thinks it costs £200 pw+ for basic family groceries. If you shop for deals and eat mostly unprocessed vegetarian food you could do it for under half that, so there's £100 pw for other things right there.

Your phone could be a £5 sim only deal and a £200 Android phone replaced every 4 years, so average cost under a tenner a month or it could be a new iPhone on a £60 pm contract, another difference of £50 a month.

Is your car a £500 pm leased gas guzzler or do you buy a 3 YO small engined petrol car that you keep for 10-15 years?

Some people have 'full Sky' or all the subscriptions, others only ever have one or two and get those at a discount (we currently have 2 that are both half price due to Black Friday deals, we won't renew and will swap to something else before they end).

Repeat for all manner of other things and you have many reasons why some people's money goes a lot further than others.

Then you can get deals on travel and experiences, Groupon, hand luggage only Ryanair flights and less expensive accommodation and weekend breaks in Europe don't cost that much.

If I go to London I wait until I can get a cheap train ticket.

I'm always going to exhibitions and attractions like the Yorkshire Sculpture park, but I have an art pass so it's £80 a year for unlimited entry and exhibitions are free or half price so up to about a fiver or so instead of £10-15+

I almost never buy coffee out of the house and my lunch at work is almost always leftovers. I do eat out fairly regularly but that's usually one course and beer (because that's mostly what I want) rather than 2/3 courses and wine, which would cost far more.

I get loads of points from a credit card and discounted vouchers so my money goes a bit further. I actually make money from credit cards by borrowing at 0% and earning interest on savings. It all adds up and what appears to be a similar income goes much further, it's look after the pennies and the pounds look after themselves in action.

DH earns £££
family wealth/inheritance
got on the ladder early
only fans/side hustle
crime

A friend of mine just won a six figure sum on her premium bonds. I bet she didn’t tell anyone at work about it.

Exactly. I inherited money but there's no way on earth I am telling anyone at work about it 🤣

Why on earth would I?- so I can have lots of people ask me to lend them money or make snarky comments about "alright for some" or invest in their stupid get rich quick schemes?- No thank you.

I am now wondering if my colleagues judge me too!

Despite the cost of living and a modest income, I still spend weekends in London and by the coast. I still go on at least one decent holiday abroad per year.

I paid off my mortgage 15 years ago, and have been saving / investing the difference since. That makes a huge difference.

There are also a few money saving hacks I use, much like @Bjorkdidit

I live in an area where people want to visit, so my home on a house swap website. When I stay away, the accommodation part is effectively free.

Just seen you both earn 50k… That is a large wage (outside of MN anyway) so that kind of lifestyle isn’t a surprise. And if you are earning that much, presumably you are intelligent enough to appreciate that people have different lifestyles even with the same salary?

On of my closest friends is a TA, her DH earns several million per year.

another friend works part time in retail, her DH is an equity partner in a magic circle firm

Its not hard:

1. Partner who earns well
2. Inheritance from a wealthy relative/friend - my friend ended up with a fortune (over a million) after a great uncle died - he was gay and had never married
3. Other source of income/business - maybe got lucky on the stock market
4. Debt - though I suspect this is less common than people like to think

Actually perhaps you could explain to her that you have consulted MN and could she explain exactly how she spends her money as there have been quite a few suggestions 🤣

Car on finance and doesn’t view as a debt because it can be given back at any time? Husband/partner well paid, inheritance, no children? All mounts up.