AIBU for scrolling big penis videos after husband keeps commenting on boobs?

[MelonsVAubergines]

I have pretty small boobs. Not non-existent but certainly not of notable size or the first thing anyone would notice about me.

DH has always loved big boobs. Not a porn addict or anything but all of his social media algorithms are clearly influenced by lots of looking at ample chested women. Fine, whatever. He also has a habit of constantly commenting on boobs in media. We were watching a film just now where a female character is based on a character in a game. The woman in the film had absolutely massive norks. He starts banging on about how the actress's boobs are tiny compared to the game character, finds a pic, starts waving it at me.

I've asked him repeatedly not to bang on about boobs. I accept he likes big boobs despite the fact I don't own a pair, it's probably my own issue that I feel uncomfortable when he's going on about them because I hate mine after 2 x pregnancies and significant weight loss. But tonight is yet another instance of him not being able to keep his big boob loving mouth shut (this happens repeatedly).

So instead of once again reminding him that I'd really rather not discuss giant boobs with him at every opportunity, I've scrolled through videos of gigantic hard cocks while he's still rabbiting in about boobs. He has ED issues and while he's not poorly endowed the monsters I was looking at were significantly larger than his.

He clocked what I was doing and started huffing. I parroted what he says to me when I ask him to shut up about boobs, "but they're not as good as yours" using the same half arsed tone and everything. Funnily enough he wasn't impressed and has stropped off to bed saying it's not the same and I'm being completely ridiculous.

AIBU?

It's not a 'boy', it's an idiot. Not all teenage boys are as horrible as this 😂 Personally, I don't think they sound compatible sexually/romantically, but it's up to OP to decide whether she wants to stay with this man or not.

I think what OP did was fair; her DH clearly doesn't do subtlety, so a more obvious (and yes, immature, but who cares?) approach seemed to be called for.

This. And definitely don't initiate any sex with him.

This thread is brilliant. So funny! Well done to OP.

I think you handled it perfectly! Well done OP

It's because breasts have been hyper-sexualised in (most) industrialised societies for the past 70 years or so.

I couldn’t have married someone who was such a complete and utter troglodyte. I know I should feel more sympathy for you but what on earth were you thinking. I’d think my DH had brain damage if he couldn’t stop mentioning boobs. He’s like a child. He’s either stupid or he’s doing it on purpose, neither are great. God I’ve got the ick from here.

cold, but i get your point, and your right @MelonsVAubergines

Well done! More boobs, more cock should be your mantra from now on.

Genuinely, I want to know from him how it’s not the same..

He sounds very very immature!

I really don’t think that was unreasonable. You have repeatedly tried to talk to him about your feelings and he has not listened. He needs to explain why he believes it is different instead of stropping off like a teenager. Every bit of his behaviour is immature and unattractive.

Speaking from a male perspective.. YANBU, in fact that’s magic.. plus he might like a big wanger to look at too

I think the remote tribes who don’t consider breast sexual are the outlier here. In most of the world, they are. Breasts being de-sexualised is never happening

They are nowadays, yes. At different points in history, statues and portraits of women didn't all have huge breasts.

Maybe East Asia is the only place where breasts are less/not sexualised, where almost all of the women are very small framed and small breasted.

Probably has ED from watching too much big boob porn!

Ewwwwwww! I couldn't live like this.

Couldn't have a relationship with a sexist pig who objectified women like this and then vocalised it. Sure, everyone has their tastes, but this is crass, insulting and disrespectful.

I think people should look for someone who fits their taste, instead of someone who doesn't, and then body shaming them.

@TinyPlanet This is interesting. https://www.sciencealert.com/no-you-re-not-hardwired-to-stare-at-women-s-breasts

Hahahahahaha well played OP. 🤣

Well done OP!!!

but I’m not sure it’ll click. Somehow he’ll find a way to make that worse and he just won’t get it.

I’ve had many a disagreement where I’ve used their behaviour back to them and somehow it always backfires. Sad.

do let us know if it’s worked though!

He sounds like an utter twat. So incredibly unmanly and embarrassing. Very surprised to hear he doesn't have a tiny one because it is giving SDE.

This "small dick" energy bullshit is exactly as objectifying, crass and disrespectful as the "big tits" stuff.

That was the intention to be as disrespectful and crass as him but I take your point and agree it contributes to a wider issue.

Firstly.. yes, he sounds like an arse, and had it coming.

But I am going to slightly push back on the idea that they are the same, and it is a fair comparison. Yes, both are about size, and yes both can relate to a preference...

But there are also differences that make it a bit less fair.

Penises are much more essential to the success of sex. Breasts don't determine whether a man "feels" anything or not, whereas size/shape/ED issues directly impact what a woman feels. Hence why men can get far more depressed about it...

Equally, Women tend to support other women, and there is a societal pushback against shaming women for the size of their chest. Imagine going to a group of women and saying "My husband said a bad comment about my small chest!!" - you will get sympathy (as in this thread) and get told that plenty of men love smaller chests.

But if a man came to a group of men and said "My wife made a bad comment for the size of my small cock!!!" - he will get teased, humiliated and laughed at by the other men (and women) around him. No one will say "hey mate, look its fine, there are plenty of women who love small dicks."

Also, lets be 100% honest, there are plenty of men who like smaller tits... but are there really women who openly declare their love for small cocks? I've known men who are full of admiration for smaller breasts, but I've never met a women who openly goes looking for small cocks...

However, in the other direction. Breasts are far more visable/open, whereas men can "hide" their size in public.. so that would be an area where pensies are actually less sensitive as a topic.

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So, yes he had it coming, and yes it was fully deserved.. but no in general, I don't think they are entirely fair comparisons. and the insecurity and worry on both sides is a bit different.

Good work!