AIBU for scrolling big penis videos after husband keeps commenting on boobs?

[MelonsVAubergines]

I have pretty small boobs. Not non-existent but certainly not of notable size or the first thing anyone would notice about me.

DH has always loved big boobs. Not a porn addict or anything but all of his social media algorithms are clearly influenced by lots of looking at ample chested women. Fine, whatever. He also has a habit of constantly commenting on boobs in media. We were watching a film just now where a female character is based on a character in a game. The woman in the film had absolutely massive norks. He starts banging on about how the actress's boobs are tiny compared to the game character, finds a pic, starts waving it at me.

I've asked him repeatedly not to bang on about boobs. I accept he likes big boobs despite the fact I don't own a pair, it's probably my own issue that I feel uncomfortable when he's going on about them because I hate mine after 2 x pregnancies and significant weight loss. But tonight is yet another instance of him not being able to keep his big boob loving mouth shut (this happens repeatedly).

So instead of once again reminding him that I'd really rather not discuss giant boobs with him at every opportunity, I've scrolled through videos of gigantic hard cocks while he's still rabbiting in about boobs. He has ED issues and while he's not poorly endowed the monsters I was looking at were significantly larger than his.

He clocked what I was doing and started huffing. I parroted what he says to me when I ask him to shut up about boobs, "but they're not as good as yours" using the same half arsed tone and everything. Funnily enough he wasn't impressed and has stropped off to bed saying it's not the same and I'm being completely ridiculous.

AIBU?

I also made a snap boob thread a few years ago, OP. Thankfully, not as insensitive and rude as your DH, but still hurtful. Not nice being with a partner who isn’t wholly attracted or thinks something is missing.

I haven’t had issues for a good while now, and he’s complimentary and reassuring.

To be honest, he probably cracked it when I stopped wanting any kind of intimacy and was just massively turned off.

I was also told to search for penises, that wouldn’t have worked in my case as no size or ED issues, but it’s quite funny that you actually took the advice (and it worked?!)😂😂

He probably did and they dumped him for being an idiot.

He does. She's tried talking to him, it isn't sinking in, so now she's at the end of her tether.

All joking aside why are you married to this arsehole? What does he actually bring to your life? By all means keep making him feel shit but showing him big dick pics but honestly is that what the rest of your life is about? He sounds like a fucking creep.

I definitely understand the sentiment, and if it gets the message across that you don’t appreciate his comments then definitely go ahead and do it.

I, however, always fight against the sexualisation of boobs. They’re not a sexual organ, they’re a sexual characteristic. Boobs are closer to beards and adam’s apples than penises (penes? penii?). It annoys me when people sexualise them, although admittedly it feels like I’m fighting a losing battle with this one!

Who cares if it’s immature to respond like for like. OP has repeatedly told her dh she doesn’t like or appreciate these comments about boobs, and he keeps doing it. A taste of his own medicine is what he deserves in this instance and hopefully that message will be received loud and clear.

Agree! I understand that it hurts the OP, but I don’t think sinking to his level is the right approach. Just because you married a boy instead of a man doesn’t mean you should start acting like a teenage girl.

🙄

That makes sense!

Oh yes, my mistake. I thought marriage was about building a life with someone you can actually be proud of.

What a heartwarming story for the grandkids: “Your grandfather cared more about big boobs rather than my feelings. No worries, I returned the favour by looking at massive cocks. Make sure you find a man who treats you like this too!”

This. And this x100 if he comes out with shit like this in front of your children.

My dad used to make wildly inappropriate comments about my body. I remember him commenting on my breasts once in front of a couple of his colleagues. To their credit, both of those blokes looked at my dad like he'd just sprouted horns. Arsehole.

Next time you see him naked snigger..

I think you need to up your game even more @MelonsVAubergines start ogling handsome buff dudes in the street.

I can definitely see the attraction to looking at massive hard cocks but I never did get how 2 lumps of fatty tissue on someone’s chest can be such a turn on.

Just wondering what your next steps/solution would be. OP has tried 'using her words' but not getting anywhere

She did. It says in the OP.

I don’t really understand how you and he ever got together. You’re not his type, and he made that clear, and continues to make that clear, and has a fetish that he is somewhat in the grip of. He sounds so unsuited to you. Do you get on famously in other ways?
tbh, I’d not want to sleep with someone like him. Or are you also very into big boobs? I suppose if you both adore vast norks, maybe that works.

Maybe use her suitcase.

Just ask him why he bothered to marry you, was it so he could spend all day whining about your boobs and playing the victim?

Agree. I usually don’t say this when it comes to marriage, because these days it feels like people find it easier to leave than to work on things.

But in this case, OP, your husband is hurting you on purpose. You’ve told him many times not to do this, yet he keeps doing it.

I’m not sure what’s behind it—maybe he’s trying to make you jealous, getting back at you for something, or he simply has his issues. Either way, I would never tolerate someone treating me like that.

I would give him an ultimatum: he goes to sex therapy, or I’m out the door. Getting to his level will only start a dangerous game: let's see who can hurt the other more. I would not want to be in a relationship like that.

That's absolutely disgusting. How old are you and your dad, if you don't mind my asking?

I hope you didn't get a boob job because of how your dad made you feel, but if you did it would be understandable. Those views we form about our bodies during our teenage years are difficult to shift.

Doesn't mean OP should have to stick with him now and be body shamed though. Surely there's a large breasted woman out there who would be compatible with him....?

It's going to take a long time before Western societies (or their men rather) manage to realise this. In some non-industrialised, hunter gatherer societies, the men and women alike see breasts as feeding instruments for their babies. There was one anthropological study (I don't have the reference, but I'm sure Google would bring it up if anyone is interested), where some of the tribesmen laughed at the Western researchers who suggested that breasts were sexy. So it's just interesting how sexualised breasts have become for Western men over the past 60/70 years, probably since the 1950's and Playboy, Marilyn Monroe etc.

I'll leave it there. Hope OP manages to leave this idiot if that's what she wants.

Henceforth address him as: 'hey limp dick'

Serves him right. Maybe now he will stop doing it.