Fed up with friend's dog

[Sally20099]

I’m utterly fed up with one of my friends always bringing her dog to our house. Whether she’s dropping in for a 1hr coffee or her full family come around for a couple of hours she always brings her dog. Everyone knows I am not a dog person; it is not a secret. I have two cats who I have to lock away in another room as they are indoor cats, I have to move all the cat food and cat trays as well. They spend the entire time terrified of the barking and hide under the bed. The house is not decorated for dogs - expensive carpet throughout. The dog is left alone all day while they are at work / school and has a walker visit. It can wait on its own for a couple of hours if they go somewhere that isn’t set up for dogs and they aren’t welcome. I love their company and the our eldest is best friends with their daughter but I am sick of the complete lack of bother about my preferences on this. Im not asking them to leave their children at home, it’s a stupid dog FFS. I obviously could be explicit and say don’t bring your dog, but I know she will get really upset - she’s one of these people who think her dog should be able to go into any pub, hotel, park area etc. it’s driving me nuts that she’s so dismissive of my feelings and would rather inconvenience me over herself / dog.

I was with you until you called it ‘a stupid F dog’…

This - please leave your dog at home we have been locking the cats away but it causes stress and scent marking vet has suggested no dog in the house or garden- please can you leave Polly at home from now on. Cheers

You are being unreasonable for calling it a stupid dog. It’s not their fault their owner is selfish. I don’t particularly like cats but don’t go referring to them as stupid. I was on your side until then.

You need to assert yourself and stand up for your cats. They must feel so let down and that their space is being violated by a smelly dog.

Tell your friend, no more smelly dog. Ever.

Sally20099
Just tell her ffs
She knows you're more of a cat person
But still rides roughshot over you in this matter AND disrespectfully at your house too
She probably assumes because you're "mates" you don't really "mean it"
Put her right
And state
Dog = no visit
Or you'll send the local cattery round to hers!

Why are people so vehemently offended on behalf of the dog (who cannot feel offence) that the op has referred to it as “stupid”. Perfectly normal way to describe something that is irritating you - “oh stupid thing” - hardly the put down of the century either is it.

I think they use that word because they lack the ability to hold a reasonable debate and have a limited vocabulary

Would it be overreacting to buy a gun? It would solve the situation really quickly...

My FIL has a clay pigeon shooting gun he uses for the foxes that sniff around his chickens.

Yes, overreacting. It’s much easier to have a quick conversation with a friend than to shoot yourself.

I’m a dog lover and really not fussed on cats. If I had cats and cats weren’t comfortable with a dog visitor I wouldn’t allow it.

Wht havent you said that she cant bring her dogs as it upsets your cats?

😆

So @Sally20099 pretty much everyone has said that you need to tell her clearly that she can’t bring her dog.

Are you going to do so?

Perhaps you could put a cage outside your house and lock the shitehound in that ?

It isn’t unreasonable to ask her not to bring her dog, it’s your home. you can even tell a fib and say something like “my vet said the cat’s are getting too stressed out by doggy visitors so we’ve had to put a no dogs policy in place. Let me know if you’d prefer to meet elsewhere when ‘dog’ is with you “

I love dogs but I have two cats, there is no way anyone is bringing a dog to my house.

Your poor cats - their house is their safe space and you are allowing someone to bring something that scares them into their space. Not just once multiple times. You are being very unfair to them - your job as their owner is to make sure they are healthy, happy, safe and loved. I wouldn’t be feeling safe if I was your cat.

If you can’t manage the word no then at least no longer meet up with your friend at your house.

Ok….. I do have a dog but tend to leave her at home and would never take her anywhere without an express invitation. But anyway, the point remains how the hell is she supposed to know unless you say something. You seem to be a bit crazy, maybe just talk to your friend.

You are being unreasonable not to have said, you can’t bring a dog in my house I have indoor cats. If she gets upset then she gets upset.

Maybe the dog is stupid? They can’t all be geniuses. Calling the dog stupid may be entirely factual.

But yeah, I’ve got 2 cats and if Jesus Christ himself knocked on the door with a dog, then I’d be telling him to feck off with the dog and come back another time.

How can she be disrespecting your feelings when you havent even told her your feelings about bringing her dog?

I have a dog, and I have cats. I would never take my dog to a friend's house if they had cats that would be scared of her/if they didn't want her to go. I have a few friends who have cats and I wouldn't dream of taking her to their houses, despite the fact that she curls up with our cats at home. Just tell her you don't want the dog because it is your cats' home and they are frightened of the dog.

This. You just have to stand up for yourself now and say something to your friend.

She supposed to know because it’s just common courtesy not to bring an anima to someone’s house unless expressly invited on the insulation of the householder. Such a social normal violation is affronting for the OP so she didn’t say anything the first time and then suddenly she is where she is, hoping it will be better but it isn’t.

Try reading the thread.