AIBU to refuse asking my celebrity friend’s husband for business help?

[Soontobesingles]

I have recently (in last three years) become friendly with a celebrity - her husband is also a celebrity and much much more famous than she is. I’ve met him three times in passing (he was polite but not really interested in me, which is fine).

My husband has never met this woman or her husband, though he knows I know her and have met him. When I say ‘friendly’, she and I have a common interest and meet a few times a year for social occasions, to go to events to do with our interest and we stay in touch by text and social media. She is hardly my best mate and I am very careful not to overstep because I am sure she has a lot of piss takers in her life. She is very nice and I like her company. Our shared interest is also very niche (think Japanese performance art) so it’s nice to have someone to share that with. We don’t discuss personal stuff really beyond the odd story about our kids. Anyway, recently my husband has got it into his head that her husband can do him a favour. Basically he wants her husband to reach out to his contacts that might facilitate a lucrative business deal for my husband. He has asked me to meet up with her to suggest this and arrange a meeting with the four of us. I have said absolutely no way, it’s cringey, embarrassing and would end my friendship. Her husband is obviously not going to set up a business deal for his wife’s weird art friend’s husband. It’s user territory and I don’t want to do it. Anyway my husband won’t let it go and has been going on for weeks. He is currently sulking and refusing to eat dinner with me because ‘I’m putting this woman’s feelings before my family security’ (he thinks he could earn big from the deal). His last thing was that I just want to be a celebrity hanger on and am letting the marriage down. I think I am being normal and he is unhinged, but need an outside perspective. AIBU?

I’m not sure how my friend could possibly recognise me from this since I have been incredibly vague and she doesn’t know my husband or that he’s asked me…or that I’m on mumsnet! The only info is that she is a celebrity with a famous husband and a niche interest! It could be literally thousands of people. Why would the press be remotely interested in this?

What an absolute cock.

If my husband asked this I’d think he’d either lost the plot or got really into drugs. Makes absolutely no sense at any level.

My bet is that even if Mr Celeb Pants did decide to put in a good word for him his contacts wouldn’t want to know!

Can’t help but feel your husband missed his moment 6 years ago when all those random businesspeople were getting PPE contracts because they were neighbours with Matt Hancock etc.

Show him this thread.

Snort laughing at this 😆

Seconded. He's done something and he's looking for a rescue.

That’s my thought too.

DH sounds really bloody annoying so I might not bother with the lying and just divorce!!

Yeeeeeeah, I mean, celebrities have training on how to spot people like your husband. You will never ever get that four-person sit down to start with, and you would most certainly lose your friendship just for asking (it must be so painful for that lady to have to constantly figure out if she has actual friends or just people using her to get to her husband), and it sounds like your husband’s business is in dire straits if he’s been on this for WEEKS. I would have told him to stfu and asked where the fire was (because there’s a fire somewhere) after about two days of this.

Out of curiosity… what’s Colleen Rooney like?!?!? Never imagined she’d be into butoh.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

Your judgement is absolutely spot on. Your husband’s idea is awful and would likely come across as being a user. It would also be horrifically embarrassing and possibly affect any friendship you’d have.

If his business idea is worth anything, it would be viable without a tenuous link to a celebrity’s contacts.

CelebW and CH will be used to it and feel sorry for you.

Has DH borrowed money against promises of deal with CH? That business won’t work anyway if that’s what it relies on.

Absolutely do not do it. Ever. Ignore him and his sulking.

It’s not so much that it’s a novel idea, it is that it couldn’t happen without access to her DH contacts. My DH does have specialist unusual skills, but there would be no benefit for friend’s DH. It’s not even in his area of work and he doesn’t need the money (which anyway DH wouldn’t offer), so no idea why my DH thinks it would be at all attractive to this person to help him. It’s like he is having a breakdown.

Ask him to think of his best, most valuable client. My BiL is an electrician and is always on the lookout for new contracts. Perhaps your husband could put in a good word for him with his client? After all, it would be no skin off his nose and would be a nice thing to do. That’s the level of how ridiculous he is being.

I agree with some of the previous posters; what’s behind this? Is it just a build up of hugely emotional incidents and a typical pig headed approach? Because the way he’s behaving is bordering on desperation and it would make me think all is not well in his business.

Cringe. I would say they will drop you like a stone if you do this.

“He is currently sulking and refusing to eat dinner with me because ‘I’m putting this woman’s feelings before my family security’ “

Except you’re not putting her feelings before family security, you’re putting your feelings first and he is unreasonable to expect you to do anything else. You value your friendship with this person, you don’t want to lose it and you don’t want to embarrass yourself by asking her/her husband to do this favour.

Stick to your guns OP and let him sulk like the baby he is.

I highly doubt it as surely anyone lending him money would
need evidence he is connected to this person? He would have none because as I say she is a newish friend I see occasionally. It’s not like my dad is Alan Sugar.

Oh no I’m cringing for you OP.

Er. I hate to say it but yes, I suspect something is desperately wrong with his finances. This has “I gambled away the kids’ university funds and I must make it right before wife discovers” feels. Could just be regular debt, but either way, something seems quite wrong here.

Still laughing over you and Wagatha Christie at the butoh (have you seen butoh??? It’s… wow, it’s a thing, for sure).

Men with money get this type of requests from friends and family all the time. It’s either borrowing money, investing in a business or tapping into connections. They are tired of it and the chance that that man will agree to help your husband is 0.0000001%

I have yes! Only in videos. Though it’s not the interest me and my friend share.x

I’m sorry to hear he’s having a difficult time and this is all caught up in it. For what it’s worth your instinct really sounds spot on and you’re absolutely not being unreasonable.

Maybe exploring the financial side of things with him together when he’s calmed down might give you more to go on?

Standing firm by your judgement sounds like a good call though.

I’d change your phone pin if tour DH knows it- if he’s desperate enough he might message your friend pretending to be you

Tell him you are not putting this woman's feelings above family security. You are putting your self respect and desire not to make a fool of yourself over his pipe dream that this man would help him. That there is no possibility whatsoever the man would involve himself, or even agree to meet, and by asking you would embarass yourself. And no amount of sulks will change that.

Maybe don't tell him it is cringey (which it is) but that it isn't going to work. Celebrities don't set up lucrative deals for acquaintance's relatives. Surely, he must realize that?!