AIBU for kissing DP on school run when DD dislikes it?

[Werze]

DD has had yet another massive go at me after school today. I broke up from her father when she was v young. Didn’t date for ages. Met a school run dad (now DP) in September, knew each other for a while then dated and went from there. Obviously we can’t see loads of each other so school run is one of only opportunities in week. Naturally happy to see each other and embrace/kiss as any normal couple would. DD kicking off saying she doesn’t want to see this.

AIBU? She can’t expect me to remain single for ever surely ?

This is all so right.

Also the point that a lot of previous posters mentioned that the OP is doing this on the school-run - her daughter’s domain - in full view of others. School is a place her daughter has no choice but to go to each day and be confronted by her peers. Meanwhile OP is deliberately exposing your private life in a ridiculously performative way and inviting her to be bullied. Where is her safe space?

I honestly marvel at the number of parents who appear never to have been a child themselves and have no idea how shamed and trapped this would make a child feel.

If you want a public performance go and fondle your bf at his workplace. Keep your daughter out of it.

If you see each other rarely enough that you need to carry out the bulk of your relationship at the school gates, are you sure you've reached partner status?

Surely this isn't real?

It won't just be your daughter who is passing comments. It will be other children, parents and teachers too.

Fairly or unfairly, it will be you, not him, that people are laughing at and they will be waiting for it to break up-as it may-so that they can enjoy you looking shamefaced at the school gate.

Pull back a little. It's not your first time around the block-your daughter is living proof of this-so have a little more dignity instead of providing a side show that your daughter is upset about.

Your daughter might warm to him more if you do.

Yuck. How performative and juvenile.

Adults would be able to control themselves in the playground, @Werze.

Get a grip OP.

No one needs to hug and kiss their partner on the school run. Of course your daughter is embarrassed and yes you are being unreasonable.

Dear god some people just don’t have the emotional intelligence to be good parents.

You might want to re-phrase that,because there's every chance the OP will take your advice quite literally in the playground.

😂😂

I would genuinely be interested to hear the OP’s opinion on how much is ‘too much’ for the school playground.

I quite literally can not imagine anyone thinking it is acceptable to be picked up by their boyfriend in front of children, outside a school!

Was it raining too OP because I’m imagining the scene from four weddings and a funeral now or the notebook with her legs around his waist!!

As adults you are capable of waiting until you’ve dropped your children off and left the school premises, even if you’ve not seen each other for weeks.

Why don't you care about her happiness enough to just not do it?

Daughter - mum I don't like it, you are making me uncomfortable.

mum - I don't care!!!

Great way to show your daughter your priorities.

Absolutely... squash down everything that makes you human or gives you joy, just in case it pisses your kids off.
I mean- you're a parent and that's it right? 🙄Toe the line OP ffs.

And then you wonder why they're entitled little twats later down the line...

Cringing for you, you’re making a right tit of yourself.
Why come here for advice and then make out it’s all a big joke?
I’m not surprised your daughter is embarrassed, just stop it.

No just learn what is and isn’t appropriate behaviour and this simply isn’t appropriate behaviour in the school playground on a school run particularly where her daughter has to live with the consequences

and there will be teasing

Yeah, no one needs to do this in public on the School run… how ridiculous!

👏 👏 👏

Get a grip.
Unless he was actually hanging out of her in the playground?
All kids think their parents are embarrassing at certain points- for doing normal things and frankly just existing at times.That's for them to get over.

It’s only been a few months, you hardly know him! I would find this embarrassing if I were a passerby, let alone your daughter. It’s nice that you like your boyfriend, but you need to chill with the PDA on the school run. You’re an adult!

Well done for embarrassing your child before she has to go through the gates. Excellent parenting. A+.

Urgh. She's distanced from her father, and you've been seeing a father at the school gate for only 6 months, and you do this at the school gate. How utterly clichéd and selfish.

You show absolutely no empathy for what your DD has gone through, and you are making this public display of frankly teenaged behaviour, in front of her schoolfriends. Yuk.

Bullshit are you adults.

At least not mentally if you’re genuinely behaving like this - even coming on here to post, it’s just attention seeking. “Oh look at me, I’ve got a boyfriend. Look how much he loves me, he can’t keep his hands off me or wait even a few minutes for a kiss”.

It literally sounds like a couple of 15 year olds desperate for the world to see their star-crossed lovers act. Either that or you are marking your territory, a warning to the other mums “hands off, he’s mine”.

Your daughter shouldn’t even know that this guy exists beyond being another dad at the school gates. You’ve known him for 7 months, been together since when? Around the year mark of dating if you think it’s serious and he is likely to remain in your life, then introduce him to your kid as mums boyfriend - and even then keep the PDA to a minimum. Let her get used to the idea of a man in your life, and the change to all your lives and routines. For gods sake, don’t go moving him and his kid(s) in for at least a few years until you ALL know each other really well, the kids all get along, etc. Same in reverse, don’t move in with him. When you are a parent you don’t have the luxury of being able to have a whirlwind romance. You have to take it very slowly because you have a child to consider.

I used to kiss my boyfriend fairly passionately outside work when I was 22 and he had walked me to work. I cringe so hard when I think back.

You know those threads where posters are invited to list words that they hate? Words that make them cringe from the inside out? How, oh how, could I have forgotten FONDLE? Adding that now to my previous ‘favourites’ - cuddle and smooch😆 There’s a theme …