AIBU for kissing DP on school run when DD dislikes it?

[Werze]

DD has had yet another massive go at me after school today. I broke up from her father when she was v young. Didn’t date for ages. Met a school run dad (now DP) in September, knew each other for a while then dated and went from there. Obviously we can’t see loads of each other so school run is one of only opportunities in week. Naturally happy to see each other and embrace/kiss as any normal couple would. DD kicking off saying she doesn’t want to see this.

AIBU? She can’t expect me to remain single for ever surely ?

how embarrassing - with your DD on this one

Me too. Get a room.

It sounds like you’re looking at this from the POV of an adult, not trying to understand how an 11-year-old might understand it and feel about it. If you think your dd is being unreasonable for not understanding that “it’s just natural to be excited to see someone surely” when he lifts you up, then you don’t know much about 11-year-olds. (Which you really should because you have one). She’s not your adult mate who’s going to be happy for you and ‘get it’, she’s your child. To her, her mother being lifted up and kissed by a man outside her school, like something out of a cringey 1950s rom com, will be absolutely mortifying! She also probably thinks it’s super cringe and gross (cos who wants to see that OTT display of affection from their parent 🤮). She also may be feeling uneasy, jealous, confused - if you haven’t dated since you left her dad, this is going to be a massive thing for her. Sounds like you’re minimising it, making it all about you, and not trying to understand from your daughter’s POV at all. You can’t expect her to just ‘be happy’ for you before she feels safe & secure and gets to know him properly (which imo she shouldn’t be doing after 6 mths. I’d date for a year personally, before introducing anyone to my kids). It sounds like you need to try to understand your daughter better

Omg your poor daughter. Have you considered the other children are seeing this as well and will be teasing her about it? Rein it in ffs

Your DD will be mocked by her classmates. 100%. It's no wonder she's embarrassed.

As school staff, I'd genuinely discreetly tell you to stop. I'd say it's because it's not appropriate in a school yard (which it's not) but it would actually be to protect the DD from the guaranteed piss taking.

Poor DD.

No I'm not jealous before any one pushes that boat out and it's nice to see happy couples but FFS, you sound like a couple of teens, can't you not get carried away until your d /kids go into school? A few minutes? No doubt there is some bitchy eye rolling from other parents. It's similar to the NT snuggling couple, a bit bleurgh. Your d probably gets teased about it too.

Yes YABU- completely inappropriate. Go for a coffee after drop off or something.

Dating another parent at your child's school is supremely selfish. This happened at our school the poor child was so embarrassed and it was a huge source of gossip etc. If you must date another school parent at least have the decency to keep it secret to spare your children.

No wonder OP name changed and has disappeared. Hopefully she has realised how her d must feel now, motified. It's not just m though, why does her p think it's okay to behave like that in public especially around kids?

I can just imagine what the other Mums are saying about this carry on.

Poor you: it's about time DD realised your needs come first.

This is ridiculously inappropriate. Your poor daughter.

You know it isn't normal. How often have you seen other parents doing this?

I mean-I’d be pretty embarrassed and they’re strangers to me!

This can’t be real. Poor child.

Nobody wants to see this on the school run, not just your daughter.

You are putting yourself first. The kissing gives her the ick. You and your partner know this yet you continue to do it. It demonstrates to her that he can make your daughter come second place. You are making a big mistake.

OMG - this is a new one, Performance Dating 🤮

It won’t just be your DD who’s embarrassed and wants you to stop.

This is such attention seeking behaviour from you and the other parent. Literally everyone will be cringing and rolling their eyes. Just stop.

Yep - stop it! At 11 anything that makes them stand out is embarrassing. Kissing what is effectively a school dad on the school run must be excruciating for her !!
Don’t mean to be mean but it all sounds a bit performative.

THIS

🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮

Your poor poor DD. She’ll be the laughing stock of the school.

Grow up OP.

Fondle? 🤮

Fo you see any other parents 'fondling' in the playground. You sound like an exhibitionist who doesn't care about her poor child's feelings.

I agree with PPs that this is too much involvement for your child for a six month relationship.

Disgusting.

Oh god you sound so grim 🤦‍♀️ start thinking with your head and not your fanny and spare your poor daughter the embarrassment

It's OTT to say you can't ever date someone who is a parent at the same school.
I've done it very discretely, it was totally fine, and nobody knew. Polite nod and smile when passing in the school yard, same as any acquaintance.

Really really GRIM.