AIBU for kissing DP on school run when DD dislikes it?

[Werze]

DD has had yet another massive go at me after school today. I broke up from her father when she was v young. Didn’t date for ages. Met a school run dad (now DP) in September, knew each other for a while then dated and went from there. Obviously we can’t see loads of each other so school run is one of only opportunities in week. Naturally happy to see each other and embrace/kiss as any normal couple would. DD kicking off saying she doesn’t want to see this.

AIBU? She can’t expect me to remain single for ever surely ?

I could not imagine seeing another parent at the school gate jumping into their partners’s arms, and being kissed as they were held.

Honestly OP, if you think that’s acceptable behaviour I don’t think anyone here can help you.

That's totally out of order. If I saw someone do this I'd assume they were a bit thick, and shit parents, and I'd feel really sorry for the child.

You've asked out opinion, over 90% of us have said you're wrong, and yet you seem determined to keep defending yourself rather than accept that maybe it's not a great thing to do.

The way you are both feeling and acting about this situation is entirely normal and understandable, but you need to reign in the PDAs at the school gate. Your poor daughter.

No to public displays of affection near kid's school, friends etc

That is too hard for them to cope with.

Fine in public places where you are anonymous.

Sort of got you to jump up…..?

🫣

Yes I think that would be cringe for a child at any age.

Kissing on the school run is a bit much to be honest. You should save it for alone time maybe.

Oh no, i just read about the jumping hug/kiss - even worse! Cringe! Soooo inappropriate! To be honest I am a teacher and I think if my colleagues and I saw that happening between two parents on the school run... Lets just say, it would be gossiped about 😂 Please save PDAs for a place that isnt filled with children? Its just weird

I hope this is a wind-up as you sound very insensitive to your child’s completely normal feelings. The school gates are not the place for PDAs. In several years spent at school gates, i literally never saw any parents or couples canoodling. This is not about whether or not you can date (why would you make that strange leap?), it’s about smooching with your boyfriend at the school gates. That’s just oddly performative and so uncool. I doubt any of the kids want to see it and those who know your DD will likely take the piss and not necessarily in a kind way. How is this not obvious to you? Just go smooch somewhere else.

You don’t sound like an adult.
your daughter should not be involved in your very new relationship at all.
nor should his kids.
You are behaving like teenagers.

I get you’ve been single for years, so imagine how hard of an adjustment this is for your daughter.

Blimey.
Surely you aren’t actually that lacking in self awareness?
Embarrassed for your daughter reading this.

It's bad that you do this at all in from of your child so soon, doubly bad thet you do it on the school run and really grim for her that it's with another school run parent. Mortifying. You must be stupidly wrapped up in him not to realise that and prioritise your children's feelings.

While it's natural to want to kiss your new boyfriend, it's better not to do it in ways that embarrass your daughter or make her uncomfortable, and at the school gate in front of her classmates definitely falls in that category. If you think the relationship could get serious, you're potentially setting up a really bad dynamic between your partner and his potential step-daughter if she associates him with public embarrassment and negativity.

How is he a partner if you only met him in September and don't see him very often.. surely that's still just dating
Anyway ,your DD is clearly not happy ,so pull things back

Ab sorry OP, it all sounds very lovely for you but also pretty immature. You’re a parent first and foremost.
also..
if she’s 11 she will be in secondary school soon, surely you can hold out for a few months
you’ve only met this guys 6 months ago and you’re kissing in front of your 11 year old daughter, yak
you could split with this guy at any point and how awkward will that then feel after your public shows up affection
jusg generally, be more of a grown up, that doesn’t mean having no fun, go and suck him off in the alleyway for all anyone cares just be a parent on the school run

YABU for calling someone you’ve been dating for 6 months your partner.

Exactly, you are adults. So why do you need to leap into each others arms and smooch like long lost lovers in a Barbara Cartland novel??
Weird 😂

The "DP" isn't posting though. If it helps,
both their behaviors sound immature and insensitive.

OP, your daughter deserves to have her feelings taken into consideration on this.

Maybe you've prioritised her for a long time OP, maybe things have been hard and you are in need of this relationship?

It's not that you can't have it, but would it really kill you to hold back from the kisses til she's through the school door?

i agree with your daughter.

I don't understand your thinking here. How on earth is it childish to NOT want to 'fondle' in front of kids/parents/teachers? & Of course your poor daughter who has told you that she doesn't like this?

I think it's childish to WANT to behave like this, there.

I once dated a man who lived near my children's school. We met for our dates just after drop off, at the park that's 3 mins walk from the school. Inside, the park, so away from the main road where the school is. He offered to meet me at the school after drop-off & I said no, as my early dating (& id call 6 months early dating, especially as you don't seem to see each other much) is nothing to do with my children & there's no need to make it obvious to the other parents either.

It was a risk, for me, that other parents could be walking through this park to go home, of course. & This happened once & I waved hello...

But I just genuinely don't understand your thinking here! & You seem to think it's funny, instead of being remorseful or even considering your DDs feelings a smidgen.

What they all said ⬆️

Exactly...so behave like adults and stop embarrassing your 11 year old daughter at the school gate. It is cringe just reading about it. Poor child.

Sounds inappropriate at a school anyway, but I’m with your daughter. Wait till she goes in school and a quick peck goodbye at your cars should tide you over?

@Werze yes you are two adults so start acting like it and both respect the fact that your daughter finds your behaviour (rightly uncomfortable) and that such PDA during the school run is inappropriate.

So inappropriate that she could both be teased for it and your behaviour judged as being entirely inappropriate by fellow parents

i’m 99% convinced this is a wind up now but imagine what any teachers looking out of the window think 😂