Mumsnet race to the bottom

[limeandwater]

I have noticed on MN there has been a real race to the bottom mentality. To be clear I am not talking about budget advice threads that can be incredibly helpful.

I am talking about the posters that think working people should be so accepting of a miserable life.

Again I am not talking about 5 star holidays in The Maldives, 26 plate Range Rovers, or shopping at Harrods Food Hall.

Somebody posts about the price of coffee then the response is to make your own and bring it with you. Somebody posts about the price of a cafe lunch on a family day out and the response is bring your own sandwiches. Somebody posted about the cost of running a car and the answer is cycle. Like that's realistic in a rainy December.

When did people get so accepting that life had to be miserable?

It is but you won't get soaking wet cycling in drizzly weather.

The amount of people wanting others to eat porridge is weird. Literal gruel.

It's what I do (through choice, rather than a lack of car)

I own waterproofs and keep a change of clothes in my bag for the occasions I do get soaked.

Well I would disagree, which just goes to show a previous poster is right - everyone’s joy is different.

I am a very busy working mum. Once a week I do a 60 minute train journey to the office - I used to buy a coffee, sit down on the train with my book and totally appreciate 60 minutes of quiet with a great flat white and no demands on my time from anyone. I now take a flask of coffee from home and a little snippet of joy is gone from that commute.

You can. Freecycle often has them and things like backpacks and panniers.

This is so true! Think that we were lucky that SM didn’t exist to compare with others !

I do actually have a bike (£130 second hand, needed a bit of work to get on the road), and I wouldn’t cycle in the rain without some kind of waterproof jacket. Not specialist kit or anything near but something to help keep the rain off.

I do work with people who have pretty much nothing spare. If money isn’t immediately needed for something (bus fare) it’ll get absorbed into paying another thing that is needed. It’s a pretty privileged life to have a network of people who could lend you a bike, and the ability to not rob Peter to pay Paul. Being able to find bus fare doesn’t mean it’s surplus money, it means getting to work takes priority over something else essential but less urgent.

Lol, really?

I don't believe you need to be privileged to know someone with a bike. Just look at any council estate they all have bikes lying around the grass.

Why is the ability to buy the coffee the thing that brings you joy? Surely its the quiet, the book and the coffee itself, the only difference is that you take your own? I do find that a weird mindset tbh.

And sorry, I bet your own tastes much better than train coffee, that was always pretty average when I used trains!

So what! It is actually a very healthy way to start the day, and is full of goodness, not to mention filling, and cheap. Maybe look up the health properties that it contains, before deriding it.

lol I’m the least problem person around, but I also work with many people who really are stuck without networks and resources that others take for granted.

Well I'm more confused than ever now. For context I'm not talking about posting asking for a hotel. I have an acquaintance who would tell me to book the ritz when all I want is a travel lodge. If someone posts to say a coffee in Costa is too expensive then what reply do they want? Save up for it? Take a flask? Go without? I really don't know how people are expected to reply to that

THIS

I bet my bottom dollar that half the 'performative thrift' (as another poster succinctly put it) comes from women with huge houses, inherited wealth, and Agas and silverware they inherited from Granny. So no they don't need to buy 'cheap tat' off Amazon because they've got antiques and heirlooms instead. And it's much easier 'making your own fun' when you've got a giant house and garden. Those sort of posters always put me in mind of that French and Saunders sketch with the two posh, stoic ladies who make their own sausages and robustly laugh off injuries such as chopping off their own fingers.

Maybe they just want someone to hear that it feels a bit shit that they can’t do something they used to be able to do and empathise a bit?

And yes people who know you should be aware you don’t want the Ritz for a night away somewhere.

I honestly really love porridge.

i make it with soya milk and put lots of raisins and jam in but a good bowl of porridge of a winter morning is actually a little joy for me.

but everyone’s different and you don’t have to like it.

i’m lactose intolerant and once accidentally ordered porridge in a coffee shop forgetting they make it with cows milk and honestly it spoiled my morning when I realised. Luckily before I ate any.

I used to cycle to work in London, which I did for fitness as much as to save money, but stopped when I got knocked off my bike by a van illegally turning down a one-way street. It didn't stop. I was OK luckily but it massively put me off cycling. Plus you arrive at work all sweaty, which isn't exactly professional.

Not sure what the context is here but just sticking in my two penneth!

"Yeah, it's shit isn't it? They're well over-priced these days." A bit of a sympathetic ear, job done. Just...be human?

Like that's realistic in a rainy December.

Waterproof trousers and bike lights exist 😂

I like porridge too. I started to incorporate it into my diet when I read that it can help with cholesterol levels, lowering them. My Mum used to give me porridge for breakfast as a child, but alas, when I left home, I fell into the trap,imo, of eating sugary, rubbish, and quick cereal. I don't eat those types of cereal anymore.

Spot on. Porridge is a perfect choice for breakfast. Not so if said porridge is purchased from a cafe takeout at £xx and you have no money.

Make wise choices and spend within your means. This applies to everyone.

And not be treated like you have some moral failing for "wasting" money.

1000% OP

I am tired of working hard for nothing. I got told I’m getting a 3% pay rise at work yesterday - whoop de doo…. Meanwhile my wages are being swallowed up by inflation. It’s demotivating.

Ok I'm sorry for totally not getting what its like to not afford things. I have never looked at my bank account and wondered if it will last till the end of the month, never wondered how long long i can make a tin of beans last. Never looked at my utility bills and nearly cried. I have lived within my means though so if that makes me inhuman and unsympathetic then so be it.