Mumsnet race to the bottom

[limeandwater]

I have noticed on MN there has been a real race to the bottom mentality. To be clear I am not talking about budget advice threads that can be incredibly helpful.

I am talking about the posters that think working people should be so accepting of a miserable life.

Again I am not talking about 5 star holidays in The Maldives, 26 plate Range Rovers, or shopping at Harrods Food Hall.

Somebody posts about the price of coffee then the response is to make your own and bring it with you. Somebody posts about the price of a cafe lunch on a family day out and the response is bring your own sandwiches. Somebody posted about the cost of running a car and the answer is cycle. Like that's realistic in a rainy December.

When did people get so accepting that life had to be miserable?

Funnily I am saving money (ok couple of quid) by having netflix and prime compared to tv licence. No one ever mentions that type of saving!
"cancel netflix for fiver" or "stop watching live tv, keep netflix, cancel tv licence for 15 quid".

I’d love to know how many people are straining coffee through a muslin.

I agree with what you mean about some of the advice, but I think the examples you chose were poor, and don't think cycling more, making your own lunch and making your own coffee are examples of a miserable life. I earn six figures and prefer to make my own lunch and coffee at home as it's heathier and nicer than what I can get when out and about.

It doesn't of course. I was using this as an example. but most things on offer are of a relatively hight fat content

It's the "make do and mend" mentality of those who are always happy to welcome austerity, at least for other people.

When warned that Brexit would lead to shortages and higher prices, they said "Bring it on, Britain can take it! We were never healthier than in the days of rationing" etc etc.

We had an exceptionally wet winter but it wasn't all day downpours.
Most days were drizzly.

Drizzle is rain.

And “paying for a nice bowl of fresh soup and a crusty roll” doesn’t have quite the same moral cachet as “greasy and fatty”.

A roll! OMG, the carbs. These people don't eat carbs for lunch. Far too indulgent.

It's not just performative thrift, it's performative miserableness.

Got something nice? You shouldn't be enjoying that. You've wasted time/money/resources on that that could have been better spent elsewhere, for someone who has less than you do. I hope you feel guilty.

Wish you had something nice? Why do you think life should be enjoyable in any way? People are too soft and cossetted these days. Be grateful for whatever you have got and if it's nothing, be grateful for that too.

The Thieves of Small Joys should just be ignored.

Hard disagree!

Agree.
OP I agree with your general sentiment and other pps have provided some good examples which I have definitely seen on threads, but your own examples were just practical advice, surely?
I am a middling earner, not well off but struggling and I view all of those things you mentioned as 'treats'. They're certainly not necessities.

HRTFF....but these two posts are spot on.

So much condescending preaching disguised as advice, by people you would avoid like the plague in real life.

Calm down, it was made with hand milled organic flour and fed two people for a week, so it was acceptable 😂

Depends on where you live, where I am it’s been properly rainy and it doesn’t need to be all day, just during your commute times. I have long memories of walking 40 minutes to school in the pissing rain, and drying out just in time to get soaked on the way home again. Fuelled my enthusiasm for school no end.

I get the impression some people want to do exactly what they want even if they can’t afford it, then complain about not being able to do what they want. Lots of the suggestions are practical but for some reason are resented. Surely if you need to cut back, you do it, it doesn’t mean it’s a ‘race to the bottom’ more you need to live within your means.

I'm not sure what replies people want though if they are complaining about the price of things. If you can't afford something then surely you find an alternative. There are things I would like but if I can't afford it I have no choice but to settle for something cheaper.

I find it more infuriating when I get someone tell me I should book that high end hotel in the city, or I should go on that holiday as you only live once. Well lucky you but I have bills to pay right now!

Right enough, that’s enough calories to keep a family of 5 for a week. Such extravagance.

Hey - you were the one who said you couldn't buy a bike but could find £10 for the bus. I'm pointing out there's a way to use those £10s to buy a bike that then starts to save you money.

And yes, I am "assuming" you can borrow a bike because it's very very very very very very very very very very very common that at least one of your friends has a bike they don't use, or that they do use a bit but can give up for a few weeks to help you out. I'd even go as far as to say it's pretty unusual not to have at least one friend who could loan a bike if you ask them. I fact I'd say your assumption that borrowing a bike is difficult is actually the more unlikely scenario!

And no, a waterproof of any sort is not essential. Just get changed! Trust me, that is how everyone who actually cycles does it :)

Seems to me this is less about these being actual practical problems and more that you have made your mind up something can't be done and now just want to find excuses to back it up.

I'm sorry but people saying their local Indian takeaway has got really expensive aren't posting so they can be told to batch cook some jacket potatoes instead as they are also food. We know. Sometimes it's just nice to commiserate with other people who used to enjoy and afford the same things.

Darn it, if only you'd been on a bike, you'd have got there in 10 minutes and been much less wet!

😘

The misery is equalling out. The lower WC has always been blamed for just not being clever enough/working hard enough/not having a inheritance/or a decent family. The bedroom tax, two children cap was heartily agreed with. Lifewas stressful, often cold and unhealthy. Then, oh, dear, the upper WC and lower MC started to suffer under austerity/brexit etc. So now posters are pointing out the equalness, rather than saying how terrible it is.
There's always been a lack of joy on here. I've wondered from day one what brings people joy, outside of earning/hoarding money, because family, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, socialising, watching other people getting on (via SM), helping neighbours/work colleagues/other parents/adult children has always been frowned upon.

But if I had bills to pay I wouldn’t post asking about hotel options for a city break, or what to do with a windfall. If I did post I’d expect everything from bury the money in the garden, to book a week at the Ritz. Context is everything, but telling someone who has no money to do things that will ultimately save money, but need cash to implement, is pretty short sighted and leaves people feeling like shit.

Well, bringing your own coffee and sarnies is just normal, I think. I’d never buy a coffee out or sandwiches. The cycling is a bit extreme, though it does depend. But my DD has started to cycle to work to keep costs down - about 40 mins each way.

Some people are problem people and some are solutions people. I just looked on facebook marketplace. I could get a perfectly usable bike for free today.