Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

Please OP - do say that you are going to forward that list to all the other halves (inc the Bride)? Some of them are going to need anti-biotics at the very least 🤮🤮🤮

I’m not married yet but I 100% agree with you, being the cool, laid back partner has always come back to bite me. Always. I think i mistakenly assumed that because I wouldn’t cheat, my partners also wouldn’t. I was completely wrong.

I now have very clear expectations of how we should both behave in our relationship. This doesn’t mean being controlling by any means (we don’t even share locations), but it’s okay to have boundaries and expectations.

One of them would be that my partner wouldn’t be stepping foot in that stag do. I’d also be forwarding that list to all the other partners.

Is he stupid op? To have all these very well known acronyms regarding sexworker services saved to something you can access suggests he is.

You say dp not dh so maybe not kids and mortgages involved to complicate things? Run for the hills would by my advice.

I hope you have read all the posts saying how naive you are being OP, I hope you take notice. Paying for sex is disgraceful.

Here are some other commonly used abbreviations in sexwork to be aware of, some of them are very crude so apologies in advance:

JOI = jack off instructions
SPH = small penis humiliation
CEI = cum eating instructions
CBT = cock and ball torture
FP = full personal aka full sex
ATM = ass to mouth (where someone receives anal and then the penis goes in their mouth after, mostly without protection)
MWAHE = massage with a happy ending, usually a handjob.
BL = when someone wants a sex with a barely legal teen.
TW = titwank.
CIM = cum in mouth

There is also another term which is particularly grim, "pozzing." It's when men actively seek out people who might have an STD, and have risky sex with them, OR the men themselves have an STD, and want to infect them on purpose.

BB = Bareback, as in sex without a condom.

Most sexworkers are incredibly sexually clean and hygienic, it's usually the "punters" who aren't. However, whenever women and girls are being sexually trafficked and exploited (which is not sexwork), their "pimps" don't care about their sexual well-being, and so they are often really unwell and at risk for STDs.

Why are people being rude to the op? Calling her naive when she’s the one who actually knows her dh. He didn’t make the list remember. Just because some of the people going on the stag are sleazy bastards it doesn’t mean he or the rest of the group will be as well.

People get so bloody spiteful and unpleasant on these threads.

God men disgust me.

I'm finding it odd people are calling her stupid and naive when she has actually bothered to look into what the list means in the first place!

Yes, he'll probably be enjoying the local museum...🙄

He's either taking part in it or he is condoning it by omission. Neither of those meet my standards so it'd be a huge "thanks but no thanks" from me.

Also, if they’re suffering from the cost of living crisis then why has the best man only priced up the “luxuries”? Surely he needs to let them know the prices of beer and a full English first?

I know you’ll come back with, it’s all inclusive. DP says he’ll probably have a quiet night/break off with some of the others. But that’s total bollocks. Every bloke on that trip will go home with a story that they got separated from the others so just had a few quiet ones, or went back early as pissed/headache/cold.

It is lies. They’re all down the black chicken and the tiki bar with quick jaunts to the massage parlours. Disgusting.

Obviously you can’t stop him going on this sex tour/stag weekend.

I would tell him not to bother coming back to me afterwards though. 🤮

Then completely ignored that her DP obviously knows and is taking her for a mug. There’s nothing more naive than that. I’m still laughing at the cost of living crisis. I’d have him out of the door already the cheeky dirty fucker

Why did you even ask us? You already suspected, but you’ve had it confirmed, and yet you still believe your partner has no idea and wouldn’t do any of this. Tell me, would go on a hen do where all the other hens were actively planning on visiting sex workers and cheating on their partners, or would you be disgusted by them and refuse to go?

You are naive. Of course he knew/knows. He likely plans on using the services too. How much cash has he got ready for it?

How long have you been together?

I'd be inclined to send it to all the wives and partners of these men if I had their contact details.

He is giving you a massive reason not to trust him just by being involved in this

@WestlieJ "I trust DP til he has given me reasons not to"

So theres not enough reasons already?

If this document hadn't been shared on the iCloud and you hadnt seen it, he would have gone off to Benidorm and you would have no idea of the exploits.

Are you saying he wont be joining the group at the SC and MP for OWO or FS or whatever the degrading terms are?!

Id be concerned for the company he keeps, it says a LOT about a grown ass man

And finding this spread sheet isn’t him giving you a reason not to trust him?!

Fuck me OP!

You seriously need to open your eyes.

Ultimately there will always be women who don't want to blow up their life over something they can pretend hasn't happened. Probably half the partners wouldn't be thanking OP if she did send them the list!

It wouldn't be my decision. I'd want to be with someone with more integrity than to just go along with it, regardless of whether he participated or not.

There was a thread the other day about the people who always say "namalt". Someone on there was insistent that most men are decent. Then you get threads like this! Nothing about this situation is "decent" and I couldn't respect a man who was involved in this in any way.

This would be marriage ending for me, I think. Your DH is presumably not an idiot? Therefore knows full well what is on offer, the fact that this is normal among the stag friends says it all, really. This is standard for them.

Same my friend, same.

I pray that my DD finds a love with a person who wouldn’t ever entertain this kind of shit. I worry about it less with my DS, women usually don’t seek sex trafficking victims on the whole. Hate to generalise of course

Obviously you can't stop him doing anything he wants, but you can say that you won't continue a relationship with him if he goes on this prostitution holiday

Massage parlour - £50 for a hour. Oral with?? Private massage. Full sex.
Would be a guess??

Only you know if you trust him to go in / chest.

Why are you still guessing (and getting it wrong) when it’s clearly been “decoded” already. The early on list was almost correct

Don’t get me wrong just because a friend of mine might do something inappropriate doesn’t mean I automatically am condoning that or the same as her, but I personally believe if my DH was friends with a group of men that are married and obviously partake in these activities often, even if DH apparently didn’t I would still struggle to find respect for him.

Having a mate that kissed a woman at the bar when he’s got a wife at home? Inappropriate but I’m not going to be annoyed at DH for that!

Willingly going on holiday with 16 men that are clearly interested in paying for cheap sex with woman that probably don’t want to do it hence the cost? That’s different