Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

Every single day I'm more and more greatful to be single. So many cheating dirty lying selfih shits.. What disgusting creatures. This would be a you go and we are done situation for me. Foul.

Every single day I'm more and more greatful to be single. So many cheating dirty lying selfih shits.. What disgusting creatures. This would be a you go and we are done situation for me. Foul.

This

They are so grim
This is why we prefer the company of a creature that shits in a box

@WestlieJ
How does reading all of these posts feel for you op?

One thing that does appear to have completely ignored by @WestlieJ is the multiple suggestions that she let the other WAGs know what she’s found out. I don’t understand her argument that she doesn’t know many of them very well…if I were her I’d have been messaging the ones I did know and telling OP that I was doing so.

Because using AI to answer a question on Mumsnet, and then further badgering the OP if they'd read "your" analysis is weird.

I'm sorry OP, but he's going because he doesn't really care that others may be using prostitutes out there.

He's going with full knowledge of what is going to happen.

If you hadn't seen the message, he wouldn't have told you about this.

He may have no intention of doing anything 'bad' , but alcohol and peer pressure can change a persons mind.

Being a bit older, I can safely say I would be telling the group, ' sorry lads, this type of thing isn't for me, I'll catch up with you all another time' .

If the groom thinks not being a sex tourist is ' letting him down', then that says more about him.

As I said in a previous post, the most worrying thing is, is that this has been researched and sourced ahead of the trip, it's not a spur of the moment thing whilst they are on a night out.

Yeah, the men feel no shame whatsoever.
The depth of men's disrespect for women is soul destroying

I agree with this, it isn’t completely bonkers to suggest that SOME men don’t go to strip clubs.. or worse. Of course they exist and it weakens the whole debate really to suggest they don’t. Whether they should be doing or saying more against the whole strip club / wankers on tour stag do culture remains to be seen but it’s not really on to say ALL men do it and ridicule anyone who says their husband doesn’t.

OP to give you another perspective- a friend of mine's partner was meant to be a joint best man on a stag do to Prague. He found out the other best man was planning to hire a person with dwarfism to be handcuffed to the groom all weekend (apparently this is a thing you can pay for) so he bowed out of the stag do all together as he said he didn't agree with it.

It is possible to have integrity were it something your DP really didn't agree with!

Thanks for posting this. I've actually read it before but it still brings tears to my eyes rereading it..

It should be mandatory reading for those who have a sanitised view of prostitution.

the other best man was planning to hire a person with dwarfism to be handcuffed to the groom all weekend (apparently this is a thing you can pay for)

WTF?!?!

I came back to this thread today to see what updates OP had posted on this situation.

And tbh i'm left wondering why she even started the thread.

She is obviously ok with guys using prostitutes - so long as they are single of course. She talks glibly about men going on sex tourist expeditions to Thailand. She doesn't have any worries about the type of men her Partner choses to mix with. She says she trusts him. So what is her issue?

She couldn't have it more clearly advertised that this is group of guys on a mission to buy sex. And yet her response is she can't stop him going.

Well she is right about that. BUT. If she is happy to be in a relationship with a man who at the very least, happily mixes with guys who see women as sex providers to be bought for their fun ,and who no doubt greedily listens to and laughs at the tales of their exploits, and more than likely joins in the entertainment himself, then she is an enabler and condor of women's exploitation.

And it’s not like they’re going to Prague, not sure what the relevance of that was!! x

Oh god!! How vile!

That's terrible.

Whilst not sexual I heard of some stags who went to Dublin dressed as leprechauns. I mean why would you? Surely that'd piss the locals off.

@dadtoateen "If people [men] want to visit those places, I don't judge them or think less of them, it's what they want to throw money at... Obviously i don't agree if they have partners/wives, that's cheating."

It IS time you and other men judged the shitbag men who use women as objects. Do you judge Epstein? Weinstein?
Is it ok for men to throw their economic weight around, and leave others in tatters?
Why don't men feel shame?
Why?
Because men dont care what women think of them. Men only care what other men think of them. And until men step up and stop this shitty behaviour in their friends, sons, and brothers, and think less of them for abusing women, such behaviour wont stop.

The OP may be right that her husband is against sex workers in theory and practice and he also may be totally trustworthy. My issue as others have raised is that by going along with this, he is 100% condoning this vile behaviour. It would be a huge issue for me if my husband went on a trip like this knowing trafficked women were going to be exploited, and I’m not sure what I’d do if he refused to forego the trip.

It's so depressing how low the bar is that men who don't do what the groom and his best pals will do on this Stag weekend are just so passive and just shrug about the men who do visit trafficked women. This vile attitude towards women is never going to change if none of the decent men who wouldn't do these things don't call out the ones who do. I'm reminded so much again, of how 'ordinary' those rapists of Giselle Pellicout were and how some of their wives were minimising what was happening as well as other men. God. Women really are seen as sub human, it's awful.😢

The other male poster as well, ohlovely aman'sopinion? He said just up thread that he'd bow out of these type of activities but this was what his response would be to the men raping trafficked women for money:-

Being a bit older, I can safely say I would be telling the group, ' sorry lads, this type of thing isn't for me, I'll catch up with you all another time' .

So, not, "you are a bunch of disgusting rapists and deplorable examples of the male species, I'm beyond disappointed in you all and don't bother keeping in touch, I'm not inclined to remain friends with men like you".

Sigh. And so the cycle of abuse of women continues. On and on and on...

It is possible to have integrity were it something your DP really didn't agree with!

The OP clearly has no integrity so we can’t expect her partner to have any.

I’m think I’m more sicked by OP reaction than anything else.

I know. Shocking.

She’s going to sit at home convincing herself her DP is sitting in a bar while he gets a blow job without protection from some trafficked girl. She’ll check his transactions and say oh look, he was in X bar all night, completely ignoring the fact that the blow job shop is a ten second walk away. Probably had a mate hold his pint.

Then she’s going to sit at the wedding, sip the fucking Prosecco and raise a toast to the bride. On a table of rapists. And she’s keeping their secret. Solidarity eh?

...so it is all men.

As fuck-all of them stop their mates.

Yes, of course, a trustworthy ex-pat is sorting out the sex workers for your partner's friends...

I'm sure the groom and your partner will enjoy the museums and local culture whilst their mates pay women for sex.

He is into that and more. He's disgusting.

He also said that from an ‘ethics’ perspective, the other best man sourced the details from an ex-pat working over there who is strictly independent

Sorry what?? How does this make it ethical? What am I missing?

Strictly independent of what??