Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

I read some of these.

Fucking men , so many of them are just absolutely fucking vile.

One of these men (who had posted on an online forum rating prostitutes) said he could normally only get out during the day while he's at work, but his wife was going away to visit relatives for a week so he could go out every night to clubs and choosing prostitutes.

And the descriptions of the women - heartbreaking.

Yes. Honestly, I so wish all the evil men on these punter forums could be named and shamed. Punternet & UK Punting are just as bad.

It's sadly telling the ones in Canada are just as horrible given Canada's often thought of as a more gender equal country.

IMHO you are being naive he didn’t notice or know what it meant.

If he genuinely didn’t, he should do. Everyone should be aware of trafficking and exploitation of women. The question they should ask is: “How would I feel if this was my mother, sister or daughter: being listed as a commodity?”. Because the women supplying these ‘services’ are someone’s mother, sister and/or daughter.

People who don’t challenge the exploitation of women are part of the problem.

Your husband plans to fuck prostitutes in Benidorm, along with his grubby mates. You already know this. If you choose to stay with him, you choose to do so knowing this.

Meh. Shrug.

May this sort of ‘relationship’ never find me. 🤮

There is something so messed up with this.

There is a stag do, where part of the organised activities involves a strip club (including ‘personal dances’), and a massage parlour with a menu of sex services.

It would seem there are men, including the stag, all holding up their hands going ‘oh, that’s okay, I won’t be doing those particular activities but it’s great if others in the group would like to’, and are happy to go on that basis.

If this was me, and I was stag, or indeed any other man going with a shred of self-respect and decent character, I would be saying it’s not the trip for me due to these aspects and I would be bowing out. But here we have a whole lot of men, seemingly, saying ‘no, it’s all great, I will just be having a cup of tea and contemplating my navel while the other lads go off and do those bits, but looking forward to getting on that plane!’. Even if that line is actually true, if that was my DH he wouldn’t be the person I thought he was and that would be that. Similarly, I know my DH would think exactly the same about myself, it’s not one sided. I would think this bride to be has a bloody low bar.

My DH has been the first/only to go back to the hotel in these situations before. He’s found that once he’s said he’s not going, a fair few other members of the group decide to join him and skip the strip club too. I’d like to think it’s a vocal minority on these stags trying to lead everyone into strip clubs.

Is the bride aware of these plans? I’d certainly be telling her.

ChatGPT suggests

• SC – Strip Club
• Ent – Entrance fee
• PD – Private Dance
• MP / MS – Massage (often “Massage Parlour” or simply massage session)
• HR – Half hour
• OWO – Oral WithOut protection
• PM – Private Massage
• SO – Straight Oral (oral sex without additional services)
• FS – Full Service (typically implies sexual intercourse)

Strip Club Ent = Entry fee (€10–20)
PD = Private dance (€50–70)
MP = Massage parlour
Strip club add-ons:

• HR = Half hour
• OWO = “Oral without” (i.e. without protection)
• PM, SO = private massage, service only
• FS = Full service (typically meaning sex)

Oh dear God, that is grim.

I salute you for your investigative skills though.

Sounds like your partner and all those men are going to be trying to step out on you and their partners,unless they are all single and have not put into account your partner cant be doing those things. Definitely not a bunch of people id associate with or a man id think about marrying if this is the type of fun they are considering. Id be definitely having a talk with your partner and maybe saying no to this event and asking them to maybe do something local.

This is one of those posts that provides a perfect example of some women's blind love for their men.
OP, your husband does know, helped organise and will, in some capacity, take part. It's not even a big stag do, 16 people isn't a big stag do. Those 16 dirty scrubbers will be going everywhere together.
Including for their 'abbreviations'!

It's a problem bigger than this thread tbh. Bigger than the OP's relationship even.

Men do this shit. Trouble is, we need men to do the nuclear-family-in-society thing , so we do the most extraordinary mental gymnastics to explain it all away and convince ourselves that "my DP" would never. Other people's would, but not mine.

If women truly acknowledge what men are really like we wouldn't touch 99.99% of them, and the species would die out.

---

disclaimer - I'm not saying what these men are doing is right nor am I justifying it. I'm saying it is a big conundrum for our species.

As if British male expats are ever to be trusted in sex matters lmao

Disgraceful all around

@TheGoldenOwl I don’t think most posters are saying “mine would never”, but rather saying “it would likely be a dealbreaker issue”.

Yes agreed, but this is my point also.

Many women if they truly acknowledged what men were like would therefore break up with the one they have because of the dealbreaking issue

(and therefore blow up their whole life)

hence the mental gymnatsics. Because it is just too much.

OP, be sure to circulate this to the bride and wags

grim

Did you guess from the initials, or did you know what they meant already?
Genuine question, it seems I have lived a sheltered life 🫣

These abbreviations, are they widely known by all me or has best man made them up and how do all other men in the thread know the code?

Even bloody AI knows what it is!
Disgusting!
All of the "stags" will be telling their mrs/gf that they won't be partaking! As if!

I think you’re being naive OP. Look through this board. No one ever thought- oh yes the man I live and trust will cheat on me.
He probably knew fine well about the plans.
How many Stag weekends has he been on before? Do you really think this is the first with this itinerary and you’ve just happened to catch it?
Aldo what about the other partners?
I think it’s from of you and your husband to just to shrug your shoulders and say let others get on with it? Wish we’d all stop accepting this shit from men

I’m really glad I came across this post because even if I had glanced at the itinerary I don’t think I would have clocked it

Why would it be disappointing that Stag parties go to strip clubs? Why is it any worse than Hen parties going to see male strippers?
Male strippers are expected to get fully naked and are expected to allow touching etc, female strippers rarely get fully naked and are never allowed to be touched!

Agree.

You are being incredibly naive OP and even IF your husband doesnt partake, what does it say about him as a person that he's quite happy to go along with these grubby activities.

More fool you. Your husband isnt a good guy.