Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

Prostate massage/strap on
(apparently).

Another poster enlightened us. 🤢

No need to mansplain. Libel would be impossible to evidence by way of serious harm to your reputation, unless, that is, your legal name is Mr Dadto Ateen.

You know something?

your post is absolutely superb.

thank you for taking the time to write this, i really appreciate it.

i am glad to say that i have not associated myself with these type of people for many years.

again, I genuinely appreciate your very honest and well thought out post to me.

Is he saying that its an ex-pat sex worker who is offering services to the whole group? Therefore its ethical because its one British woman? Then why use the phrase 'MP' and quote a base rate of €50?

I'm trawling male forum threads about visiting prostitutes on places like Pistonheads and Reddit.

There's a lot of callous and deluded men on them.

This one, from the wonderful 2000s lad culture era, is probably one of the worst I've seen and shows the attitude some men have .

The self-deludedness of many men who buy sex would be funny if it weren't so often highly disturbing.

' There are some very nice Indian hookers though, as you found, and any taxi driver can take you to a place to find them. I even found a great little place in Goa a few years ago, when my ship was in dry dock there. The funny thing was, apart from the language, the girls were just the same giggling, happy go lucky, 'fashion conscious' sweet young things that you find in whore bars in Thailand, Philippines, Indonesia etc. They'd sit on your lap, play games, make simple conversation, get the sulks if you spoke to another girl, scrounge drinks, play hurt when you left without rooting them. Oh, but how the western media loves to portray them as miserable little sex slaves trapped against their will. hehe (laughing emoji)'

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=141&t=362263&i=260

you see- absolutely no consideration of whether the behaviour of these (likely poor & unwilling) young women was an act. No, they just love spending their lives selling sex to foreigners!
And this reply : 'That's a very attractive quality that seems to have long disappeared from Western girls.'

I wonder why? 🤔

That doesn’t make any of it more “ethical” .
I wouldn’t keep friends who find this acceptable, and I wouldn’t keep a partner with friends like this.
It’s such a depressing read, that list. Men being given a price list for women’s bodies. A price list to choose in what way to exploit an actual other human being, a woman like their wives and girlfriends. It is absolutely shameful, the whole thing. It’s 2026 and men are STILL treating women like this.

This!

The issues I’m struggling with are the other best man being

‘mindful it’s a cost of living crisis and he doesn’t want people to lose out when exchanging left over funds.’

What word soup is that, especially ‘exchanging left over funds’ ?

What does ethically sourcing the details from a ‘strictly independent’ ex-pat mean ? More word soup.

The other best man and his 6 or 7 mates make up approx. 50% of the stags so if they are such ‘lads’ and Thailand regulars how are they also such good friends with the groom he doesn’t know how this jolly is going to pan out?

I’m reminded of an old routine of Billy Connoly’s regarding ‘wire brush and Dettol’. OP might want to try that on her DP’s return – preventative obviously.

That's part of the problem-these men only care if other men disapprove, not about women's opinions...

@WestlieJ

Out of interest i asked my DH about this

He also didnt knoe what the letters meant then worked out SC was strip club but didnt get what MP was. I explained.

He said that he'd go on a pub crawl in the uk with the groom and his non pervert/dickhead mates but theres no way he'd get on a plane and hang on with these reprobates in benidorm.

I really think you are sending a bad message by being even remotely okay with this.

The idea its "ethical" because the best man got a local referral for the massage parlour and strip club is just... beyond naive / twisted logic....

Pistonheads threads also provide intetesting insights into how (some) men talk about what happens during stag dos among themselves.

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=210&t=1832138

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=226&t=12868

https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&f=210&t=1368860

No one can libel you when no one knows who you are

Are you saying that one ex-pat will be the only sex worker involved? I don't understand what you're saying here.

From an ethics perspective, he's facilitating rape. It doesn't matter if he rapes someone himself, he helped to arrange the sex tourism and now is condoning others engaging in it. You seem to be ok with that, so you're indirectly supporting rape. I don't understand how you can support that.

Would he be ok with a trip to Benidorm to rob the locals? How is this any better?

I'm sure he realizes that many prostituted women and girls say they're independent even when they're being trafficked. They say what the client wants to hear, especially when someone else has control. How can he possibly know if all the women with whom they will have sex are not trafficked?

His mate might have just put them there as a joke.

I genuinely wonder this. The prices look suspiciously cheap (not that I'd know) and I've seen a stag night itinerary with "midget hookers" at the end and I'm sure that was a joke.

Not sure how you'd ever find out for sure, mind you.

There are lots of these odd threads lately where the op gets very defensive about the poor behaviour of her partner.

SC: Strip club
Ent: Entry
PD: Private Dance
MP: Massage Parlour
HR: Think this is a typo for HE: Happy Ending
OWO: Oral with orgasm
PM,SO: Private Massage, Sucked Off
FS: Full Sex

Edited to add, haven't RTFT

Is your husband using Chat GPT? Or just stupid?

Because that answer makes no sense.

He was complicit with use of sex workers from the moment he sent around that sex menu with pricing. The menu is unethical in itself, it doesn't matter who sent it to him. Being a Brit doesn't make the source ethical. Not does maybe bring a sex worker, if that's what he means.

He may not partake but he is complicit because he sent emails with the menu and he's going on a party to a sex tourism spot where at least some of the party will be using trafficked women. He's okay with being part of a group of men that will rape women. That's what it boils down to.

Ethical my ass.

And now you know your "ethical" husband knew and lied to you about it.

Grim....

I find this revolting. What sort of men are these? 14-year olds just released from prison?

Oh gosh could it be “Personal Midget”

I wouldn’t put it past the disgusting creeps

Gosh don’t insult the average 14 year old - they are quite good with consent!

Urgh. Just gross. Op if your husband is a decent guy he won't be complicit in this

How sad.

Imagine being a man who gets his kicks by joining a women’s forum and telling women how much better he knows about everything.

Exactly. I think a surprising number of women might see their partners differently of they heard how they talk and act with just male friends around.

He wouldn’t have used abbreviations if it was a joke