Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

OP .... your partner is complicit in all of this even if, as he claims, he will not partake in the sexual activities

Why would he organise and be part of such a trip? What does he gain? What is the point? What is he going for? To socialise with these unsavoury morally-bankrupt men? .... is this a good thing? Or to sit alone and drink tea?

He's happy to be a part of all this, to condone it essentially. He is not a sweet innocent in all this. He is not someone I would like to share my life with.

He is trying to appear the innocent saint in all this .... he is not.

The "ethics perspective" is that it is fundamentally wrong to buy womens bodies, many of whom may well have been trafficked. It is rape. I have no idea what the heck you're talking about! What do you mean "independant"? I was feeling some sympathy towards you until that.

The issue is not solely about whether your DP and the groom cheat, its the fact they'll happily socialise with men this grim and disgusting! But clearly you have no issue with that.

Well rather you than me is all I can say. My bar is higher.

I once had surgery in Prague and the flight home was about 80% stag weekend blokes.
Having had the 'pleasure' of listening to what they'd got up to on that flight I'd say any stag do abroad is red flag city.
I also heard of similar antics in Barcelona from a bloke I used to know.

Besides surely if someone is mindful about a CoL crisis they would organise a stag do close to home. Not abroad.

OP, you are extremely naive. I'm sorry to be blunt.

My husband wouldn't go on a stag do where the rest of the group are going to be partaking in these 'activities'

It's called respect. It would just be really weird for him to hang around with a bunch of guys with such low morals.

I think this is a good point. We all justify things to sleep at night.

OP justifies staying with him by telling herself she believes him.

He justifies going because he (apparently) won't be partaking.

The groom justifies his preference to maintain his friendships by turning a blind eye to his mates behaviour.

And a group of women, who happen to need money, probably to raise their kids, give a series of blow jobs every night without condoms to men for less than the price of a tank of fuel.

If there were any ethics the groom would be saying he wants no part of it on his stag do, not that he won't partake but the others can carry on. I wouldn't want to be friends with any of them either

What do you mean “from an ethics perspective” the list was sourced from an ex-pat. Why is that relevant?

The groom and OP's husband are so saintly and disinterested in paying for sex that they chose Benidorm for the stag party. Just to cater for their more sleazy friends, of course.

If you think for even a moment that your DP hasn't called his friend/groom and given him the details and planned to exchange a series of texts to come out looking innocent, well, I really think you need to open your eyes to the world.

Is he your first serious boyfriend? Because you sound like a young 20-something who really does just believe that he loves you and that your world is generally full of genuine people who aren't selfish and won't literally say anything to carry on as they are.

Its just very naive (and I don't mean that as an insult, just that you really don't know what's out there)

I’m not sure OP is being naive rather than willfully ignorant at this point

She’s now retired and adverts say her granddaughter continues the practice. *So I’ve heard.

If this isn't the grooms thing either, why is he not putting his foot down and saying I'd rather not do this on MY stag weekend? If your DH and the groom were completely blindsided by the addition of these sex menu abbreviations why was their immediate reaction not to shut it down, cancel that aspect and ensure that this is something that they do not want to be involved in?

I'm suspicious that your DH's first reaction was to make a joke (wagatha) and then try and suggest it was to do with cost of living (he must think you are zipped up backwards) and then when questioned further, he says it's for the single lads of the group who apparently frequent Thailand (popular for men who wish to have sex with underage boys and girls btw, for the extra ick factor) and STILL your Spidey senses aren't tingling? Why is the groom (who doesn't do this sort of thing according to your DH) friends with men who apparently are into this sort of thing, and why does the groom also have a best man who would casually list sex acts for sale like you would a shopping list? And the ultimate why, why, knowing all this now, is your DH still going? Mine would have run in the other direction by now. However, as previous posters have said, birds of a feather flock together. I'm sorry op, but something is really off here. Even if you do trust your husband, the fact that he will still willingly go away for a stag weekend where more than half of the men will be raping trafficked women for money and it doesn't stop him in his tracks, that would be a line in the sand for me.

She means her boyfriend and the groom are shrugging their shoulders and saying "nuffink to do wiv us, guv."

just as they will when it all goes to shit and some cheats and someone gets caught ouout. They will, have course, have gone home earlier or some suxh nonsense.

In this scscenarioi think what op is getting at is thst her boyfriend and groom have concocted a story whereby the naughty co-organiser has spoken to his ex-pat mate to get the list (who conveniently neither groom or her boyfriend know). And then posted it in the chat. Which is yet another thing those saints knew nothing about 🤔 or the shorthand. They dont seem to know a lot...

I'm not sure how much the OP really trusts her husband if she went to the trouble of reading all the messages about the stag do.

No doubt the iPad just fell open on that page.

She didn't write that it was ALL men.

Just that this is what men, who were the ones that wrote the reviews, had written.

Why are you still defending men?

Oral without

The groom and your DP are willingly spending time with abhorrent men.

Even if this sex worker is apparently ‘ethically sourced’ (wtf??), which is not true at the prices she’s charging, then it doesn’t counter the fact some of the group are open about using, almost definitely forced, sex workers in Thailand.

If my DP spent time with people like that and didn’t call them out for the scumbags they are, it would change the way I’d look at them forever.

Are you not a woman? How can you not feel devastated?

Benidorm definitely is known for sex tourism. It has an incredibly seedy strip.

I'm not sure why op really posted it seems on further inspection it doesnt really matter if she's being naive or not because she's ok with it all anyway?

It's threads like this that really shine a light on men. Making a list of costs associated with prostitutes, how thoughtful.

There even though the groom supposedly "won't partake", which is the biggest load of BS I've ever read.

How can "the good ones" stay friends with the ones who are willingly and openly sex tourists to places like Thailand? We're all aware of the dangers there, the trafficked women, the children involved.

But then, we had police officers laughingly calling colleague Wayne Couzens "The Rapist" and look what happened there.

Until men wake tf up and start holding each other accountable for this utter shite, they'll get no respect from me.

Can you please ask what the abbreviations mean I’m desperate to know 😂

Surely you can get your hubby to ask?!

That poster is a man @Lugol , that's why he's defending his sex class.

If good men like dadtoateen don't call it out, then the cycle continues and the statistics will continue. Such as this one; For 98% of sexual assaults (including rape), the perpetrators are male. Over 80% of victims are female.

🙄