Stag do plans and suspect abbreviations

[WestlieJ]

DP is joint best man for a close friends Wedding in early summer and the stag is abroad next month. DP sorted the logistics of booking, chasing everyone for payment etc (there is 16 people going). The other best man has put together a ‘plan’ for the long weekend and sent to DP for his approval.

I’ve seen this because it’s saved to iCloud and we can jointly access that through the iPad we share to watch Netflix etc.

It’s all fairly standard stuff, but the final section is titled ‘expected costs’ and lists things such as a beer, meal in restaurant, etc, to help people budget. Within this section there are abbreviations, which I’ve taken to be ‘dodgy’ given they are not written in full and one is fairly obviously a strip club, although no idea on ‘MP’.

Ive got it in front of me as took a photo so have written out exactly:

SC - Ent: €10-20 / PD: €50-70
MP - €50 / HR +€30 / OWO + €40 / PM,SO +€50 / FS €100

I have already asked DP who said he scanned over the main itinerary and didn’t even realise that last section was on there and has no idea what it means. He also said he never has and never will step foot in a strip club.

Am I being naive to think DP was unaware? And does anyone know what the last part means?

I think it was the other best man that did the list.

Think op's bloke organised the flights and hotels, non of the 'activities'

Well they either get off on the women not wanting to do it, or they convince themselves they're a Sex God and the women love sex and money or they feel entitled as they've paid.

There was a recent newspaper piece about ex prostitutes who were unhappy that the men had left public reviews of them as they were no longer prostitutes and the comments were a depressing range of "well I paid" and "other men need to know if she's doing a shit job"

No. There are 16 of them going.

The other best man is obviously fine with it, your DP lied about it and pretended not to know what it was, it has since transpired that at least 7 of the others are outwardly proud sex tourists who frequent Thailand, the stag knows this, he’s happy with them as his best mates but somehow you are deciding to believe he’ll be disgusted by the sex menu. That’s 10 out of the 16. At least. It’s safe to assume the other 6 are of the same ilk.

OP you were naive enough to think lads go to Benidorm for a cheap piss up. Then naive enough to believe the best man had kindly tried to assist with the cost of living. Naive enough to believe your DP didn’t recognise a fucking sex menu when he saw one. Naive enough to not work out that they have already discussed this, that they are egging each other on and carelessly sending sex menus round. Naive enough to think your DP knew it was on the cloud on the iPad. I bet he sorts that out sharpish.

Why would your DP be the little naive prince amongst this litter of rapists? He actually laughed at you when you worked out the list.

If you keep this from the bride and then sit toasting her at the wedding, side by side with the rapists, that’s fucking sick.

You have the perfect opportunity now to let her know. The PPs idea upthread was perfect.

“So glad you’re as sickened as I am Simon. Good to hear Hugh is the same and you’ve had a word. I’ve let Sonia know too for transparency”.

😂😂😂😂that's brilliant

My mates ex said this. Him and the groom didn’t bother going in, they were starving from the hangover they had, couldn’t move after a burger, but X Y and Z the dirty bastards did. Spilled the beans on them whilst polishing his halo.

Guess what? The thick fucker thought archiving the group chat would disappear if from his phone. A few months later she found out he had group sex with the groom and 3 Eastern European prostitutes in Benidorm.

People aren’t telling the Op these stories because they feel better than her. They’re just (probably) older, wiser and have experienced it. Once you see it then you can see it everywhere.

Bravo!!!

Grim....

Correct. So many people missing this point!

Well I much prefer that list,

The other one is tacky (understatement). Imagine marrying someone who is going to spend their stag night/weekend doing that. Bleugh.

Sorry but I'm intrigued now, how did that end up leading to you discovering his cheating? I'm so sorry this happened to you though. It's actually sickening just how many men do this to their partners, so so awful.

DH has been on a few stag do's abroad and he says some of the guys would break away and go do their own thing iykwim so just because that's in the group chat doesn't mean everyone will partake in it.

DH couldn't do much about who was invited on other people's stag do's but definitely doesn't socialise with them normally. His own stag was local, small and down the pub! Also DD's BF confirmed on his 'end of school' trip some boys disappeared off to such clubs as well so as I said it doesn't mean they all will.

There might well be an evening "entry" but more likely for spit roasting...

Misogyny and horrendous treatment of women will only reduce when good men call out bad men. Women can be as outraged as they want but that isn’t going to change men’s behaviour. If OP’s partner is a good man he needs to call out this sleazy behaviour, not ignore it or just go and sit in another bar whilst the rest of the group waltz off to the strip club with a cheery wave

Nobody is missing that. It’s irrelevant, he was up for it and now he’s busted.

What 'point' are you referring to OP? What have we missed?

You felt the abbreviations were dodgy...the majority of PPs confirm they are sex worker abbreviations and the stag party is going to benidorm, a renound place for stag groups going for sex and cheap beer. I would say 2+2=4 here.

You've been told that you are probably right with your suspicions but now you seem to be 'not my nigel' about it all? 🤷‍♀️ it's not hard to comprehend, awful and horrible as it's likely to be but it would seem likely that your DP knows full well what that menu of items is and is playing dumb.

I understand that. But now that he knows they are planning a rape holiday, why does he still want to go?

Do you think it's ok that he's supporting rape/non-consensual sex, even if he doesn't rape anyone himself? (If he doesn't)

Some may have but plenty haven’t missed that. Is it your belief that this means your husband had no part at all in discussions about using sex workers and that he genuinely missed the price list ( 🤢) and genuinely didn’t know what it meant when he did see it? Given his blasé attitude to your message, I think it’s all a bit of a stretch to think he isn’t completely accepting and on board with it all.

This with bells on. He didn't know my arse. He knew and probably suggested activities.

@WestlieJ

SC almost certainly means Strip Club (very common shorthand in UK/European stag-do planning).

• Ent: €10-20 = Entrance / entry fee (typical for many clubs abroad).
• PD: €50-70 = Private Dance (lap dance or VIP dance in a back room — again, standard pricing and abbreviation in strip-club menus and stag-do budgets).

That part is exactly what you suspected: a budgeted strip-club visit. The MP line is a price list for sexual services at a Massage Parlour (the industry-standard code for a brothel or “happy-ending” establishment that offers full extras). This is confirmed across sex-industry glossaries, escort forums, and multiple Mumsnet/Reddit threads discussing exactly these stag-do abbreviations. Breaking it down item-by-item (all standard codes used in European massage-parlour / brothel menus):

• MP - €50 → Base price at the Massage Parlour (usually a timed session — e.g. 30–45 minutes of massage + basic “release”).
• HR +€30 → Hand Relief (hand-job / hand release).
• OWO +€40 → Oral Without (condom) — oral sex without a condom. (Note: one Mumsnet reply mistakenly said “Oral with orgasm”; the universal meaning in this context is without condom.)
• PM,SO +€50 → Prostate Massage + Strap-On (PM = prostate massage; SO = strap-on / pegging). This is a very specific add-on that appears in European brothel menus and was explicitly decoded that way in the Mumsnet thread you posted from.
• FS €100 → Full Service (full penetrative sex / intercourse to completion). This is the industry-wide term for “everything included” sex.

The slashes and “+” structure is how these menus are often written — base session price, then each extra service and its additional cost, with FS as a flat-rate “full package” option.

OP isn’t concerned that her DP is friends with men who have form for exploiting women. She only cares whether her DP cheats or not. So in her eyes it’s fine for him to go along to support his friends as long as he doesn’t look at the women they are exploiting.

Grim!

Owo - oral without condom
PM- Prostate massage
SO- strap on

Yes he's either stupid, a sex tourist or both. None of which are long term relationship material.

If Benidorm is such a notorious sex destination why did OP's DP choose it, he did the organising ?

Omg can we stop with the acronym explanations, think that's all been well covered.

He missed the price list but when OP drew attention to it, he called her Wagatha, excused the Best Man and said he was being considerate for a cost of living crisis (for paying for prostitutes) but he didn't then ask the other best man what the list was. But still felt he needed to go and cry to the groom about it. i.e. give him a heads up his girlfriend is on to him and come up with a cover because she might tell others and spoil the fun.

Funny nobody was abbreviating Stella Artois to SA or Vodka and Coke to VC and DP wasn't confused by the terms.

He hasn't asked Best Man to clarify because he knows what the terms mean. That's what makes him obviously guilty.

Not "sorry, missed that OP. What do those terms mean? I'll ask Steve the Best Man...OK, so he's said they are sex worker terms 😬 I don't want to let groom down but that's really not my scene, can we talk later about how to handle this?"

Biggest mistake you've made OP was letting on you'd seen the chat.

This makes me feel physically ill knowing what these abbreviations mean